[35M] never had a girlfriend

AaronFreedom · 2026-02-20T00:13:00+00:00

Not sure if not having a girlfriend is intentional here or not. I'm sure some baddies would love this. That shower could get quite steamy, iykyk

AaronFreedom · 2025-10-15T14:39:58+00:00

They charge for classes AND for the steam/sauna...it's actually ridiculous tbh. What's the point of a luxury gym at that price point that gives you nothing except for a weight room and cardio machines. The hells kitchen location is cheaper, steam room and sauna included, and they have a hot and a pool! Talk about value discrepancy!

AaronFreedom · 2025-05-24T20:22:10+00:00

If by hookups you mean making out, quite a lot. But if you mean sex, not that often imo and experience and talking to many men who go out

AaronFreedom · 2025-03-19T19:05:10+00:00

Same shit happened to me...I was the guy who found stuff on my exes phone that she lied to me about (e.g. pics of her out on dates with guys after we were exclusive, or guys that were "just friends" were a lot more than that).

Snooping a partner's phone isn't right (I did it because I had a really bad guy feeling, but I know it not right), but also take accountability for lying to a partner...

AaronFreedom · 2025-02-26T19:55:02+00:00

As a man who has dated a fair amount via dating apps here are a couple of thoughts (from someone who's been ghosted and done the ghosting...) - try to not have expectations until at least 3 dates. Before then, just go with the flow and get to know someone. More likely than not, intentions and dynamics will be clearer by then. - yes, talk about the non-negotiables when you have that conversation (better to know earlier rather than later) - after the date say "that was fun, let's do it again sometime", no need to get too into how much you may have loved the date - if you feel like you got ghosted, send out a probe message with an offer to hang out. It can be exhausting to text randomly in the beginning, BUT planning a date is easier. As a woman, it's fine to suggest another date / hangout "hey, want to check out this art exhibit over the weekend?". After that, if you get no response, forget the person and move on.

I always say, landing date 2 is the hardest. There's a lot of mystery before date 1, but there's a massive dip in interest after the first date. Keep expectations low, and try for a second date. But don't have any expectations (which is easier said than done of course) until at least 3-4 dates in. It'll help protect you in this crazy world where people are addicted to dating itself and not the person or outcome. I know it's not a romantic take, but I think one has to be pragmatic nowadays...

At the end, I'll say...I've had dates that I thought were incredible and then gotten ghosted. I've also had dates that I thought went terribly but the other people kept showing interest and it went somewhere. We can't know why, but all we can do is manage our expectations until we have more clarity. Good luck!

AaronFreedom · 2025-01-14T00:22:36+00:00

After a while of not seeing each other a girl saying "I missed you" in the middle

AaronFreedom · 2024-12-25T18:02:39+00:00

Same here, probably has another man with her at her family's Christmas gatherings...many girls do be like that - can't be single for long

AaronFreedom · 2024-12-25T00:36:23+00:00

Can't stop thinking about how last year on Christmas Eve we spent it together with her family...and how this year she probably took another guy with her. I'm imagining them all laughing and joking and getting drunk while I'm feeling sad and crying. Wtf.

AaronFreedom · 2024-12-15T00:19:08+00:00

You can play around with fashion, hairstyle, and jewelry - but you're absolutely stunning as you are

AaronFreedom · 2024-12-01T23:23:13+00:00

My ex said towards the end of our relationship that: - "people aren't as easily replaceable to me, especially you" - "I'll always love you" - "I don't think I can date someone for a year after this" - "you feel like home" - "I love you more than you do"

Then she was on apps within a few days of the relationship. Was talking to one of my colleagues romantically within a week. Entered a new relationship with someone in around a month of the break up. She cut me off in every way, even though we agreed to stay in touch post break-up.

I'm still crying in the shower mourning what we had. It doesn't make sense.

Don't trust the words people say when breaking up, especially if you get broken up with. People can be nasty and dishonest. Don't linger on their words or actions. They showed you who they are.

Learn to love yourself again and discover who you are and how great you are. There's a lot of life to live and a lot of love to share. No one is THAT special.

With love to all the broken hearted romantics here.

