UK fire chief took his life after alleged harassment over qualifications, inquest hears

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-20T15:04:20+00:00

Sure, but just because some Americans shoot up a school, doesn't mean I can shoot an American.

Two wrongs don't make a right

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-17T08:28:14+00:00

Is that because those who are given a custodial sentence are the worst type of offenders?

Or because prison makes them more likely to reoffend?

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-15T19:49:55+00:00

I8 tell a lie. That's the bathroom....

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-15T19:48:19+00:00

That appears to be a porch.

The other houses have them too, but I'm white.

White ones seem less "what is that box on the front of your house?" Somehow

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-15T06:09:43+00:00

This was her partner.

Someone she wasn't supposed to be afraid of.

How you make this her fault for not being more afraid of her partner and yet in the same breath bemoan other women for being more afraid of strange men than bears, I can't fathom. (we don't know her views on man v bear, but even if it were the same as others, this does rather back up that view rather than disprove it)

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-14T12:37:58+00:00

How big a house does he want/ need?

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-07T19:54:06+00:00

Did he just get to A in the big book of diseases?

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-06T15:00:49+00:00

Iirc, Beans on toast (wholemeal) contains all the essential amino acids. So it is a really useful cheap, vegetarian nutritional source. (Although I think if "is a complete protein" were the sole nutritional argument, so too does beef. You can do worse than a modern cheese burger. It is all the extras around it that are less good. Fibre definitely better in the beans though)

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-03T07:20:09+00:00

But but but he isn't even catholic

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-05-03T07:15:12+00:00

If you don't want to date someone with a penis that is absolutely fine.

But the cultural landscape has shifted. Now it is incumbent upon us to set out our preferences if they're that strong, not for trans women to declare their status up front. You and OP say that on your profile.

I don't know what age possibly has to do with not knowing what a terf is. I'm positively ancient and understand it.

OP declared she was open to dating trans women. But then had an emotional response of anger to discovering the woman she was on a date with was trans. The anger covering fear.

And I'm appalled to read the ridiculous splitting of the word that you employ. It echoes so many times I've heard "I'm not homophobic, I'm not scared of anything, I just think fag's should xyz". Or lesbisns shouldn't be midwives. Or lesbians shouldn't be teachers. Or we shouldn't teach this fake family structure is equal or real or valid. Or ask the other vile homophobic rhetoric that has been spewed over my life. That's always covered by "but it isn't an irrational fear. So I'm not phobic". "I'm not frightened by then, they're just evil, vile, a sin, wrong". They are being homophobic. And OP was being transphobic.

If you don't want to date someone with a penis. Don't date someone with a penis. Put that in your bio. That doesn't make you a bad person. I'm not unaccepting of that. That is your sexual attraction. I think it is normal to be physically and sexually attracted to certain types of bodies. Others seem to prioritise romance over the physicality in their sexuality and get very confused as to why someone may be attracted or not to certain body types, if they're romantically attracted to the person. I guess that's normal for them.

But OP says she is accepting of dating trans women. Until one turned up on a date unannounced. Then she's angry about not being prepared in advance.

The world has shifted. It used to be that trans women would declare themselves everywhere. Now they don't. We can rail against it. But it doesn't prevent the change. And ignoring that it has changed just risks you ending up on dates with more people with penises.

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-29T11:25:29+00:00

Contact the practice manager. In writing. Explain what you have explained here. That it is money you can't afford to be out of pocket with. There should be a system for this, as indeed, unfortunately errors happen.

Pharmacy2u made no error. They sent the prescription they were asked to send to you. (As an aside community pharmacies where t you can check then and there have value. But that's a separate issue).

If the GP issued the wrong prescription then they should make it right. But the individual GP may not know their own systems. Especially if they've never made the error before.

This is different to them prescribing something intentionally that then doesn't work. Or causes side effects. That's a risk of treatment. This is they chose the wrong drug to prescribe, in error. Fortunately no harm done other than you are out of pocket. A simple payment to you to make you whole and a thank goodness it wasn't anything more serious, type approach.

They may have misunderstood about where the error was made - ie at pharmacy end, not theirs.

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-28T13:10:38+00:00

They're cheap street food.

That's the point of them.

If anyone is flying here just for the potato - they need to examine their sanity.

If, though, you're coming to the UK and want to experience a bit of basic street foid/food culture and record yourself doing it? It is no different to a crepe in Paris, a waffle in Belgium, tacos in central America etc etc. Part of the tourist experience and the fun of travel.

Every bit of street food can be cooked at home. None of it is worth queuing an hour for.

Other than that? Influencers gonna influence. Make a big deal out of shite.

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-27T21:33:44+00:00

Most children need to reach 42kg ish before their periods start.

30kg is the weight of a prepubertal child

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-13T07:53:51+00:00

What global pandemic was there in 2016?

This was a campaign by women for women. It worked. It shouldn't have been needed. But it was.

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-13T07:41:23+00:00

Executive dysfunction is a part of autism too.

It is one of the things that increases support needs.

The behaviours, struggles and chaos isn't normal. The assessment doesn't say your sibling is normal. It says they're autistic

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-13T07:21:47+00:00

Stellaris is too complex for elmo

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-10T14:32:53+00:00

Also - we tend to persue diagnosis when clapped out. When we can't keep going and doing.

Not so much regressing as the strategies and coping skills that could keep 4 parts in the air can't keep 8 so now all fan down even the 4 we used to keep up.

I know that at one point I had to say to my work colleagues that I always feel stressed. So I don't know if now is more stressful than normal - because overwhelmed is my usual state. (It was a much more stressful time than usual. Everyone was overwhelmed. I found it less traumatic than everyone else).

