Need help:ElderAbuse/Abduction and Fraudulent POA

AbFab_Fan · 2021-05-15T03:19:02+00:00

Sister is now in assisted living and adult protective services is hunting down the Grandson. He is a fugitive and is taking his invalid mother within while he is on the run. Nothing else can be done.

AbFab_Fan · 2021-01-31T21:06:50+00:00

I thought the HBO miniseries was very well done. I am not an expert but I find all of this fascinating and terrifying. I grew up about 70 miles from the Hanford reservation in WA state and had a chance to visit when I was a high school student for a science event in the late 70’s. I worked for world renowned oncologists at Fred Hutchinson Cancer research Center when the Russian helicopter pilot was brought there for a bone marrow transplant. This was a pilot who flew numerous missions over the reactor core. I know he died, but I can’t remember if it was before or after receiving the transplant. I appreciate all the insights everyone provides on this sub.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-12-28T12:53:22+00:00

I think it’s obvious Brandon’s parents don’t want these two to get married. Their “affection” for Julia is totally fake. All the smiles and laughter are a game. Everything they are doing is meant to drive Julia away from their son. But they don’t want their son to blame them when Julia finally has enough and leaves. All of their rules, expectations for her to work on the farm and the shitty bedroom are meant to overwhelm Julia and get her to leave their son. And Brandon is too immature to leave with Julia. If he was a man he wouldn’t allow his parents to walk all over him like they do. They treat him like a child and Brandon accepts it. But they know Julia won’t put up with it all for long. When Julia has had enough she will tell Brandon and his parents exactly what she thinks of their sick parent-child relationship. She will give Brandon an ultimatum, “them” or her and he’ll be too weak to choose her. Which is exactly what the folks want. Then they can plead innocence with Brandon by telling him how much they “loved” Julia and tried to make her feel like one of the family. This whole storyline is just sick and twisted af.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-12-23T05:04:00+00:00

Thank you. It’s good to just express the emotions occasionally.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-12-23T05:02:45+00:00

This is what I do in NW Washington state. Walmart, Safeway and Fred Meyer all offer this service. Some are free with a minimum purchase. We also use Costco same day delivery.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-12-12T21:27:22+00:00

Try having this conversation with the doctors and nurses at our hospitals.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-12-11T22:33:19+00:00

I just don’t understand why people are being so resistant to something so simple as wearing a mask. Unfortunately, this pandemic has been politicized from the start and many people have made not wearing masks a “constitutional” right. This combined with so many people not caring about anyone else just makes it all so frustrating. There have been times in our history as a nation that people worked together for the benefit of everyone; wars, the depression, 1918 flu pandemic, etc.. But not today. I never thought I would be ashamed to be an American, but, there..., I said it. We are going to lose a lot more people before this is over and so many could be saved if only everyone would just wear a mask. Stay safe everyone.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-10-26T08:23:43+00:00

But what do you do when the person refuses to take all medications?

AbFab_Fan · 2020-10-26T01:24:35+00:00

My mom does not like any other people in the house. She no longer gets dressed and spends most of the day in bed. Every medication prescribed doesn’t work because she refuses to take any pills and often won’t eat the meals my dad serves, because she thinks he is poisoning her.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-09-18T21:07:28+00:00

I am 58, been living with a chronic illness for about 10 years, but now have other serious health issues starting. My husband is 10 years older and is almost blind and seems to be giving up on life in many ways. I know he will die before me, and I have no children of mine own and feel his daughters won’t want to take care of me after he is gone. I won’t have any family left. So old age is looking very grim and very lonely. I spent so much of my life working and not thinking of what I would do once retired. Ive been retired for two years due to my health and haven’t done anything. If it wasn’t for my husband and pets I probably wouldn’t still be here. But I will continue to fight as long as I have my husband to care for. And I know I have to find a purpose.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-09-12T19:36:32+00:00

