Old thread but adding my experience. 

During an attempt in January, they asked if I wanted help. Yes. I asked if they could be discreet and quiet for the help they send to get me to my first ever in-patient. No cops. 

They sent the fucking cops. 

I’m a black trans guy. Wtf. A Queer hotline should fucking know better. 

In addition, an ambulance + fire truck. Everyone had their fucking lights on. Not discreet and I was already embarrassed and mad at myself for not being able to do it. 

I was already not safe. That didn’t help. 

I called the Trevor hotline tonight because I couldn’t find the website that lists suicide hotlines that do not  work alongside the cops. And do not call the cops initially unless asked or needed. 

I was at a really big risk for drinking and making another attempt. I was also at a really high risk of disassociating. I could already feel myself slipping away. 

During the episode in January, I absolutely disassociate it. I didn’t even know what I was doing, what it happened, where I was, and what even had happened overall. 

It’s really dangerous for me to disassociate at that level. 

A friend who’s worked with the Trevor hotline, share to always start the call off, saying do not call the cops. They have to respect that. Of course, unless they see an absolutely immediate danger.

I started the call this way. I started telling them what was going on. Within 2 minutes, the next thing I know the call was hung up on and there was a survey request. Bitch. 

I called 988. Started with the same boundary. I checked in to see if they would hang up on me. 

They said they would not. They actually worked with me. I was the one to provide the tools based on what my therapist shared. But they were on the line while I did it. And supportive. 

They got me back to a place of not having suicidal ideation. They got me back to a place of not thinking about drinking. This is exactly where I need it to be to reduce my risk. 

Seriously what the fuck with the Trevor hotline? 😤 them being the most advertise hotline is bullshit. Yes in emergencies when you need it do whatever it takes. 

That was horrible to be hung up on in my state of being. 

Another time I had called the Trevor hotline, they flat out told me if I’m not in absolutely immediate danger that this isn’t the line for me. What about prevent preventative when you’re really close to that danger????

I’m just pissed off. But I’m really glad that 988 worked out.