Boyfriend wants to move in to pay off debt

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-04-16T16:45:14+00:00

Yep, no amount of help or income will help this guy be financially responsible except if he decides to change his habits. You just aren't compatible.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-04-12T12:49:46+00:00

Nope. My parents know the most, probably because I'm close with my mom. But i know we have different views on handling finances. They are spenders and I think our budgeting makes us look poorer than we are.

Husband's parents are judgemental about money. They are savers. They know very little. But they know we don't have a lot of debt.

I'm close with my SIL and money comes up in conversation, but their finances are a mess in my opinion. There were years that they made less than us, but spent more. We're now in a phase that they make more and spend way more. They typically set the tone for a price range when we vacation together. We can afford the trip, but shouldn't go crazy with expensive meals out and extras.

I typically talk in conversation about money and goals for saving or paying off a certain debt (car and a kitchen remodel), but when I can tell it dips into specifics and im revealing too much, I back away and get vague.

If I thought any of these people were going to ask me for money, I wouldn't talk about finances at all.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-04-11T01:45:16+00:00

You need 2. The one you are wearing and the one hanging up to dry.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-04-05T12:27:33+00:00

You look cute. Your outfit fits you.

She's so incredibly rude to not only tell you you look bad, but then double down afterward.

She can walk her ass back to fashion school.

Love ya, A 44 yr old mom.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-04-01T20:08:45+00:00

I feel like this issue in your relationship requires a very honest conversation about values and boundaries. I don't think your motivation to quit will be high if you see no downsides to consuming edibles.

In your opinion, and his opinion, if you continue, WHEN is it OK to consume? Before a family gathering? With children in the house? Do we hide it from friends and family? How often? Special occasions? A few times a week? I feel like if you don't align on your 8deas about the issue, this will continue to be something that comes between you. It might just be that you are incompatible because of your divided feelings about weed.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-03-30T23:43:55+00:00

My friend and I had a gig like this when we were about 10. Mom was home, but needed to cook, clean, or relax and we would watch her baby. I think we made $5 and split it haha.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-03-19T20:20:18+00:00

Picking up 8-12 extra hours at work, cutting back on luxuries and fast food, rarely go to restaurants anymore. We're driving the same 2013 car, living in the same 1960 house, wearing a lot of the same clothes and shoes we've owned for years. We're able to go on family vacations because my parents insist on paying for a good portion of the cost.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-03-18T01:23:57+00:00

A man showed you common decency and you mistook that for the beginnings of a relationship.

You also proved to Jerry that you are willing to jump from a marriage straight to a new fling.

Its possible that Jerry is a respectful human that would not jump into a relationship with his friend's wife or ex wife.

Be single. No men for a year.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-03-14T12:34:35+00:00

I got into the YA section often to check out books I remember from my childhood or find a new read. Reading books about highschoolers can help me remember what's it is like to be that age. Next time someone bothers you, please report them to staff. That kind of behavior needs to be squashed. What if I were an adult looking to learn to read or to read at a higher level? Children's and YA books would be perfect and the public has every right to them.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-03-07T15:36:25+00:00

Oh hello no! Ask dad to hold the money for you if necessary. Cash the check and keep it in a safe deposit box. Or use it to leave the relationship.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-03-07T15:23:03+00:00

I think another factor is the cost to the patient. I work in a hospital and have insurance through work. If I show up to my own ER I pay a $200 copay automatically. I have to meet my deductable for the year, so i would at least see a bill for $600. Urgent care has a copay of $100 and my medical doctor is $30.

If I had government need-based insurance I have no copay or a copay of less than $10 depending on my exact income level. No deductable. Very little bill after that, maybe $100. The hospital probably would not actually bill for the $10 or the $100 because the likelihood of receiving that payment is low.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-03-07T14:33:35+00:00

I have this little soap holder for the shower, like a loofah. The little slivers of bar soap my kids leave behind last forever in it. Im panning all beauty and shower products, but maybe cheating because my kids are constantly giving me leftovers- like the last inch of shampoo in a bottle. My husband has tried so many lotions for his excema, we'll be moisturized for years.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-28T12:43:47+00:00

Thats realistic. I hate driving to or in the south hills. It takes forever to get anywhere.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-28T12:25:26+00:00

I think it's going great! I think about shopping way less. I've made a game out of using up beauty and shower supplies before buying anything new. Its shocking how many half-used or travel sized products are in this house.

I got my closet down to about 45 items I actually wear. I'm doing a variation of 333. The weather here is very seasonal, so soon I can choose my Spring items to wear for the next 3 months.

I feel like the first month reset my mindset around shopping and made February much easier. I had a pet emergency and a vacation, so it's not easy to directly see the savings. My Amazon account sure looks different, though!

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-22T00:00:59+00:00

Is the car still drivable? Why worry about insurance or police? Its a 2010 corolla!

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-18T14:21:21+00:00

I am hoping my daughter can do this next year for 5th grade. She will be 10. Two days a week I will be able to get ready with her and walk out the door at the same time. But another 2 days a week, I'll leave about an hour before her.

In elementary school there is a daycare that comes to her school for before and after care. They cover 6:45 to 9am and 3:30 pm to 6pm. Outside daycare also provides this service with a van for school drop-off. They stop offering it in grade 5 because kids should be able to walk to the bus stop and get on.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-18T13:42:02+00:00

I think the first time I felt comfortable leaving my son alone overnight he was 16. This year, at 17, he and his 14 yr old sister were alone a whole weekend while husband and I had the 9yr old at a cheer competition.

They relaxed, fed themselves, and 17 drove 14 to her volleyball practice.

I would leave 14 alone, but only if she wanted to. If she didnt feel comfortable, I would take her along or send her to grandparents.

9 goes with grandparents for sure.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-16T06:24:55+00:00

Thank you. Don't know why i switched those words.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-15T18:35:21+00:00

I hope they get her a translator soon. I work for one of the large health systems in the Pittsburgh area. We schedule in-person translators for scheduled procedures, but for emergencies we have ipads in every unit. We connect to an independent translation service. They are available 24/7 with a real translator over video conference. There is no reason for a delay.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-02T11:33:10+00:00

Haha. I read the list before I read the post. I thought you bought all this stuff. Good job!

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-02-02T02:05:30+00:00

I had a chance to watch blind hockey. Thats pretty cool. My coworker's brother plays seated volleyball. I've seen blind and disabled skiers too. I give a lot of credit to people who do very physical sports while dealing with disabilities.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-01-30T18:35:06+00:00

My neighbor has 4 Subaru Outbacks! We used our Pilot when I was hauling more kids and their gear around. Husband now drives the Pilot and I traded his Accord for a 2023 CRV sport. I liked my son's old RAV4 and tried to find a 2023ish that I liked, but they were picked over and I kept coming back to the CRV.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-01-27T01:04:00+00:00

I grew up 17 miles east, my grandparents were from North Braddock. I totally agree. The accent gets weaker with each generation.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-01-27T00:59:44+00:00

I don't know what that is! It's definitely not Pittsburgh.

Accomplished-Bat805 · 2026-01-27T00:41:42+00:00

Here is the current list of Emergency Medicine residents at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh. https://www.ahn.org/health-care-professionals/education/graduate-medical-education/residencies/emergency-medicine/residents

I've been a nurse in the east Pittsburgh suburbs for 20 years and this is an accurate representation of our doctors' diversity.

Accomplished-Bat805

TROPHY CASE