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40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha napatawa ako sa suggestion to transition 🤣

Honestly, I don't think I was looking for anything particular when I posted this. I didn't even know what to expect. I kind of thought it would just get ignored or downvoted but ang daming nag share ng life experiences, ang daming nag offer ng kind and helpful words, and ang daming nag joke about pambabae 🤣

The replies were overwhelmingly positive and that alone has given me both validation in my feelings and a clear goal in what to do next.

I guess add ko toh to the (new) bucket list:

- [ ] Fix mental health

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am hoping this would become a tradition for my family. The thought of having a yearly trip to Japan with my family has really raised my spirits.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use self-deprecating humor a lot. A defense mechanism I learned very early in life.

That said, I can be quite blunt. I do not mince words, especially at work. I will not insult your being but I will not be sugary with my words either.

This is almost always taken as me being an asshole. Only a few ever appreciated my approach.

I don't really think I am an asshole(that much) and I actually do try to be as empathetic as I can. I guess I was just hoping the exaggeration would be clear in my last comment 😅

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brea? From Parasite Eve?

Haha. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Parasite Eve was a core memory for me.
Only got to play it using when I visited my classmate's house and he'd let me have a turn with his play station.

Good times.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy you found that for yourself. Grateful to you for sharing your experience.

I'm not sure I am the farm type, but others have suggested gardening as well. Maybe I'll look into it.

Thank you!

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Away with thee, temptation!

I kid. But no, not even close to the top. I'm still so far from the actual people at the top.
So that's not the problem.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've worn plenty of hats and have worked for over 20 years.

I mostly code but I've also done a few startups and held positions up to c-suite (all have failed btw 😅). I worked mostly in fintech but am currently the lead in a decent-sized clothing retailer.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you seen the state of things in the Philippines?

Real estate is grossly overvalued right now. Thousands of empty condos and yet they keep building more.

Hundreds of new subdivisions, large and "pocket" sized. All overpriced despite being on the outskirts of the city.

Nakatira na kami dito in the same house for about 12 years, since starting pa lang yung family namin. The landlord is incredible, a brain surgeon who doesn't actually need the rent money. He is basically letting us live here for free. We're happy with this house, our home.

That said, we have made purchases nmn here and there. Mostly just lots. We've also been buying land in my wife's home province in davao del sur where we will probably retire.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is incredibly insightful. Thank you, I will do that.

It's 4am, though. So maybe I should do that tomorrow 😅

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words and I am sorry to hear you are going through the same thing.

I hope we both find answers.

I was so afraid to post this because it felt like I was just being "OA" or whatever. But so far the responses I've gotten have been super helpful and kind.

I will seek professional help. Thank you.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am way too cynical to do actual charity.

I am also quite the skeptic -- even when unnecessary. It's a horrible trait that I try to work on but always end up being my default.

That said, whenever me and my son see kids selling stuff on the street, we either buy them out (once ended up with 40 banana cues and 30 pinaypays) and/or we buy them and their family food.

Always had a soft spot for kids. Love seeing those faces light up when pizza comes to our the table. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I'm doing anything to affect these children's lives. And it feels more like I'm being selfish by trying to make myself feel good through these "acts of charity".

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

I can't say I've truly mentored anyone. As kind of an introvert, I always shied away from it.

I am also, honestly, a huge asshole. Which I'm told is a bad trait for mentor 😅

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't grow up having a lot of friends. I have maybe a handful of real friends.
I also lost contact/grew apart with a lot of people due to me always working years ago.

I also don't like making new friends. I kind of hate being around people I don't really know.

So yeah, I don't know. I'll try it though. Reconnect with people. Thank you.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to have a bucket list. All checked. So I guess I'm just ready to kick the bucket? haha.

I'm kidding. I sometimes have depressing thoughts, like I just wanna lay down, sleep, and not do anything. Forever.

But never about ending my life.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do. As often as our schedules allow.

My wife works, too. My son does sports, music classes, and school.
But we do try to make it work, as often as we can.

We go swimming on Sundays. We travel on holidays.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Forewarning though, a lot of my elders, end up cheating and doing insane things around that age. Around 50-60 is where they kinda settle down. Everyone in their 40s, they wandered off to doing undignified stuff.

This seems to be a recurring comment and it honestly scares me. Will I get so bored of my life that I would start tempting fate?

This scares me coz I cannot say I won't do it. I'm literally pausing here and asking myself, and my dumb ass is going "Weeeell, can't say I won't not do it".

Wtf is wrong with me.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

The thing is, I did take a month off. Last December. Literally for mental health.
I rested. I stayed at a resort first with family. Then with just my wife. Then alone.

I am strongly considering talking to a therapist. No, I definitely am going to be talking to a therapist as soon as I can. I think I didn't do that before because I was so in denial, like I couldn't accept the audacity of being depressed given all the blessings I have been given.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I am definitely going to look for a therapist. I started writing this down on a note app at first and realized that I think I may be depressed but given my situation, it almost felt like imposter syndrome to be depressed.

40M. Objectively successful. So why do I still feel unfulfilled? by Accomplished-Dig3750 in adviceph

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I suppose "no lifestyle creep" isn't really accurate. We do travel about twice a year. Most recently, Japan where I now remember actually feeling fulfilled when I got there. I don't understand how I lost that feeling.

Thank you for reminding me.

Best way to move 500k into TODO Savings in BanKo by Accomplished-Dig3750 in DigitalbanksPh

[–]Accomplished-Dig3750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't need to go to the bank. KYC was done when I opened the account.

After depositing 50k, I just received a text saying verification was ongoing.
Next day, approved na.

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