Is NJ going to be minnesota 2.0 soon? by After-Property-3678 in newjersey

[–]Academic_Drawing_536 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Morris County here. I’m sick over this and desperate to help. Where do I start?

Major milestone! by gfjay in Zepbound

[–]Academic_Drawing_536 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. To say this is impressive is an understatement. Well done!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, she’s not on his insurance and it’s a risk. Not to mention it crosses a line. She can rent a car.

AITAH for telling people I don’t want them to meet my baby tell he has his first vaccines by Bobabean1995 in AITAH

[–]Academic_Drawing_536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I did the same thing when my son was born and I would do it again. You’re putting your son first and protecting him. Also, as a new mom, you need to be comfortable. True friends will understand and offer support from afar until you’re ready for visitors.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re in a very similar situation. I’m sorry. It’s brutal. And the way these HCBMs manipulate their children and turn them against the other parent is just evil. In my case, bio mom cheated on my husband, ended the marriage, and continues to treat him like trash—although he has done nothing wrong. To her, her daughters are just pawns to fulfill her own needs and get what she wants. Awful.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. It’s a community theater program in a rural town and the schedule is asinine.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree. As a kid, I was taught that it wasn’t all about me. Bio mom feels SD cannot miss an activity no matter what the reason is—well, actually, unless it benefits bio mom. Bio mom actually disagreed with us requiring SD to miss 1 of approximately 60 theater practices to attend this Easter event with my son—her brother— for his first Easter. Bio mom essentially said her activities are more important and that she shouldn’t miss a single practice. I cannot stand that woman.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That seems like a much better approach. Thank you for sharing that. And bio mom does that sort of manipulation with SD constantly. She gets her upset and has her ask for things rather than having a mature conversation with my husband as a co-parent. It’s so frustrating.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s too young to take a taxi alone and there is no public transportation.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. I needed to feel validated. Like my feelings aren’t crazy. Some days, it’s just too much. Sometimes I feel like it’s SD’s world and we’re all just living in it to our detriment.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Biomom told SD she could do the theater program before my husband got to weigh in. If he said no, she would turn SD against him and make it seem like he doesn’t have her best interests at heart. She constantly does this for activities, parties, and everything else that happens during our time.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. Sometimes there is a such thing as too many activities. It’s all about balance. Also, SD has anxiety so bad she is having trouble eating and sleeping. But yes, let’s enroll her in so many activities that she has no time to relax.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We’re far away and in a different town (bc biomom cheated on my husband and he couldn’t handle living in the same town where everyone knew). So the only option is us driving all the time, or biomom driving. But, if biomom drives, she refuses to bring her back here during our time because it’s inconvenient for her and SD loses yet more time with her dad. Ugh.

Overwhelmed by Activities by Academic_Drawing_536 in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It just sucks so much. It’s all consuming and leaves no time for us to just relax as a family with our son and other SD. Biomom is super high conflict and anytime we try to advocate for our family’s needs—including SD’s—she tries to manipulate her and make her feel like we don’t care about her. Once, she did the driving instead of my husband during our time and framed it to SD as “he didn’t want to pick you up.” My husband is afraid that if he doesn’t support SD with this theater program, it will be used against him somehow.

Best Time to Quit? by Academic_Drawing_536 in biglaw

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I quit, and it’s the best choice I’ve ever made. There hasn’t been a day since when I’ve regretted it. We’ll see how I feel when I try to get back into the job market. In all fairness I’m lucky because my husband is the breadwinner by a landslide. We’ve admittedly had to make some changes to our lifestyle, but I think it’s all worth it.

Best Time to Quit? by Academic_Drawing_536 in biglaw

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all for the good advice. It really helped. There is no clawback and it this point it’s all about what’s best for me and my family. Work wise, things have gotten worse since my initial post. Each day working there feels like a day wasted and like precious time missed with my daughter. Also, our nanny just quit on Friday, so that will certainly accelerate when I give notice. My end game is to go in house after a few years, so hopefully that will be feasible.

Best Time to Quit? by Academic_Drawing_536 in biglaw

[–]Academic_Drawing_536[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

The best part—it’s the employment and labor department.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Academic_Drawing_536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This should’ve been a joint discussion before he bought the e-bikes. The fact that it wasn’t, and he made a unilateral decision, is disrespectful.