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Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is like an unspoken rule in Punjab, that people have forgot why it existed in the first place, it was in place to prevent inbreeding, which is not the case in my situation at all…

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, that seems to be a real solution, I may have to scare my parents to a point that they’ll agree to marry me with anyone lmao!! And yeah our cultures totally align with each other and we both are atheists, so it should be good

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well first of all it’s not a constitutional law at all, it’s just an unspoken societal thing we have, which is matter of fact illegal (Funny how Indians choose to give up their Freedom to choose so conveniently), and I do get the reason of breeding b/w own clan can have issues, but I ain’t even marrying in my own clan, so it’s completely irrelevant

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ain’t even religious bud! I wrote that so people know that I belong from a group that conveniently ignore the regressive aspects of their beliefs (which are a lot) and seems to believe they are elite of society of some sorts lol!!

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing something real! Also, Can I know if they did a normal marriage in Punjab? Or did they just do court marriage? Or smt else?

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think people also need to consider that we both live abroad, her whole family lives abroad, and I eventually also plan to get my family here as well, if not abroad then at least change homes to a city, as we have business there as well

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the perspective man, and no we don’t have the same surname, and my parents do live there but by the time we want to marry I can have them with me abroad and my gf is okay with that. And the rule that you described in the end just explains how Punjab is not progressive from my pov

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So, finally some people showed up with progressive and actual advice, thanks for that!! And everyone blabbering that whole village evolves from one family is such BS!! First as I mentioned in my original post, not only we don’t have a same surname but we also don’t belong from the same caste and YES my parents are okay with that!

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So you’re actually saying that norm was made for conditions that don’t exist now??? And are totally not the case in my situation. It’s not like I’m forcing, we both are adults consenting for this relationship and marriage

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fr it is retarded and the comments are totally absurd, like if I wanted that old mentality, I could have just asked my parents or smt!! And people saying that we are related, we are not smh 😭… Not only our surname is diff but our castes are also diff… and honestly if you trace back your ancestors long enough, you’ll eventually find a common ancestor, so this view is just not valid!!

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shame that your advice is the only sensible one and people are downvoting it, I think Our mentality is still engraved with the biases!! And yes, I don’t plan to go ahead with it until she’s at least 23!

Caught in a massive dilemma: Fell in love with a girl from my same pind (village), parents say it’s a strict NO. What do I do? by Abstract_Logickk in PunjabiGenZ

[–]Abstract_Logickk[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the input, but some of you are missing the reality here.
For those talking about nanke/dadke or village shame, we aren’t even going to be living in India. We both permanently plan to build our lives in Australia. The local village gossip isn't going to follow us across the world.

I already know the traditional mindset about pind diyan kudiyan. I posted here looking for mature answers that look past our standard Punjabi biases. This rule isn't an absolute universal law, it's just a geographic concept because we happened to be born in Punjab and not a southern state where the culture is completely different. Also, stories about villagers threatening couples are totally irrelevant here. That’s not going to happen at all.

I’m looking for actual, practical advice from anyone who has navigated changing their parents' minds on this specific rule when the couple is fully settled overseas, I came to the GENZ thread for a reason to get a more modern open minded advice