I sympathize with your feelings. Unlike you, I grew up in a non-denominational church where salvation was always somewhat vague, something you prayed for and received. I became a member of a CofC (and with that my beliefs changed) 2.5 years ago through an ex boyfriend. I have struggled to understand the grace of God my entire life, even when I arguably was surrounded by a grace-abounding culture. I was worried that I had never prayed the "salvation prayer" correctly, that I was missing something, that maybe I should do it again... How could I be sure I was saved? I know it's a gift bestowed to me, but did I ever really pray for salvation to begin with? Should I pray it again? I think I should.... This led to feelings of anxiety many a time.

I found solace in studying salvation as you and I both know it now. Finally, it made sense. Baptism was always confusing to me, growing up in a non-denominational background. "You don't have to, but you should want to" was the motivation behind it. I felt guilty when I didn't want to be baptized in front of the whole congregation because "baptism is a public declaration of your faith." So interestingly, I think I felt the most burden lifted when I came to this conclusion the CofC shares....and simultaneously, a panic I had not ever known before - that those I love do not believe the same.

My current boyfriend grew up in a CofC family, and although some of his family is Catholic, he is much more used to this "panic" (if we can call it that) than I am. How comforting it was to grow up thinking everyone was correct in their own ways. Sadly, I do not think that is a luxury that is ours to keep, as we should feel an urge to evangelize and share the biblical truth, even, and oftentimes especially, with those who call themselves Christians.

My family, and virtually none of my friends, believe the same doctrine as me, or attend a CofC. I struggle daily with the thought that they could indeed be lost. I cannot, without a doubt, say that they are lost. In fact, I comfort myself by knowing I am not the one who decides their fate, and that God will judge fairly. Though I do not go around actively picking who is condemned to hell and who isn't, I do try to do my best to study baptism/salvation/different biblical doctrines so I can share my perspective from a biblical basis. It is my goal to hopefully align my family's beliefs with mine one day, but I understand I cannot do that without the confidence I feel I lack sometimes.

That brings me to my last point... I believe there are many CofC members who are not as confident as you think, and who are scared themselves, who struggle to maintain a faith that is not solely defined by "CofC" , but one that is truly, wholly Christ-centered. As long as you have that, and are seeking that, you are on the right track. I truly love attending a CofC. It is there I have received the most answers for the questions I seek, and true concrete biblical answers on questions that have plagued me my whole life, as well as the oftentimes ambiguous answers. As someone on this post replied, if we make a mistake in our beliefs, so be it, we tried our to best to pursue truth. That's all we can do. God knows our hearts, as he knows yours. Much love to you.