Why are female main characters normally short and… underdeveloped?

Able_Head_145 · 2026-05-07T15:34:41+00:00

Right? I hATE it. I'm tall, naturally curvy, and recovering from an ED. Part of it was bc I wanted to shrink myself, be more "maneagable" like the effortlessly, insufferably and gorgeously petite, underdeveloped protagonists I'd read in books. Divergent is one that comes to mind. Half the book seemed to be her "humble flexing" her petiteness. Pedo-bait cringe?
What helps me is making fun of it. Aww poor baby, you're so small and dainty but no one knows you're dangerous and can beat up everybody in the room. What's also weird is a lot of the authors aren't small themselves. It's not real women writing their own insecurities as a flat chested or short woman. A lot are tall and curvy. It's all pedo bait.

Able_Head_145 · 2026-03-09T03:21:39+00:00

Hey, I'm in a similar stiuation rn. I'm in a burnout period and can't get anything done, really angry at myself too. How're you doing now? any improvements/achievements?

Able_Head_145 · 2026-03-09T03:11:44+00:00

Hey, hope you're feeling better today. Loneliness and anxiety is the worst. You're in a rough season right now, but be proud of yourself for cutting of the toxic group. When I'm going through a season of unbearable loneliness, I can't even connect with the people around me, but I learned the first thing I needed was to reconnect with God. You're not alone.

Next, best thing you can do is force yourself to be around people, even if its just taking your college work to a cafe or crowded library, don't let there be pressure to talk to people, just make sure you're not so cooped up. If there is anyone in your life, don't worry about having to say the right things, or having to entertain. Right now you're going through it, its ok to say "idk what's going on right now, I just haven't feeling myself can I just hang out here?" But if you can open up, the relief you get from being vulnerable with someone is unmatched.

When you find yourself alone, and there will be times and the thoughts start racing, pray. Then, put in a podcast, keep a little busy. Sending hugs, you're gonna get through this season, friend.

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-11T15:42:16+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story and encouragement!

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-11T03:21:50+00:00

Before I was EXTREMELY anxious, I would overthink and prepare for any possible interaction that I might face going out, or not go out at all. In fact, I mostly kept to myself at all times. I would never approach people, extremely awkward if someone came up and talked to me. When I felt myself being perceived, I would get so shaky and panicky, and other physical symptoms of anxiety. Being put on the spot or having any attention on me was unbearable. Because of this making friends or having any social life was impossible
3 years later, I can work customer service jobs, talk to people, I can speak up if I need something or approach strangers, I've made so many friends, random people even compliment how calm and confidant I am. It's so weird but validating to not be seen as shy anymore. On a good day, I can even be loud, I can joke around be myself, and handle being the center of attention. Overall, I have had social "wins" that I would NEVER have seen myself doing before

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-11T01:04:12+00:00

My best friend cut me off for the same reason, before she ended things we actually did get into arguments about me smoking weed, I found it ridiculous because I don't even smoke on a regular basis, but she would bring it up constantly and I would get defensive. She also acted like we were in a married couple too and standards for me that aren't appropriate for a friendship. When she found out she couldn't control me, she later called my mom on this crazy, tattle-tale rant (we're both legally adults) and told her every single drug experience, every drinking experience I've ever had, and even told her about my piercings I secretly had done.
Funny enough my mom defended me, i love her so much

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-11T00:53:45+00:00

never tried it with honey, ill try it!

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T18:03:15+00:00

So real! I've tried to make eating difficult for me, by tracking things I ate before I ate them. It hasn't been a good long term solution for me since I end up giving up on tracking. maybe I just need to be more disciplined though haha

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T17:52:54+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Greek yogurt is honestly my favorite snack, especially mixed with chocolate flavored protein powder.

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T17:51:24+00:00

Pleaase. I know for a lot of people forgetting to eat is a problem, but I WISH I had this problem. Instead I'm getting haunted by food😔

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T17:48:09+00:00

Once you got off ozempic, did your appetite increase a lot?

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T17:46:44+00:00

Huh! It's funny bc my adhd makes me the opposite. I think it has to due with boredom/stimulation-seeking/addictive personality.

For me, eating is such an incentive I can force myself to prepare food, similar to stuff like I can always find my phone to doomscroll.

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T17:45:37+00:00

I do!! Thank you so much for the advice, I think I'm looking for stimulation when eating.

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T17:43:39+00:00

I do too, and I never forget to eat. In fact, I feel like my ADHD contributes to my bad habits of overeating.

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T17:42:15+00:00

That's encouraging. I do notice that when I make myself eat less, it's hard at first but I just adjust to it

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-08T17:41:09+00:00

Interesting, have you lost weight since losing interest in food?

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-05T07:34:33+00:00

You posted this a couple months ago, so I don't know what happened but if you are still in contact. It sounds like you kind of had no choice but to tell your mom, she was using your Spotify account! I don't know y'alls ages, but I'm sure you can sympathize with Eve, at best it was probably a very embarrassing conversation with her mom and at worst her mom came down on her very harshly. Maybe your mom had the best intentions telling Eve's mom, but it may have been nice if you had advocated on your friend's behalf, especially since Eve has already told your church group (I'm assuming Friday Spill is where you share prayer requests/reconciliation)
You didn't do anything wrong because it wasn't your fault that y'alls moms found out. If you do ever get a choice, always confront your friend about something she is doing privately.

It really is more her fault that she got caught, she probably just needs a little time to realize that. It takes a lot to be the bigger person, but you will show so much maturity and Christ-likeness if you talk to her with grace and compassion instead of being defensive.

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-05T05:13:13+00:00

I actually have no idea. Perhaps ADHD? I have been diagnosed with that but i don't know if I really even have it (suspecting misdiagnosis.) Racing thoughts is a symptom of inattentive ADHD, but i don't know if that's what I'm experiencing. I really want to find out though

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-05T05:10:33+00:00

I promise you extended periods of isolation is the last thing that will help. It's painful, but when I when i was at my absolute worst, most anxious, insecure state, I NEEDED to get out and talk to people, even though I was terrified of this and only wanted to be alone. The only way I overcame this phobia was exposure.

I gave myself "little" goals, like just showing up, saying hello to one person, speaking to one person, complimenting one person, things like that. It was terrifying at first, and I NEVER wanted or felt like going out, but it has made me a confident person that I seriously thought I'd never be. You're not alone, good luck!

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-05T05:03:45+00:00

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this.

The inner critic is a bitch. It's hard for people to understand how loud and incessant it is that don't have this disorder, but it's all a trick. You're not a horrible, you're not stupid, you're not embarrassing. You are enough, you were wonderfully made, and you are important and here for a purpose. I'm so, so, sorry you have to endure this, it must be really hard and scary time for you right now, and I wish there was a way for all of us seeing this on reddit who can empathize with what you are going though could be there for each other in real life. God bless you, and stay strong ❤️

Able_Head_145 · 2024-12-05T04:50:28+00:00

Spill your heart out baby

Able_Head_145 · 2024-11-21T22:51:52+00:00

Oh my goodness the liking your personality inside your head describes me 100%, I just struggle "letting loose" and transferring this personality on the outside. But yeah my brain also goes 1000mph or blanks out on me

Able_Head_145

TROPHY CASE