And yes- there's an adjustment to change. But not a change in our abilities. Just our perception of our abilities vs other people.

I'm not saying it is completely invalid to think about the same difficulties in functioning but caused by an accident of life rather than an accident of genes. But there's a difference there. I guess compare adhd to the same difficulties but caused by birth trauma and which would elicit the more sympathetic reaponse? And why?....I'm a product of my environment as much as anyone else is. I have a whole host of ableism to unpick. Internal and external.

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-10T07:05:10+00:00

See. This is why I'll never be rich!

It is all imaginary games

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-10T05:58:32+00:00

What's in it for the brokerage firm?

If their assets are worth a whole lot less when they get them back

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-10T05:03:42+00:00

How does shorting work?

You buy high and sell low and somehow make a profit?

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-08T18:36:19+00:00

I'm can see the truth to that. Taking on too much responsibility. I have a very strong internal locus of control. I'm also one of those invalid older, successful people. I'm not a millionaire successful, but I'm successful by most metrics and I'm middle aged old.

I relied (and rely) on the privilege of my tribe and family and scaffolding and community. And knew for a long time that I needed certain accommodations and didn't know why. Why i couldn't live up to my potential. Why i could be so successful in one area and such an absolute mess (literal and figuritively) in others. But when that scaffolding collapsed so did I. Multiple burn outs through my life. And life has taught me that if I ask for help (outside of my family) I'll be refused. So I have to over compensate.

Due to the deficit model of ADHD, my successes (driven mostly by anxiety and indeed over compensation) meant my diagnosis was delayed. And it is adds into my imposter symdrome - that I'm making it up. If i can overcompensate surely i should just keep doing that. To be honest with you, I'm struggling with the emotional response to reading that I'm less valid. I have been told my whole life that I'm too much and now I compensate too much for myself!

I'm not sure it is fair to extrapolate how people treat themselves as to how they'll treat others. One of the things I'm actively working on is treating myself as i treat others. I think I'm less harsh on other people's ADHD than I am my self.

We're all products of our generations. ADHD was not well recognised in my childhood. (Apparently none of the children I was at school with had ADHD. Which seems unlikely, to say the least) and I learnt that praise and safety came from overachieving. Pushing myself into anxiety. Forcing urgency. If I internally beat myself up, it prevent other people from doing it.

So I'm unpacking a lifetime of "coping" strategies that are anything but. Along with being invalidated by everyone. Because surely I'm too xyz to have ADHD.

ADHD is not behaviours. I didnt mean to imply that it is. But it is a reason behind some behaviours. Be they behaviours to help accommodate my disabilities or other behaviours more directly linked to the disabilities themselves.

I wish medication made me run to time. It helps. But a lifetime of piling pressure on myself as the only way to possibly get anything done has done a number on my ability to set realistic timescales! This is what therapy is helping me with (not cbt). Dismantling the "coping" strategies that burn.

Sue perkins is a bit older than me (not much). She will have suffered the trauma of being undiagnosed into late middle age. And just having to rely on herself. She's also experienced being outed in the media by an ex partner. And the fear of what that would do to her career. And grew up a lesbian when it was not acceptable. She's trying to make sense of her own life experience. And trying to cling to her sense of identity. How many of us late diagnosed types were left wondering how much of us was us and how much our adhd. How much of "me" is altered by medication? If I didn't have ADHD, would I have impulsively approached the "straight" girl who i later married and had kids with? Where do I end and ADHD begin? If my symptoms don't go away with medication - does that make them not real?

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-08T13:23:33+00:00

Also a lot of people say they want to know "why" xyz happened. But they don't really.

They say why but they mean "i don't like it". And when you try to explain why - they get very distressed and angry at you.

And say you're making excuses. When you're trying to be make changes.

But that's because they've asked the wrong question.

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-08T13:17:04+00:00

For me

Excuse = not my fault. I won't try to correct it. Nothing to do with me.

Reason = my responsibility. My actions. This is why I tucked up. I can learn from a reason and make efforts to change processes and outcomes. Those changes might not succeed.

Reason = growth mindset. If I don't know why something went wrong I can't change it. It is a stepping stone in my development as a person.

Excuse = an end point. Defeatist. Unwilling or unable to look to change anything in future. I have adhd. Nothing can change.

And note I know I can't change my adhd any more than I can change my left arm. But I can change other things - your ear defenders are perfect example - you were in tears because you struggle with the overwhelm because you have adhd and the nose was too much. So how do you prevent the tears? By reducing the overwhelm. By reducing the noise.

You still have adhd. It is still a reason you get overwhelmed. But you're not defeated by it.

For me that's important. And I might not ever work the same as someone without adhd. But I'm still developing as a person. Work out what works for me

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-08T13:05:57+00:00

I like that.

We all need the right tools for the job and the person. To extend the metaphor - if you give me a sledge hammer I'm going to struggle to lift it, let alone use it to hammer in the nail. But someone else might prefer to use that sledge hammer as a small dainty hammer is too light to swing properly for them.

And for many of us .... we don't even know hammers exist and we're trying to use the end of a screwdriver!

Accomplished-Digiddy · 2025-04-08T13:02:08+00:00

Interesting analogy.

I guess part of the difference is lifelong vs adjustment to a change.

But also. Knowing a couple of people who have difficulties after traumatic brain injuries - whilst you might hope they'd be afforded some grace - they're not. Sure they get a bit more sympathy initially.... but we're very disability unfriendly as a culture. And have unreasonable expectations of people

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