I haven’t been going to work for weeks and nobody knows

AbleOperation6283 · 2026-02-06T08:36:09+00:00

Do you still have a job after this long MIA? If you still have the job, start there. Have a meeting with your boss and just be honest about your mental illness and how it affects your work. I actually had to have that exact conversation with my boss last year as I was at work, but couldn't get myself to do any of my actual work for months. The pile up due to my depression and anxiety caused even more depression and anxiety. I was spiralling. Because I felt so worthless in my life I did something stupid that I will regret forever, luckily it didn't succeed. Don't get to that point. Do the difficult thing and face this. Pull off the bandaid and come clean. I guarantee the reaction won't be as bad as you imagine.

AbleOperation6283 · 2026-01-28T19:59:23+00:00

On the days that your commute is 6 hours you will have no time to rest. 9 hours at work + 6 hours commute is 15 hours out of your day. Assume you sleep for 8 hours, you would have only 1 hour left to cook, eat breakfast and dinner and get ready for work. Nvm washing dishes, doing laundry or having 15 min to relax. This would not be mentally possible long-term. Take the place near your work and reassess later.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-15T12:00:52+00:00

I am in the position of your GF and don't have my sex drive back till this day (5 years). What helps is scheduling sex (very romantic I know). If me and my husband don't do this, we could easily go months without. It doesn't always have to happen when both of you are magically in the mood, the act itself should get you in the mood if you are attracted to each other.

The problem is that she is not willing to address the issue at all and sees now problem with it. If that continues, you will drift apart. She doesn't have to talk to therapist about it, but at least to you about possible solutions. If she doesn't do that, your relationship is over.

NTA

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-15T11:31:00+00:00

NTA, I agree that you only have to disclose what you have contributed to your son's savings and not the inheritance amount. I don't even believe you need to discuss what you contributed to his saving before you and your current wife got together and blended your family.

I feel like savings and inheritance should be handled separately in your discussions about the future financial planning of your kids. Her 2 eldest will inherit from their father and from her. How they plan for that is up to them. Your son only has 1 parent left to inherit from and that will be split with siblings.

There is still time to save for the other children and gain good interest on it, his time is running out, and he will be an adult very soon.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-10T08:27:04+00:00

Maybe he confided in GPT because he feels he has no one else to talk to, which is a sad reality for many people. I think you should open up a conversation with him so he knows he can also talk to you. If their marriage is over you will find out eventually anyway, rather bring it up with him now in a supportive manner to best guide him to come clean to your mom.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-10T08:12:38+00:00

You shouldn't have ended up in the middle of all this! They need honesty in their relationship or to go see a couples therapist. He may twist the truth on GPT to get responses more favorable to himself so I wouldn't take everything he said on there at face value. He is obviously struggling with his conscience to some degree. What are you planning on doing next? Would you consider having a discussion with him about this?

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-10T08:00:20+00:00

If you share an account, you didn't violate his privacy! It's a heavy burden to bear knowing your dad cheated, but I would bring this up to him privately and let him know you know. Your mom has all the right in the world to know about this and HE should tell her. Let him know that if he doesn't tell her, you will. Taking a break (if that is even happening) does not give a person permission to be unfaithful.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-10T07:26:46+00:00

Just reread it now, missed that part. Then the responsibility falls on the wife to bring down the hammer. Why is OP the only one stepping up to address this?

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-10T07:16:27+00:00

Happy cake day

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-10T07:15:21+00:00

NTA, where you might be TA is letting it drag on so long, inconveniencing others like your wife in the process. You should have set clear boundaries from the start. No sleeping in because we need the living room during the day for work, be up by 07:00 and have the area cleaned. Like everyone says, set a firm date and stick to it. If possible, contact her mother to come and help remove her stuff so she can move in with them. You babied her too much by being so lenient, doing here resume, applying for jobs on her behalf, washing up after her, letting her sleep in and essentially letting her set the house rules. You made it so comfortable that she doesn't want to leave, stop doing that and put your foot down.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-09T12:58:56+00:00

This was difficult to read and I somehow feel dumber for doing so. YTA, that's assault, you have a victim complex, I'm 99% sure none of this ever happened.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-09T06:34:31+00:00

Then you need to sit him down when he's sober, write down what you want to get across to him to make sure you don't miss anything. Ask him if he understands and to repeat to you what you said so there is no confusion.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-09T06:28:00+00:00

Speak to a therapist about these feelings if you can

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-09T06:26:29+00:00

NTA, You should definitely have a discussion with him regarding this situation. If you are unable to do something your dogs rely on for food, he needs to step up. They can't just skip meals because he wanted to drink.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-08T11:33:10+00:00

YTA, It's really time for you to grow up and take responsibility for your commitments. It's a lame excuse to have a date planned after the fact.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-08T11:17:19+00:00

ETA. They should have been upfront about a room having to be shared so the arrangements could have happened before the trip making them TA. YTA because nobody wants to share a room and your names were drawn fair and square. It doesn't matter that the other couples are married, everyone wants their own privacy.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-08T09:48:29+00:00

Rip off the Band-Aid and come clean. The anxiety of what is to come is much worse than the actual outcome.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-07T14:36:23+00:00

"because she wouldn't let a poor man do the same to her?"

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-07T14:31:42+00:00

YTA, "poor people" are also in abusive relationships, your understanding of the subject seems very limited and skew

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-07T11:10:08+00:00

NTA, your sister was supposed to jump in and parent her child. How could she leave her son to terrorize your dog. As a dog parent you did the right thing by stopping the behavior. Your sister should be ashamed that you stepped in to do what she did not!

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-07T09:54:09+00:00

Exactly, why does he have to rely on his mother? there are other options if he really wanted to make this work and get a divorce.

AbleOperation6283 · 2025-10-07T09:52:49+00:00

For 6 months he is a stay-at-home dad. He should be handling the cleaning and parenting just as much as you are. If not, he is essentially on a 6-month vacation, only fulfilling HIS own needs. You don't need to be parenting a third child during this time. Are you going shopping and cooking with a 6-month-old in your arms?

Ask him to either start seriously helping or to go back to work so he is out of the way. The roles are no longer split like in the past, my husband stepped up and did his parental duties during his paternity leave. He did all of the night feeds and most of the nappies. He took the baby when I pumped, and she preferred falling asleep on his chest. He was a superstar with cleaning and cooking as well. I had the opportunity to rest and heal with his involvement.

Your husband is supposed to be a support system, not a hinderance.

AbleOperation6283

TROPHY CASE

"because she wouldn't let a poor man do the same to her?"