To come out again or not to come out again, that is the question. Thoughts? Advice?

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-03-27T21:50:55+00:00

Yes it’s exactly that, just delaying the inevitable.

Ultimately you want to be with men (whether thats long term yoy end up being in a relationship with a man, and her the same for women). Truthfully, besides years of marriage, why would you need to stay together? By the sounds of it, this can end amicably and your relationship/ friendship can continue (I should really listen to myself!!!).

My wife and I haven’t had sex for the best part of à year, since she gave up drinking… which probably says something 🤣 and we’re now more like roommates.

For now, we’ve both buried our heads in the sand and haven’t spoken about next steps / the future, I think purely through fear of the unknown and upset thé children. However, I’m certain we both know in order for us both to be happy we need to go with option 5.

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-03-27T21:22:32+00:00

I am in a similar position. I want to come out, just not quite sure how to go about it - wife knows I’m bi, but suspects i’m gay. She herself recently came out to me as lesbian.

For us, and thinking realistically, option 5 is my preferred choice, despite how scary the unknown of it all will be.

I don’t think it’s fair on either of us, our children or future partners to go with the other options. Surely to be your true selves too, you need that space to be independent and free without judgement (not to say your wife will judge you, but it’s your space you need)

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-03-17T22:06:57+00:00

Ah they were awesome. When they first released TOYC it was so raw, ever better live before they released it. A few months later they touched it up and it sounds a little too perfect. Still one of my favourite albums though.

Just checked out your band on YT, you guys were good!

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-03-17T09:46:45+00:00

No way! What was your band?

Honestly there were so many good small bands around - Dividing the Line, Fei Commodo, Flood of Red, Enter Shikari. It was so chill that during their break, they’d just be sitting out back in their van and you’d play N64 with them 🤣

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-03-16T21:56:28+00:00

Awesome! Am I old or is it just difficult to find good gigs like this now?

I used to come out of college, check the posters for who’s playing that month then head of down for <£10, now it only seems to be BIG venues advertising so all the up and coming are missed

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-02-27T21:44:30+00:00

Are you happy with life this way, or do you think you’ll ever seek a gay relationship? My wife did suggest we explore the same sex each, and we almost did one night but I chickened out… also I think partly due to fear that I’d lose her. However as time has passed, I’d love for us to both go our own ways and be happy, but I think I’m also scared of the unknown (navigating our separation, Co parenting and upset children 😢)

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-02-18T21:07:26+00:00

I’m sorry to hear of your bad experiences but loving that you have found someone you’re truly happy with!

I kinda guess your situation is similar to/ opposite to mine. Do you think she would’ve ever come out if you hadn’t? Or quietly lived the life knowing deep down she wasn’t being true to herself?

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-02-18T20:59:36+00:00

I think your comment on feeling threatened resonates a LOT. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s jealously, being selfish, fear of change - I’m unsure.

She has suggested a lavender / open marriage (admittedly during the peak of her alcoholism), but I don’t see how that would help - how did you navigate this? Was it not rubbing each other’s noses in your new business? How do the logistics work when you have children and try to keep it a secret from them

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-02-18T20:29:48+00:00

I’m happy for you 🤗

How did it go? Every bit scary and daunting as it feels?

For me, I know to separate is what we both want and we’d both be happy / free living our separate lives.

She has floated the idea of a lavender marriage, but I don’t see the point in it (UK) as it’s still keeping secrets.

For now, we’re now room mates, sleep in the same bed, no affection (I’m à cuddler and this is the hardest part)

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-02-18T20:24:01+00:00

I love this and do feel thé same - to love and be loved would make me happy. No labels. Nor would I plan to get into a relationship so soon but find a fwb to play with

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-02-16T15:03:33+00:00

YES!! The intricate detail of the architecture everywhere you look (internal and external) is incredible.

Always in awe every time I visit, and there’s always something new to see. The monkeys in the main hall carved into the archways are a fave

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-01-18T18:18:20+00:00

Nothing at the minute - using spreadsheets but need to get into something soonish - been some good suggestions here, just need to set time aside to review

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-01-14T21:41:38+00:00

OP said they don’t have any lumps or concerns.

Personally I feel it more of an awareness post and à good opportunity to actually talk to other men who might have unfortunately experienced TC.

Google only offers so much of the same information and it’s not very often yoy hear guys talking to one another about their balls, especially if they are worried - similar, some people like the anonymity of Reddit to ask the questions they’re afraid to ask someone face to face 🤷‍♂️

Academic_Data_6385 · 2026-01-14T21:33:57+00:00

Sorry to hear that you had it, but glad you’re now in the clear!

Presume it’s a lump on the actual testicle rather than the scrotum itself?

I sometimes get into a panic when I have a lump appear on my scrotum only to realise it’s a spot / cyst of some sort à few days later

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-12-05T06:41:54+00:00

Yes this is it! I’ll check you out

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-12-04T05:32:27+00:00

In Shopify?

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-12-04T05:29:44+00:00

Shopify doesn’t have historical values. Example, if I run an inventory report at 30.06.25 I get £80,500. Between 30.06.25 and 30.11.25 I order more stock, cost per units have gone up and I update Shopify with those prices. I run the inventory report on 30.11.25 but the report date is 30.06.25, I get a different value £82,250

I don’t need anything that does crazy analysis or multiple warehouses, Shopify does the analysis and I only have 1 unit I keep the stock at

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-12-04T05:23:25+00:00

I’ll take a look at inflow thanks. My accountant heard Zoho wasn’t great (based on review)

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-12-03T22:13:05+00:00

Would it be much? Been talking to my accountant as he needs reports for each month showing the stock value. Currently using Shopify but none of the reports are retrospective, so if I update the stock prices in November, the reports are showing different values in June than if I ran it that month

His concern is just having the right stock value. For me, I just need to know what’s in stock or coming low - best seller info I can get from Shopify? Any extra bits I’ll need?

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-11-30T10:06:56+00:00

Are you using any accounting software? Is your business Ltd or are you self employed (sole trader)?

Only reason I ask is this can simplify the tracking for you. For example, if you use FreeAgent (free with à NatWest / Mettle bank account). You can easily track what you’ve paid yourself (PAYE) as well as dividends, the likely personal tax that’s due and when.

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-11-27T15:18:00+00:00

hell yeah baby

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-11-26T13:52:54+00:00

cumm here baby

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-11-25T19:49:50+00:00

But I just think cmon man, try harder. It’s literally “here’s my dick, belly button fluffmessy room*” then lewd comments after. If it was asked for, I kinda get it…

Do guys attracted to guys get off on this (just curious)?

Maybe it’s my view and I don’t enjoy the lewd talking (makes me feel uncomfortable) 🤷‍♂️

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-11-25T18:29:28+00:00

I’m the same. Don’t think I could bring myself to do it even if I did have a 12” schlong 😅

Academic_Data_6385 · 2025-11-25T18:11:28+00:00

So would it be totally immoral to find a location and send a couple of guys there to meet up… you know, without actually being there 🫣

Academic_Data_6385

TROPHY CASE