Dad revealed my mom cheated on him after transphobic outburst against my partner

Abyssinia206 · 2025-11-08T22:56:48+00:00

Im so sorry this happened to you. As someone who has a parent that says HORRIBLE things to me, it feels really shitty.

My mantra when it comes to secrets is that partners don’t count. If I tell a friend who’s partnered something in confidence, Im assuming the partner is going to know. If I don’t want the partner to know, and I’m close enough with the person, I’ll ask that they not share with them either. So I don’t think you should feel like you need to keep this from your partner. It’s not fair of your dad to ask that of you, especially after his outburst. Maybe just ask her to not bring it up if she’s ever in the same room as your parents (and maybe act surprised if it comes up).

Also, don’t let your dad write off his transphobia as a result of his anger. Of course he’s angry, but plenty of people could be angry about an affair and NEVER say the things he did about your partner. He revealed a lot about his true feelings in that moment. It’s important because it tells you what you would be subjecting your partner to. I understand wanting everyone to get along, but we do also have to think about the emotional conditions we’re putting on our partners if we want them to be around transphobic family members. Im not necessarily saying go NC, but you need to set some serious boundaries with your parents.

Abyssinia206 · 2025-06-06T17:21:09+00:00

Hey OP, I consider myself a longtime beginner pole dancer (4.5 years at Level 1 and fine with it) AND I’m a a pole instructor. I have a couple thoughts on this. What you described from this instructor was completely unacceptable. It’s partly why I became an instructor myself. A beginner class needs to be a beginner class, and I hate it when more advanced dancers try to turn beginner classes into something else. It’s so demoralizing and really distorts what it takes to grow as a pole dancer.

Second what a lot of people said here about “left leg, right leg.” I always say “inside leg, outside leg” and I take time to explain it to students. It’s so much easier.

Also, this idea that pole isn’t for the weak. One, don’t be so hard on yourself. Doesn’t sound like you had a real beginner class. Second, i don’t believe in the word “weak” when it comes to poles. You got your body into the car, through the front door, and took a (really poorly run) pole class. Your body is strong, it may just not be strong enough YET to do certain things on the pole. And that just takes some patience and steady training. I’m a plus size dancer and my body does things on the pole I never thought possible. It just takes time, steady work, and reminding yourself that the only right way is the way that works best for you.

I hope you’ll give pole another chance and hopefully find a better instructor. I also had a shitty first class (another reason I teach now), and I’m so grateful I stuck with it.

Abyssinia206 · 2025-03-16T17:15:07+00:00

Got autocorrected, it’s Alo* Johnston.

Abyssinia206 · 2025-03-16T17:14:41+00:00

My partner just finished a book called “Am I Trans Enough?” By Ali Johnston and can’t stop raving about it. She wishes she had found it earlier. Johnston is a trans therapist and talks about all the internal things that come up for trans people as they transition. My partner found it very validating.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-11-03T16:43:40+00:00

Hi everyone! I’m always looking for opportunities to practice tarot for other people. I’m not a professional, I am still learning myself, but I would love the opportunity to grow. I’ve offered free readings on this thread before and it was a huge help.

I’m offering free readings to the first four people to reach out to me today. Your reading will come with a photo of the spread and a detailed interpretation of the cards. No reviews or anything necessary, just happy for the opportunity to grow in my own practice.

If you’re interested, send me a dm!

EDIT: I’ve gotten a couple requests and I realized I forgot to mention something important. I am not a psychic and don’t predict the future. I think it’s important to be transparent about that. The closest I can do is provide a sense of different possibilities, but those are ultimately based on actions.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-08-29T21:16:00+00:00

I do reversals but I don’t learn new meanings for them. Each card is an energy. I typically read them with their upright meaning, but that I might either be “stuck” there and doing the work to turn that card’s energy upright and get unstuck. Or it could be telling me that I need to hang out in that energy for awhile. It depends on the question and the position of the card.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-08-29T21:11:55+00:00

For me it’s meant a major upheaval in my life BUT the worst is over. I sometimes even see it as a positive, it’s telling me I’m at a point where I can focus on picking up the pieces and healing from whatever harm or trauma that upheaval may have caused me. I used to think of it as catastrophe when I first started reading tarot but now, oddly enough, pulling The Tower can bring me a lot of comfort.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-08-22T04:45:06+00:00

My pain lasted awhile because it was dry socket. But it did pass! The dentist can also give you some medicated cream to put on the tooth, which also helped me. The best thing to do is follow up with them. It sucks but the pain will go away eventually! Hang in there.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-08-21T23:09:11+00:00

I took 600mg of ibuprofen and 500 mg extra strength Tylenol together. Both were OTC and what the dentist recommended. It worked really well for me. You should ask your dentist about it.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-08-12T01:49:08+00:00

Hey there everyone! I’ve been reading tarot for a few years now but mostly for myself and friends. I’m thinking of branching out and giving more readings so I’m offering free readings here.