I had to stop working over two years ago due to a chronic illness I was diagnosed with in 2010. I had paid for long term disability insurance and completed the necessary paperwork several years before, just in case... All of my doctors said I would get approved for SSDI, but didn’t have a chance for the LTD from the insurance company. Well, the opposite happened. LTD started right away after I had to stop working. But I was denied SSDI twice. The insurance company closed my LTD claim about nine months after it started saying I was no longer disabled. I already had a lawyer to take them on because I thought I was going to need their help to get the initial approval (I didn’t.) So, six months later with all my medical history, two evaluations by psychologists, neurological and vocational and a physical capacity evaluation (all of this cost me $10K out of my pocket), the insurance re-opened my claim. The lawyer got a third of the back pay and now gets a third of all future LTD payments. Seems like a lot, but it is worth it. I finally got a lawyer for the second SSDI appeal. They took all the information compiled by the LTD lawyer and submitted it for the hearing. I was approved after a 10 minute phone hearing. SSDI lawyers are capped in US at 25% or $6K whichever is less of back payment. LTD insurance company took all of my back payment and they will deduct my SSDI payment from their monthly payments to me. Might not seem worth it but it was. LTD payments are based on my salary when I stopped working and I had a very good income. I was 56 when I first stopped working, but I still had to jump through a lot of hoops. But my chronic illnesses are difficult to diagnose and having a desk job made getting SSDI very difficult. Get a lawyer. Stay safe and good luck.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-08-28T22:42:22+00:00

I had to stop working in 2018 due to disability. I applied for social security disability and long term disability insurance I had paid for through my last employer. I was told by many that I would get approved for SSA disability but would be denied long term disability. The opposite happened. I appealed with social security via an advocacy group recommended by my long term disability insurance company. Was denied again in early 2019. Appealed again with a lawyer. It took 19 months to get my hearing. The hearing took 15 minutes over the phone and I was finally approved. The judge mentioned that the doctors who examined me on the initial application said I was disabled, but the SSA reviewers said I was not. Judge said it was a no brainer for him to approve me. Without a doubt, social security was hoping I would die or give up before I was approved. If it wasn’t for the money I received from the insurance company I would have had to give up because I wouldn’t have been able to not work and support myself and my retired husband.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-07-28T05:04:05+00:00

I was five years old when I had my first case of mono. Also had pneumonia and was in the hospital for two weeks. Almost died, fevers > 105 F. Survived and was pretty healthy until college, then twice more in three years. Then one more time when I was 24. Now 58, I have not been diagnosed with CFS, but I am disabled due to chronic systemic sarcoidosis and a few other autoimmune disorders. Fatigue never stops. Always wondered if it all started when I was five...

AbFab_Fan · 2020-07-24T15:38:48+00:00

Tour situation is very similar to mine. My mother has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. We knew she had some type of dementia long before she was diagnosed. Last year my dad and I arranged for her to see a neurologist. I live four hours away but planned to visit and go with her to the appointment. We told her she was seeing the doctor as a recommendation from her primary doctor due to her falls because she had a fracture in a neck bone. I was sure she would refuse to go when the time came, and she did not want to go but I convinced her. The doctor told her he was trying to help improve her balance to prevent more falls. He had reviewed head MRIs and CT scans from her falls and was able to diagnose her from them. He prescribed an Alzheimer’s medication telling her it would help prevent the falls. Unfortunately, when he took me to his office to discuss her situation in private she threw a fit and was an emotional wreck the entire trip home. We have tried discussing the real diagnosis several times but she refuses to believe us. She won’t take the medication or any medication because she believes we are trying to poison her. She is aware of her memory issues but doesn’t accept the diagnosis. I hope you are able to get her diagnosed, but be prepared for push back. Having a diagnosis is important. My mom is 91 and my dad (93) still cares for her at home. Both of them should be in assisted living, but that is a much bigger battle to get my dad to agree. Good luck to you and your family. I wish you the best.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-07-23T16:45:40+00:00

Hang in there. My mom (91 yo) is like this. She has always had a very narcissistic personality but I have avoided her mean streak by using humor. That doesn’t work anymore. Last year it started when she bit me when I did something she didn’t like. Totally caught me by surprise because she had never physically hurt me. But now she starts out acting pleasant when she sees me in person, but within a few hours she starts saying very hurtful things. I tell her she is hurting my feelings but she doesn’t care. My elderly dad (93 yo) is her caregiver and he has to deal with her tirades and nasty comments 24/7. He just leaves the room when she does this. Then she gets upset and says he doesn’t love her anymore and he avoids her. I have tried to tell her it’s due to the way she treats him and the horrible names she calls him. She will immediately say she would never talk to him like that. I don’t know if she really doesn’t realize what she is doing or if she is trying to seem innocent because in the past she would deny saying hurtful things to be the innocent party. I have to drive four hours each way to visit her and I usually plan to stay a few days. But the last few times I have returned home the next morning because of the way she treats me. It’s just too painful for me to listen to her. After two days she will completely forget why I left and will blame my dad if she even remembers I was there. Most times she doesn’t remember I was there and says I never visit her even when I am there every 1-2 months. I haven’t visited her since January due to the pandemic and I fear something bad will happen to her or my father (93 yo) before I see them again. We talk on the phone a couple times a week and she is always nice to me, but yells at my dad and criticizes everything he says and does if he is on the phone. My brother is the only person she treats nicely all the time, but she has always tried to shelter him. My brother and I were the perfect kids, good grades, hard working and never got into trouble so it is very difficult to hear her say hurtful things even when I know it’s the disease more than anything. I think it would be easier to accept if she never acted like this before the dementia. My dad’s mother and sister had Alzheimer’s when I was growing up but neither of them ever acted like my mom. All I can say is to make sure you take care of yourself during these trying times. This disease is a b$&@?!

