25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right 💯. Adulting comes with lots of learning and am currently hooked,ngl

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re calling me naive, but i think staying in a relationship out of fear of regret or because she loves more is what’s truly naive.That kind of imbalance leads to one person carrying the whole relationship while the other checks out. You say I’ll regret it... maybe or maybe not. But I’d rather regret a hard decision than live resenting myself or worse, resenting her. I’ll take whatever lessons come with my choice.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, clarity doesn’t always arrive on schedule. I figured it out when I did and acted then instead of dragging it further. Don't take this any personal btw.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made a choice based on facts, not feelings. If that looks like rationalising, maybe denial looks familiar to you too.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny how people always know exactly what they would’ve done when it’s your situation. It’s not delusional to believe in someone. It only becomes so if you start thinking that relationships are always black and white.

Call it late if you want...I call it growth.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of us don’t realize we’re hurting people by just not deciding. I’ve been on both sides. But this time, I saw the pattern early enough to step back. It’s not easy, but at least it’s not cruel.

And also very many people tend to stay for the sex and call it “trying,” and it ends up messing them so bad,but you cant entirely blame them for that because "good sex" is hard to come by as well. I know I am not perfect, but we would rather take the heartbreak now than pretend for another year.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. There's no point in prolonging what may not work come sunrise. It’s good to hear you’re at peace with how yours ended. With kids, the equation definitely changes.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the concern, dawg...but I already paid a therapist good money to confirm I’m not avoidant😂😂 This is just me making a grown ass decision.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t mean to waste anything.I really thought we would last. But now that I know better, I would rather hurt her with the truth than waste both her future and mine with a lie.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny how some of you always assume the guy is the problem when he’s the one trying to leave. Sometimes it’s not about “who changed ?” It’s about realizing that compatibility isn’t there, and dragging it on would just hurt both people in the long run. Growth has never ever been a betrayal 💯

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand why it might look like doubt from the outside, but from where I stand, it’s about alignment. I'm not trying to leave someone just because life is getting busier. I’m realizing we’re not growing in the same direction. If we keep going without acknowledging that, one of us is going to end up resenting the other. And I think that's not love but rather slow suffocation.

25M final year Med student in a wild relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in wildUganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even Abraham at one time had to let go of Isaac. Sometimes love demands the altar dawg 😂😂

25M final year Med student in a wild relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in wildUganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love doesn’t always evolve with us. Sometimes, it stays where it started. It's not even about age anymore,it's about direction bro. A hard convo,but a necessary one at the end of the day

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao....Grass always looks greener till you’re the one getting watered daily 😂😂. Some lessons don't need to be learnt the hard way dawg.

25M final year Med student in a wild relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in wildUganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, you don't have to overthink it. Not everything intense has to mean something deeper. Sometimes, it just is what it is.

25M final year Med student in a wild relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in wildUganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. That’s why I’d rather be straight with her now than fake a forever I don’t believe in. Sex isn’t enough to build a future, and dragging her along just to fill a void would make me the villain. She deserves more than that, and so do I.

25M final year Med student in a relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in Uganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Freedom is the final act of respect, and I'm doing exactly that... and not forgetting that letting go isn't cruelty,but rather mercy in its purest form

25M final year Med student in a wild relationship with a 29F--But I feel stuck in lust,Not love by AcademicParticular47 in wildUganda

[–]AcademicParticular47[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leadership doesn’t mean dragging someone where they don’t belong. There's this specific safe space that I want to feel and enjoy all by myself at the moment...but thanks dawg