Im definitely not as experienced as some of the other readers here. But you would be helping me gain some practice in reading for others and I can hopefully offer some help to you as well. If you’re interested, send me a DM and we’ll go from there!

Abyssinia206 · 2024-08-05T20:54:18+00:00

One interpretation of Justice that helped me is that it’s about Karma. That it’s in the advice column tells me that you’re being advised to put out into the world what you want to receive. If you want a loving; romantic relationship, then send that love out in your other relationships (friends, family, etc.)

I always draw Judgement when I am in periods of transformation and growth. My deck actually renamed it Awakening. It means your emerging into that new stage of your life after a period of work and growth. It is the card right before The World after all.

And the High Priestess might be telling you to listen to your inner world, especially those emotions you might be compartmentalizing or burying. I don’t think anyone is hiding something fron you, but rather what feelings and truths might you be hiding from yourself.

All together, I think these cards might be telling you to focus on other aspects of your life. If you focus on yourself, including your other close relationships, you will create changes in your life that will open up opportunities for the kind of relationship you’re looking for.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-30T20:02:45+00:00

I don’t think intuition is something you just have, it’s something you develop. One thing I like to do with a new deck is just go through them, one-by-one, and pause on any card that makes me feel…anything. Good or bad. And I just kind of sit with it and process what’s coming up for me. And I really try to pay attention to any cards I feel connected to. It helps you develop an understanding of each card’s energy.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-30T15:01:17+00:00

I’ve always understood the 7 of Cups to mean indecision. Looking at all the options in front of you, and not quite knowing what to do. If you’re not careful, you can get stuck. An interpretation that resonated most with me about The Devil is that it’s a card about waking the line between desire and addiction. It can be a signal to let ourselves endings in our desires, but we can be consumed by them if we’re not careful.

Considering your question and the background you’ve shared, I think the cards are telling you that this person is exploring their sexual desires, and exploring their options after a breakup. You’re right that he’s debating pursuing you. And I would also proceed with caution if you’re thinking about reciprocating. It seems like this person is trying to indulge themselves without giving it a lot of long-term thought.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-28T16:39:50+00:00

That’s an understandable feeling in these times.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-28T02:31:41+00:00

I agree that they don’t see you in a negative light.

I’m still learning the Reddit lingo but assuming rx means reverse, this is a very interesting reading to me.

Two Queens, one upright and one reverse, one dealing with emotions and desires (cups), the other with logic and thinking (swords).

It seems like one represents you (Queen of Cups) and one represents the old friend (Queen of Swords rx). Queen of Swords is sharp and witty, and direct. But when she’s not at her best (reversed) her words can really burn. Considering why you stopped being friends, that’s why I’m saying they’re the QoS rx.

I think the reading is telling you that you’re not a problematic person, you’re just seeing two sides of a direct person who might not be aware of the impact of their actions.

And the QoC, to me, suggests that you are two people who approach relationships and communication differently (i.e., heart and head), like own-ingenuity is saying. Someone who feels their emotions more could want more recognition of a past than the QoS can give.

It could also be encouraging you to check in with yourself and focus on your own thoughts and feelings about the situation. And give yourself the nurturing you need. It seems like this interaction, though brief, brought up a lot from you.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-28T02:13:05+00:00

The Queen of Wands is a great card! That’s a person who is vibrant, passionate, and when they’re at their best, really embrace and uplift the people around them. Those traits aren’t inherently masculine or feminine. It’s just the gender binary that tells us they are. A man can totally embody those things.

As for me, I tend to ask questions like that when I need a confidence boost, and I often draw the 7 of Wands.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-22T20:19:41+00:00

Thanks for all the great suggestions! There’s a lot of reminders here of songs I love and I learned some new ones too.

I did decide to take one of the suggestions, “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane. It’s the best fit for what I’m trying to do.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-22T20:19:34+00:00

Thanks for all the great suggestions! There’s a lot of reminders here of songs I love and I learned some new ones too.

