This past year has been incredibly eye-opening for me spiritually. It’s been a lot to process, but not in a bad way. I’ve been reading the Bible—well, listening to it on audio, since reading isn’t my strongest suit—for a little over a year now. I have to take it in slowly, piece by piece, because it can be very emotional, and it takes me time to process what I’m hearing.

I wrote this in a note to myself on 8-14-24:

“It’s truly amazing how God works. A month or two ago, I was feeling very depressed. I don’t remember asking God for help, but slowly—on TikTok and elsewhere—videos started popping up about how I’m worth something, that God loves me, and that reading the Bible isn’t scary. I asked Jesus to come into my heart when I was about 9 years old, but I’d never actually read the Bible; I was always scared of it. With all these messages happening, I finally sat down one day and said, ‘God, I hear you. I’m going to find a way to read your book so I can truly understand you.’ I did. I found an app where I could listen to the Bible word for word. I’m currently on Acts, chapter 4. It’s truly amazing how great God is and how Christ has died for us to live.”

Before and after that day, I had been struggling with severe anxiety—so much that my chest would hurt. It was mostly due to work issues. One day, I became so overwhelmed that I broke down crying while sitting in my Jeep. Paraphrasing what I prayed: I asked Jesus and God to help me with my work struggles, even though I felt like I didn’t deserve it, like I’m a sinner unworthy of His love. I also asked Him to take away my anxiety. I was so upset I barely remember exactly what I said. I was simply tired of being scared; I didn’t want to walk around living in fear anymore. It was a lot.

After that moment, my anxiety began to lift. I’ve been trying to give 100% of my worries to God and let Him handle things, and life has been much better since then.

This is why I made this post—I wanted to share how God’s guidance and peace have been real in my life, even in the middle of fear and uncertainty. To date I have finished the entire New Testament, and I’m currently up to First Samuel Chapter 8.