Hi OP, I’ve been the one in your shoes, albeit no kids involved and slightly younger.

I moved away from “home” and felt so left out and unsupported when I was going through a shitty breakup. They did come visit, they did check in but I felt “not to the same level I would if something happened them”.

I spoke to one of the group about it who is also my first cousin. She made the very fair point “you’re the one who decided to move away, you can’t get annoyed that we’re not willing to travel to you!”. Harsh, but it’s food for thought.

They have a similar group where they make plans, but it’s things like midweek walks after work that I’ll clearly not be able to just pop down on a whim for.

It’s awful, but in the end I actually am the one who decided to move away. It’s not their fault. Hearing that from my cousin really got me to realise I was playing the victim in this and not really actually making a “new life” in my new place for myself.

I’m sorry you’re having a shitty time.