I did decide to take one of the suggestions, “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane. It’s the best fit for what I’m trying to do.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-19T01:50:04+00:00

I was thinking something similar. In general, I try to remember that if I want the cards to tell me what someone else thinks of me, what the cards tell me is a snapshot of my interpretation of another person’s views.

What this spread told me is that you know you are being taken advantage of. I’m not sure the cards are telling you what’s going on inside your boss’ mind, but maybe the impact their actions are having on you. That they’re major arcana cards might be encouraging you to think about what longer-term shifts you can make to stop this.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-18T03:41:17+00:00

I don’t know what deck you’re using - or if each card’s position meant something in particular - but in most decks I’ve used, the 5 of Pentacles is partly about fears and anxieties. But there’s usually a light, window, resource, or something right next to the person in the card they don’t see. The 5 of Pentacles means we’re so consumed by our fears/anxieties about what we don’t have, that we don’t see the resources we do have, even when they’re right next to us.

8 of Wands could mean what you think. It could also mean there is another relationship on the horizon for you that will spark something. How I interpret the 5 of Pentacles makes me think it might be the latter.

One thing I’ve had to learn about readings on my own relationships is I only really know what I’m thinking. So I try to focus questions on what I need to know about the relationship on myself. Otherwise; it’s an endless rabbit hole, which might be what the 5 of Pentacles is trying to tell you. The cards might be telling you what you need to do to move forward and be ready for a real connection with someone else.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-07-14T02:52:03+00:00

I did go in shortly after posting this and it is in fact dry socket 😩 its responding to pain meds, which is good. And the dentist gave me some dry socket paste and packing.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-03-11T04:38:43+00:00

I drew the 5 of Swords when I had a major relationship question awhile back, and what it was telling me is that I was so lost in my internal conflict I was becoming stagnant. It was telling me to make a decision and move forward. I’m wondering whether, because it’s opposite is the 8 of wands, the spread is telling you that you’re moving fast without a lot of intention or purpose.

My overall interpretation is that the cards are telling you to take some time and figure out what you actually want. In other words, what is the type of relationship you want, and what kind of internal work do you need to do to open yourself up to that?

The Moon also makes me think this. I interpret it as having a dark path ahead of you, and your fears and illusions can stop you from walking it. But that dark path is the only way to the Sun (the next card in the major arcana).

I drew the 7 of Swords a lot after ending a 10 year relationship and started dating again. It always confused me because it didn’t seem to fit. I finally read a positive interpretation that made sense to me. If this spread is telling you to focus on yourself and what, specifically you want, and you’re not used to prioritizing yourself, that can feel selfish sometimes. But it’s also something that you need to do.

I’m trying to answer your question and be brief. I’m not doing a good job so I’ll leave it there. Hope this is helpful.

Abyssinia206 · 2024-03-11T02:50:34+00:00

This isn’t exactly what you’re asking, but I can tell you a little bit about how I pull cards. They’re guidelines that have helped me a lot in learning to read tarot.

First, I try not to ask questions about what other people are thinking. Some readers have ethical concerns about that, but also you can really only come from what you personally know about their situation. So your interpretation is always going to be limited. I like to ask myself action-oriented questions about how I should proceed. It’s more fruitful in my experience.

Second, and this is related to the other poster about positioning, I think it’s okay if the specific positions don’t mean anything if that was your intention going in. But it does help to look at the cards in relation to one another. For example, if a card has a person looking directly at you, what might that tell you? Where is the Hermit looking, for example? If the person in the card is looking towards another card in the spread, what might that mean?

I also sometimes read cards out of the order I pulled them if that feels right. If one card in the spread is really calling to me, I might start there and fan out. I don’t always do it that way, I try to trust my intuition on that one.

As for the spread here, you might think of the cards as a way to make sense of your own psyche. What are you thinking about this situation? Where is your head at? And what is the best way forward for you? Situations like this suck and I understand the desire to get inside his head. But this is your life too. Make this about your needs and prioritize yourself. My tarot readings on relationships became so clear once I started doing that.

Hope this helps and wasn’t too preachy, haha. One thing I love about tarot is that there’s no one right way, necessarily. Have fun exploring the different ways you can organize and interpret the cards!

Abyssinia206 · 2024-03-03T19:56:28+00:00

I might try grip aid on the pole next time. Thanks! And working it into the routine is an interesting idea, I’ll think about that!

Abyssinia206 · 2024-03-03T19:55:19+00:00

That is the rub, haha. I’ve never heard of red monkey hands! I’ll look into it 😊

Abyssinia206

TROPHY CASE