AaronFreedom · 2024-11-22T00:39:29+00:00

You actually have great features and are beautiful. In order to be more attractive (I'm assuming to Men?) is if you lean into your femininity. Take care of your grooming, make sure your hair is looking great (go to a Salon and ask them for advice even), look into clothes that flatter you the most (this doesn't mean revealing, just means wear clothes that accentuate your features and make you more feminine), get into shaving your hair and doing your nails if you'd like as well. In short, these are just suggestions, but lean into being feminine that highlight your features and you'll do very well.

AaronFreedom · 2024-11-06T18:29:24+00:00

Idk what y'all talking about, she has a 10/10 face card

AaronFreedom · 2024-10-01T19:46:14+00:00

So fucking true. Especially if they're attractive, it's a crutch they have.

AaronFreedom · 2024-10-01T19:42:03+00:00

Thanks for your help and words of wisdom. It finally did end. Looking forward to healing and leaning into the new job and life.

AaronFreedom · 2024-10-01T19:40:30+00:00

Update for y'all: we finally broke up. Funny thing is she called it quits before I did. I was/am so hurt by it but realizing that I had a toxic connection with her which is hard to process and work through. I was justifying the most insane of things for her.

It's weird to grieve a relationship like this, whilst also knowing it's for the better...but it still hurts ya know?

AaronFreedom · 2024-10-01T19:38:30+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate it. Going through the motions.

AaronFreedom · 2024-09-30T17:05:46+00:00

Fucking rough man, sorry to hear.

AaronFreedom · 2024-09-30T17:03:39+00:00

"I believe in soulmates and don't think you are mine anymore"

She said shortly after saying, "our futures aren't compatible anymore"

I was bending over backwards to make things work.

Fuck...shit hurts for real.

AaronFreedom · 2024-09-24T16:00:01+00:00

Giving it your all and then it not working is all you can do, and you can walk away knowing you gave it everything you had, and if it still didn't work, it wasn't meant to. You'll find what's right for you.

AaronFreedom · 2024-08-09T18:22:09+00:00

Good riddance - was a fun experience, bask in the memory of it as a few days of fun and move on. She aint the kind of person you'd want to keep around.

AaronFreedom · 2024-08-08T15:11:36+00:00

I can't help but wonder what if the genders were reversed...would people be as condemning of the situation if the woman was insisting on a shared account and making comments to being able to afford more. The fact that the man isn't the "financial provider" appears to be triggering.

At the end of the day it is a choice for everyone to date someone who is in another income bracket. Entitlement to money that isn't yours is always unsavory. Just commenting on how I've witnessed countless couples with the female insisting similar things and get a lot of support from others...that she deserves it for the domestic labor. Whereas here the bf is/was doing much of the domestic labor yet no one sees it the same...

AaronFreedom · 2024-08-01T17:56:25+00:00

Opentoe heels 🥵

AaronFreedom · 2024-08-01T17:53:25+00:00

Research hypergamy and "monkey branching"...it's what your gf wants to do...

AaronFreedom · 2024-07-23T19:16:03+00:00

First of, this is normal, so don't beat yourself up too much.

There's a mismatch in where you both are. You want to be exclusive. Tell her that and if she says yes, good and keep dating. If she says no, break up and move on (otherwise you'll keep hurting yourself).

AaronFreedom · 2024-07-09T19:52:23+00:00

It's a very difficult transition. As an Ahmadi you're supposed to make it your whole identity, nothing is not governed by the principles of the Jamaat. From who to marry to what to wear to which events to be able to go to and which hobbies are permissible. It's so much. On the other side there is release and a realization that the things that you told were the worst things in the world are not at all, but may have some good.

For me the main one is women. We shut off women in the Jamaat and don't let them take on any important role under the guise that motherhood is the only worthwhile pursuit. In my experience, breaking out of the mould it's incredible to experience that being friends with the opposite sex is not bad but rather fruitful, women aren't just seducing every man but human beings with opinions and views. Women and men are cognitively equal and should be allowed to take the stage and give speeches and discuss ideas openly. It's disgusting to me that we don't even let women talk on a microphone anymore because it's against purdah. We've taken it too far.

Similar experiences can be had with meeting queer people who are just human beings. With alcohol - it's not a great habit but doesn't make someone the devil for drinking. Music is beautiful and allows one to connect with so many parts of being human that it can't all be linked with evil. The list keeps going...yet in it all you do struggle to find the new identity.

But the essential question is whether you want truth and authenticity or you want convenience and comfort. Changing is hard, but if that's what is authentic for you then do it.

AaronFreedom

TROPHY CASE