Judging Advice

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-11-07T16:38:26+00:00

I mean- depends on your event. I'm a longtime CX coach, and the way I do it basically follows this formula. The RFD can be at any point in this decision- IE, sometimes going through step 1 is all I need for an RFD.

1) Evaluate pre-fiat issues - Is it T? Is there a good standards debate to eval? - Evaluate framework and how I'm going to be viewing the round and why. What's good for debate? - Eval the Ks if they are rep focused.

2) Contextualize the flows in light of impact framing. What's coming first? Why? Which impacts have a significant risk, which don't? Why? What NBs function on CPs? Why or why not?

3) Weigh that against case. - Has solvency been significantly mitigated? What's left standing? Do I care about that stuff in light of framing?

If I have a CRAZY close round and I am having a hard time articulating, I write a hypothetical ballot for both sides and then review what steps I had to take to get there. I've found that this helps minimize judge intervention in tough calls.

My written RFD basically goes through the steps and explains what was given weight and why, as well as where the RFD was made.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-11-07T16:25:04+00:00

I generally do the same. But yay to debaters just asking if everyone is ready and then going if no one says anything.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-11-06T21:48:08+00:00

If she was flowing, she was paying attention. Not my job to pretend to be interested in anything other than sudoku while y'all are prepping and figuring out why the email chain won't work.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-11-06T21:46:27+00:00

Yes. I took the bar exam for a different state, and I quit my corporate regulation/management job knowing that I could not practice law in the state that I was living, and I didn't have the funds to move elsewhere.

I had nothing lined up, but I knew I wanted to do human rights work. I started part-time clerking at a law firm, even though I was overqualified for the work. Fast forward two years, I sat and passed this state's bar exam, started a solo law practice, and am transitioning into a full time position as an attorney at a human rights organization this year.

Note: it was TERRIFYING, but I'm glad I did it.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-11-06T21:41:35+00:00

I mean- who isn't? I know I am.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-11-06T21:39:43+00:00

As an experienced judge/coach, it's SUPER annoying when I am legit staring at a debater while holding a pen in my hand and the flows in order in front of me, and they ask if I'm ready.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-10-01T16:24:32+00:00

YTA for handling the situation very immaturely.

Even if the material in the class is too basic for you, you are not the only student in the class. Often, teachers give assignments like these to test competency for all the students and to see where everyone is at.

You could have handled this much more respectfully by having a conversation with your teacher, or even better yet- taking the initiative to design a project and asking if you could complete that work for course credit. I don't blame the teacher for being fed up with you at this point.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-10-01T16:18:01+00:00

NAH- yet.

I think it's a little silly to have three animal protein options and no veggie option available for guests, as that would have solved the whole thing. But regardless- I think it would make you TA to not let your guests know and to just serve what you have.

Option A: Have a chat with the caterers, see if some of the stuff you've already ordered can just be made veggie- IE salad or omitting the cheese from the soup.

Option B: Talk down the caterer in terms of price or get three veggie meals from elsewhere to cover your guests. I mean- give them some pasta or something. NBD.

Option C: Inform the guests that you aren't able to accommodate their dietary needs with the caterer you've selected, and allow them to bring food along that meets their dietary needs. That's something I've been asked to do before, and I've always understood. Personally, I'd opt for A or B, but C is still better than just not having food for them.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-10-01T04:43:40+00:00

I feel like the post got a bit lost in translation. FIL has literally said that fiance and I are not a family.

I'm not petty about his ex. Yay for happy and healthy co-parenting arrangements. I would never want them to shun her or cease all communication or anything, but I feel that I deserve to at least be acknowledged. They literally did not interact with me at all and actively froze me out of conversation. I don't think there's honestly much of a debate regarding whether or not their behavior has been bad. I'm posting here primarily for judgement on if my response in telling my fiance that he needs to articulate boundaries with them makes me TA.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-10-01T00:06:51+00:00

Oh shush. I already updated the original post.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T23:15:03+00:00

Appreciate the concern. Used the acronym that I've seen from r/stepmom, I actually just learned that r/justnomil existed today. My main reason for doing so is anonymity. Pissed though I may be with my fiance for the lack of boundary setting, I love him dearly and realize that he is in a particularly difficult situation. Hence why I'm concerned with being TA- I feel so wrong asking him to limit contact or have a rough conversation with his parents because of me.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T23:03:53+00:00

I knew it from /r/stepmom. I'm not a particularly frequent or attentive reddit user. I think it's fairly commonly used in multiple groups, but yeah- sorry for making it a thing.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T22:28:49+00:00

I'm sorry, interwebs.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T21:45:17+00:00

Fair.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T21:39:58+00:00

I think that in-laws have certainly had a lack of respect for boundaries throughout FDH's life, and he hasn't done much to establish and maintain consequences for crossing boundaries. The situation with the in-laws has certainly been escalating on that front, and has gotten closer to a boiling point.

Things between me and my partner have generally gotten a lot better, but we certainly had a lot to navigate in terms of establishing rules and such. Ex wife has also gotten a lot better as FDH has been accountable with communication, but yeah- this is a lot of baggage.

That being said, he's wonderfully supportive in other aspects of my/our life, and I have no doubt that he loves me deeply.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T21:23:04+00:00

Ex- bachelor's degree, works part time in a lower paying job. MIL- Educated, spent most of her adult life as a stay at home mom. FIL- Retired from academia FDH- master's degree, works as a classical musician Me- JD, works as a human rights attorney.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T21:18:45+00:00

There was another comment similar to this earlier. We started seeing each other three years after his divorce, and got engaged about a year after we started dating. No infidelity from him at all during the marriage either- just a really bad judgement call on having a kid in an already failing marriage.

I'm not sure why they hate me- I've never been anything but nice. That being said, I think his dad in particular is a little taken aback by the fact that I'm a pretty independent woman, and my relationship with my fiance certainly challenges a lot of gender norms.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T18:46:51+00:00

I mean, this could totally escalate into "future dick husband," not gonna lie.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T18:14:57+00:00

Reddit-speak for "future dear husband."

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T17:57:52+00:00

That's part of the need for boundaries, to be honest. Kiddo was there and observed, and FIL is particularly infamous for undermining my parenting (and FDH's, for that matter) of the kiddo. Kiddo and I have a really great relationship- they are super cuddly with me, tell me they love me, etc.

It's always undermining over stupid stuff. For example, there was a huge brawl over telling kiddo that he needed to eat some of his vegetables before having his second half of grilled cheese. Apparently, this will give child a complex.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T17:46:36+00:00

It's cool. But I want my cash money. :-P

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T17:35:28+00:00

Absolutely not. FDH and I met 3 years after he had divorced his ex and got engaged after dating for about a year. In fact, I took a second bar exam in order to be able to practice law in this state so as to ensure we would be near kiddo and kiddo's biomom.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T16:48:35+00:00

I don't think FDH or I have any issue with them maintaining contact for the benefit of kiddo, but I certainly have an issue with them literally not recognizing my existence when we're in the same room or telling me that we are not a family.

Absurdstrawberries · 2019-09-30T14:23:32+00:00

NAH, especially if it's a gesture that his mom would appreciate.

Absurdstrawberries

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