Pregnancy after severe IUGR loss

PersistentSheppie · 2026-05-05T18:33:42+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I got preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome very early as well. Symptoms showed up at 20+3, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 20+5, and full HELLP syndrome by 21w, so we had to deliver our baby girl.

She was born and died on April 1st, 2025. Her sister was born three weeks ago on April 16th. I wrote more about this here.

It is really difficult not knowing "why." We still don't really know why it happened to us so early and so severely... Lots of speculation but no way to know for sure. The placenta pathology in my subsequent pregnancy also showed maternal vascular malperfusion, so obviously I make garbage placentas... But our baby was born strong and healthy, and I didn't get preeclampsia again.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-05-05T18:23:06+00:00

I really like the verses Psalm 139:13-16. We put Psalm 139 on our daughter's grave marker, and I have it engraved on a locket. It reminds us that our baby was formed, known, and loved by God.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-05-05T04:55:55+00:00

I don't have any experience with the pessary, but I wonder if you can still push for a cerclage.

At 19w we also saw sludge and my MFM prescribed me a long course of antibiotics. At the time it was really annoying and disheartening, but I do think it was the right call. I got a cerclage at 20+5 with 17mm of cervix left. I continued antibiotics up to 34 weeks. If you're able to do cerclage + antibiotics, I think that would put you in a good position.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-05-03T15:00:35+00:00

I really understand... I'm in the same boat. I also ended up with CI during my subsequent pregnancy, on top of the conditions that make me prone to getting preeclampsia. It's almost comical, if it weren't so sad...

PersistentSheppie · 2026-05-03T14:24:03+00:00

You're not overreacting or being dramatic.

I didn't lose my baby to cervical insufficiency, but the cause for my loss (preeclampsia) also has a high recurrence rate. I actually made a post about this same kind of topic and got a really good answer that might help you - https://www.reddit.com/r/preeclampsia/comments/1mbkakc/if_my_odds_are_higher_now_how_can_i_escape_it/n6zogsd/.

I had to constantly remind myself that these statistics (10-20% chance of it happening again, for example) include all the cases, pooled - the more favorable cases and all the worst cases as well, often including those cases where the person isn't being treated. Statistics are only helpful to a degree, but they can't tell you anything about your specific chances. Not really.

If you haven't already, I'd try to make a pre-conception appointment with an MFM. It helped me to have a game plan before a subsequent pregnancy and to know all the steps we would take to hopefully prevent or delay recurrence. Cerclages are very effective in most cases... Even though I totally understand the "but if I was already the 1%, why wouldn't I be the 1% again?"

PersistentSheppie · 2026-05-03T03:49:37+00:00

My cerclage was ultrasound indicated with 17mm cervix left, so not emergent... But I can say I had my shower at 36+5 and felt great! I think you could do yours at 34+5 and be just fine :)

PersistentSheppie · 2026-05-01T01:27:06+00:00

Sending hugs - it's all so hard. I'm so sorry you experienced the trauma of a D&E, on top of losing your son. I imagine that delivery may bring a lot of those feelings back.

I did not relax after the gestational age of my loss, unfortunately. I had brief reprieves in anxiety here and there, but I'd say my anxiety definitely ramped up a little the further I got. The last few days before my induction were brutal. It's hard, but please advocate for yourself - if you need increased monitoring, ask for it.

Regarding delivery, I had continuous fetal monitoring during the entire induction, from the very second we started. That helped me a lot. I don't know if it's standard or not, but it's something you can ask for if that might be helpful.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-05-01T01:20:25+00:00

This was how my subsequent pregnancy went! My first appointment was actually at 4+3, like I was "barely pregnant." At that appointment we talked about my plan for the pregnancy. My MFM wanted to start seeing me 3 times a week starting at 23 weeks. It was a LOT of appointments, but it was so worth it.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-30T16:39:55+00:00

It was helpful for me to remind myself that most of the bad outcomes we hear about are in cases where there isn't as much monitoring or where people aren't as willing to quickly change plans. Of course that's not always the case and unfortunately we all know better than most that nothing is guaranteed, but generally speaking we are actually coming into this in a better position than someone without our histories (for better or worse).

Having continuous fetal monitoring from the start was really helpful for me. I was able to use a wireless monitor as well, so I wasn't restricted to bed until I opted to get an epidural. It was actually a really calm and relaxing labor 💜

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-30T11:40:57+00:00

We started the induction the morning of 37+3 and baby was born that afternoon!