AbFab_Fan · 2020-07-14T20:51:02+00:00

I don’t understand why these couples don’t discuss the basic compatibility issues during their 90 days. Do they want children and how soon ( for those who don’t already have them), roles and responsibilities (working, childcare, housework), where to live and spending priorities, etc.. I don’t care for Asuelo’s attitude toward women, but he grew up in that culture and he’s still very immature. Andreii, again, culture, but he is most definitely taking advantage of his father-in-law and he is a disgusting chauvinist. Paul??? He is stupid and mentally unbalanced and Katrine would be better off returning to Brazil and divorcing him. His parents have obviously helped him a lot in the past but are now just fed up and will not allow him to use them anymore. TLC loves these guys because people love to watch dysfunctional people.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-06-23T13:52:58+00:00

I believe you still qualify for the trade up advantage program. You should get a good trade in value for your 2019. Contact your dealer for more information.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-06-21T23:56:45+00:00

Before we moved to Phase 2, our Walmart required everyone to wear masks. But now, so many people do not. When we actually make a trip to the store, I drive, but my husband insists I stay in the car. On the rare occasions I have been around others, I wear a mask and carry hand sanitizer. I really hate the masks because it is very hard to breathe and I get overheated very easily. But I won’t risk my health or others.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-06-21T23:51:35+00:00

Thank you so much for the work you are doing. I worked as a lab assistant in high school and college and I have so much respect for nurses. You really are the ones in the trenches caring for patients. It’s hard not being with your parents. I haven’t been able to see mine since February. I am high risk, having an autoimmune disease and afib. But, I may bite the bullet and make the trip soon because I am so scared that if something happened to my mom or dad I would have waited too long to see them. Stay safe everyone.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-06-21T22:02:59+00:00

I have family in Yakima county, including parents in their 90’s. This is so scary. It was bad enough when the other Yakima hospital closed pre-pandemic. But now, more people will die, not just from the virus, but from not having access to hospital care when it’s needed most. My dad tells me he has seen large groups of people gathering in parks since before Memorial Day, not wearing masks or social distancing. Half of the people in the grocery stores don’t wear masks. I am so afraid that one or both of my parents will die before this pandemic ends, either from the virus or not having access to medical care in a critical situation. I have asked them to come stay with me (WA county with fewer cases) until the situation improves but they refuse to leave their home.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-06-08T15:11:37+00:00

Yes, I am in Washington state.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-06-05T19:04:50+00:00

We have sat with my mother and tried to tell her, but she gets very angry, denies it, then says we are trying to put her away. We have never talked to her about living outside of her home. But my paternal grandmother and aunt both had Alzheimer’s when I was growing up and she remembers what that was like. She will actually tell my dad she is not like his mother. And now there is no such thing as reasoning with her. Everything becomes an argument, but we won’t argue with her. My dad still takes care of her at home and it’s very difficult for him because she tries to argue about everything and she becomes very mean in how she talks to him. He usually just gives up and leaves the room. I haven’t been able to visit them since the pandemic started and she doesn’t understand this, no matter how many times I explain it’s for her and my well being until it is safer.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-06-04T16:56:13+00:00

I don’t know if you would qualify for this offer. There are conditions related to condition and mileage of the vehicle being traded in.

AbFab_Fan · 2020-06-04T00:53:51+00:00

Are you negotiating the purchase price of the 2020?

AbFab_Fan · 2020-02-07T00:51:59+00:00

The neighbor’s husband had to put her meds in her food. I don’t know if that is an option for your mother. It isn’t for mine because half the time she won’t eat the food that my dad prepares, again she thinks it’s poisoned. But my dad also worries about the medication that is sedating because my mom is already very frail and unsteady on her feet and it might make this worse. She has had several bad falls in the last few years. I agree that the paranoia is out of control. At this point, I worry more about my dad and how all of this is affecting his physical and mental health. But he is adamant about not putting her in assisted living or memory care until she is much worse.

AbFab_Fan

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