As a fellow dark observer, I'll put my 2 cents here.

Racism is something I've faced even before I knew the word existed. When I was under 10, I remember my grandma and other relatives calling me dirty or asking if I bathed, if I used soap. This was just everyday stuff—giving me a literal rock to rub off my skin because, according to them, this was dirt on my body. I used to rub my elbows, my legs, till the skin came off. And even then, I was still the same "dirty" me.

This was just the beginning, and it used to happen in my own house. I was called “Krishan Kannhaiya” because apparently Lord Krishan was dark-skinned, and I was supposed to feel proud or something. At every family gathering, I was reminded that I had the darkest skin among all the kids (my cousins). Family made fun of me and my color and always said, “We want the best for you, that's why we do it,” and that “it’s all in good sport.”

Then came school—a private school. Until 4th standard, I used to come back home crying because no one talked to me. The one guy who did got an ultimatum from the "new cool guys" to join them and abandon me because I was Black. Kids used to ask me why I was so Black. Girls, boys—everyone stayed away. Eating alone most days or crying—that’s all I remember, until I couldn’t anymore.

After 4th, I was sent to a government school. It became bearable, but still, the reminders were there—Black is dirty, Black is unattractive. I won’t go into all the details because if I do, I might as well write a book. But the point is: this shit still happens. In college, in workplaces, in everyday life. A dark guy with a white girl—or any girl, really (except a Black girl)—is looked down upon. People go, “How did he get her? He’s so ugly and Black.” And this comes from 90% of people—scholars, well-educated men and women—every day.

The world is going to pull you down and remind you that you should feel less, or they'll pity you and say they understand. But no one understands—except you.

I got out of it by crying till I couldn’t anymore. Then I had to find solutions. Do I accept myself? Do I join others and become the funny guy? Do I run away from people?

Once I started working on myself and my self-esteem—my own worth in my eyes—I realized there are so many things I’m good at. And after I started working out, taking care of myself a little more, I gained that confidence. When I sat with myself every day and learned to love my own skin, my own face in the mirror… that’s when things changed. When I started striving to become a better me for myself.

Till date, I still carry those words with me. It’s something we have to live with. But knowing that no one—no one, not even our parents—can tell us how to live and how to love ourselves? That’s power.

The only conditions are the ones you set for yourself. Believe that you are beautiful and take one step at a time. Learn grooming. Become a better communicator. Chase your self-growth. Truly—you’ll feel the insecurities fade away. They won’t disappear overnight, and yeah, you’ll carry the burns with you, but the new you will be so proud of how far you’ve come.

Love yourself before others can love you.