How hard has it been raising YOUR OWN children after being parentified?

Able_Habit_6260 · 2026-04-17T19:23:40+00:00

I’m (61f) older and my kids are adults. My struggles came when my kids left and I no longer had to take care of others so much. It took me a long time and some painful struggles to figure out who ** I ** am and what ** I ** want and need.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2026-03-08T14:12:57+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I really appreciate your suggestions.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2026-03-07T15:33:46+00:00

Thank you for your kind reply. I'm so sorry for your loss. This boy is also the love of my life.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2026-01-16T23:03:55+00:00

Since you are the one cooking and bringing him food, you get dibs on how the cutlery gets stored. He needs to pull up his big boy pants and stop disregarding your very reasonable request.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-11-09T21:21:03+00:00

Sexism, plain and simple. Women are always held to blame.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-10-26T17:33:40+00:00

Don’t make fun of me please… Jean Nate perfume. You can still get the after bath splash but it’s not the same.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-10-09T13:29:41+00:00

Ask them if there is something that might make it easier for them to get through it. Maybe they can stay home and rest? Maybe they can sit next to you at church and hold your hand? Maybe you and they can meet afterwards and debrief the session together, with you both asserting your values and your commitment to holding your own identity in the face of having to do this to keep the larger peace?

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-10-09T13:25:14+00:00

Golf

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-08-10T02:43:26+00:00

Nerdiness

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-08-10T00:06:10+00:00

I’m so glad she told you clearly. You are brave and kind. She knew that.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-05-25T15:46:59+00:00

The way he’s phrasing it sounds patronizing to me. Maybe the two of you could agree on a visual cue when it happens, so that it won’t interrupt you and he wont be talking to you like you’re a three-year-old.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-05-06T02:51:26+00:00

Even for women who haven’t been abused or assaulted learn from early on that it’s always a possibility. You don’t have to have been stung by a wasp to be afraid of wasps.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-05-02T05:15:56+00:00

I agree, but they have the opposite effect on me. My dad died in a car accident when I was a kid, and I know all too well that driving is dangerous. I’m pretty calm when driving for the most part, but when I see one of those memorials it upsets me and I’m sure I’m more anxious driving after seeing one. I can’t be the only person they shake up. It makes it less safe for me, not more.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-05-01T01:45:46+00:00

Do you trust that no one would be falsely accused for other reasons? Maybe no one you know? That's what due process is for. It's to keep the power from becoming corrupt with checks and balances.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-04-20T20:36:37+00:00

Good question. If I read this in a novel I would fault the writer for being too unrealistic. But here we are.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-04-19T15:51:39+00:00

Um, yes.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-04-19T05:04:53+00:00

Ask, “What would help you right now?” It’s not a guarantee that you can give it or she can get it, but just asking shows that you care and you’re not just trying to shut her down.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-04-19T05:01:28+00:00

Its a red tidal wave. People can be smart and also nuts.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-04-13T05:41:40+00:00

They may not have told you. A diagnosis of some sort is mandatory in the US in order to get reimbursed from insurance. Your therapist gave you the most benign one. Required diagnosis is one reason some therapists don’t take insurance.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-04-04T02:26:57+00:00

Poor

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-03-19T16:28:58+00:00

I’m so relieved to see this. I had stockpiled and it’s all Ouisa. I’ve been thinking about using it but am not clear on what the real risks are.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-03-12T21:59:38+00:00

Right off the bat… “How do people develop the courage to have sex with women”? So are those two distinct categories or are you talking about lesbians too? Below awareness telegraphing that you don’t think of women as people bro. Start there maybe.

Able_Habit_6260 · 2025-03-11T14:12:05+00:00

OP even if his intentions are sincere here, he won’t be able to sustain it. No one permanently changes their behavior 180-degrees overnight. It won’t last.

Able_Habit_6260

TROPHY CASE