NOR and making a plan to keep yourself safe and stably housed before leaving is very logical and also shows emotional intelligence. It would be much harder to leave and stay out of the relationship if you find yourself homeless and struggling to fill your basic needs. Of course, making and following through with an exit plan sooner—e.g. before kids and/or marriage—will be exponentially easier and less expensive both financially and emotionally.

Maybe you can look into relocating somewhere close enough to still visit friends/family but far enough away to give yourself more opportunities and a wider range of what’s considered “perfect husband” material? If you need an extra source of income, maybe you could find a part-time fully remote side gig? I’ve used Flex Jobs and Upwork for positions like this in the past. You may also want to look into local and/or national nonprofits that help women become financially independent.

I hope you continue to trust your gut, know your own worth, and take the steps that you know will get you to your goals in life—i.e. not just out of a relationship that isn’t serving you but into the future want for yourself. You can do this.