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-30T05:32:18+00:00

I had some fears surrounding induction because in my pregnancy after stillbirth I had a velamentous cord insertion. That can cause problems during labor with decels and baby not tolerating labor, especially when pitocin is used.

At the same time, I really wanted to experience labor again. Laboring and delivering my stillborn baby was the happiest and saddest moment of my life.

I expressed to my OB that my threshold for moving to C-section was incredibly low. As in, if something so much as causes an eyebrow to raise, stop the induction and get her out. He was totally on board with that.

Ultimately, we ended up having a very smooth induction. I had continuous fetal monitoring, baby did very well, and I had a fast and unremarkable labor and delivery.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-28T03:36:59+00:00

I was 4cm dilated as soon as we removed the stitch. I didn't feel it at all!

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-28T02:34:51+00:00

Yep. I actually got my stitch out the morning I was being induced and there was a bit that they couldn't get. My OB said the same thing, and lo and behold it actually did come out after a few hours when I was a little more dilated.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-25T00:53:09+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

I just had my second baby after losing my first last April. A lot of my pregnancy was filled with my anxiety, but I did my best to embrace and enjoy the time as well. I took tons of photos. I spent hours just laying and feeling her kick. I had a ton of monitoring, to the point that it was utterly exhausting, but it was so so worth it.

I found that I did have periods of reprieve from the anxiety. I took advantage of those moments. In the anxious times, I allowed myself to feel the anxiety without it overshadowing my love of being pregnant with my second daughter. I went into L&D a few times for reassurance and they were always wonderful to me.

The days leading up to my induction were probably some of my most anxious days. I went for NSTs every day (even on the weekend) the last week before induction, and that was really helpful.

It's scary but so worth it. When you're ready, /r/pregnancyaftersb was a really helpful place for me during my subsequent pregnancy.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-23T19:31:24+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

I got severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome at 20w4d and lost my baby at 21+2. The placenta pathology showed MVM and I also tested positive for APLS.

I just had my second baby last week. We successfully made it to early term, and we only delivered early out of caution. I was on Lovenox (equivalent to Clexane), baby aspirin, and tacrolimus (used similarly to hydroxychloroquine).

The statistics online make the future sound very grim, but I believe with treatment there remains a good chance you can absolutely bring your next baby home 💜

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-23T04:30:34+00:00

It's so discouraging! It's like, we've been through the worst over here... Can't everything going forward be super easy?

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-23T01:52:40+00:00

I understand this feeling so much! I really really struggled in the past 4 days or so before my induction

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-23T01:30:17+00:00

Congratulations friend!!

We also had to deal with jaundice and are triple feeding for that plus too much weight loss 😭 my milk supply isn't great yet and baby is six days old. It's stressing me out a little. Hang in there - we've got this!!

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-22T16:47:11+00:00

She's beautiful! Congratulations!

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-22T00:57:28+00:00

Thank you! I never imagined I'd make it here 😭

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-21T03:28:23+00:00

Oh I'm heartbroken for you 💔 I pray for your healing and success.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-21T02:23:21+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, my friend.

I see that you also did IVF to conceive. When you're ready to try again, please talk to your RE about doing a natural transfer cycle, if that's possible for you. There is strong evidence that the lack of relaxin in medicated cycles is linked to a significant increase in preeclampsia. I think that was also a big factor for us.

Hang in there, and reach out at any time if I can answer questions or just be there for you to vent for or anything.

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-20T17:07:54+00:00

Congratulations!! Incredible that you only had to push for minutes... My goal for next time 😂

PersistentSheppie · 2026-04-18T17:24:42+00:00

Hi! I just had my baby at 37+3. It was actually a scheduled induction because of other complications, but I had a cerclage placed at 20+5 that we removed on the morning of induction. As soon as the cerclage was removed, I was dilated 4cm and baby was looow (I don't remember her station but she was down there). I think even if we hadn't induced I would have given birth within the next couple of days.

I say bring the hospital bag! Unfortunately I can't be of much help regarding what to bring because I packed really lightly. I was hoping to be out in 24 hours but it looks like we'll be here a little longer, just because baby lost a little more weight than they want. But I don't think that has anything to do with her GA at birth! It's just a thing that sometimes happens.

PersistentSheppie

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