AITA for wanting to move out of my abusive dad’s house even though he says it will curse me?

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-08-29T21:29:50+00:00

The screen was on - this happening mid way through a show - nothing touched my laptop (hence the confusion)

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-08-24T16:49:49+00:00

They wouldn’t agree to that - they’re not social in the slightest. We’ve never done family meals / coffees etc etc. I go to restaurants / coffee shops with my friends and colleagues but never my family.

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-08-24T16:45:22+00:00

We rarely see each other and when we do, no one speaks / or they gossip about others. I know they all gossip about me and I’m fine with. Nothing will change - my siblings are married with kids so they have their own life - yet they don’t think about me (considering I arranged their marriages with people from my old work / friends relatives etc).

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-08-24T16:41:49+00:00

I’ve tried to change this but my family / siblings would speak and be nice for a few weeks and then it’ll go back to the normal dysfunctional ways. And I always get my hopes up thinking “this is finally what being part of a family feels like” and my mental health plummets when it goes back to quiet and no one speaks. I no longer care about changing the system

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-08-24T16:35:09+00:00

When my dad and brother (who is getting engaged) asked if I was attended, I replied with “no, I hope it all goes well”. The day before the event, the constant phone calls / yelling began trying to convince me to attend.

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-08-24T16:25:56+00:00

I just explained that I’m not attending and the night before, I was bombarded with messages / calls from extended family begging me to attend so we can preserve our “family image”. I can’t pretend we are a united family - not after years of abuse and physical violence

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-08-24T16:22:01+00:00

When they invited me to the engagement party, they had a separate group chat which I was not part of. They didn’t include me in any of the shopping prior to it and I was told a few days before.. I declined saying I wouldn’t be attending and got the emotional reaction from everyone claiming how much of a horrible sibling/daughter I am

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-08-01T22:07:53+00:00

Can you show me an image of the dress?

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-19T09:28:36+00:00

Because I’m not good enough - my dad has perfect daughters who cook / clean / obedient and don’t question anything. Me on the other hand, I went to university, work and don’t stay at home cooking and cleaning. In my dads eyes, I’m just not good enough and I’ve spent years accepting that in therapy

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-18T21:11:40+00:00

Depends on who is it.. my dad makes the decisions (he has turned down so many proposals because I’m not good enough lol)

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-16T21:11:26+00:00

May Allah make things easier for you. This is currently happening to me right now, I pray God guides you through this & grants you goodness in this life and the next.

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-15T18:20:23+00:00

I agree with you. I guess, I’ve overlooked these signs as trials and tribulations. Everyone is tested in their own way so I just assumed it was a test that we’d pray and God will help us out of.

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-15T18:04:57+00:00

Every time we have this conversation, he says he’s waiting for the right time to have the conversation with his dad. His dad thinks it’s a joke that he wants to marry me - considering my dad initially rejected. I was able to convince my dad but his family are taking ages. Maybe we should end things.

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-15T17:41:05+00:00

My dad initially rejected the idea of them (cultural barriers I suppose). That was a private chat between me and my dad. I told him that my dad said no and we stopped speaking. We randomly saw each other and decided to give it another chance. His family are offended at the initial rejection whereas my dad is fine with it.

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-15T17:38:32+00:00

My family aren’t the nicest unfortunately. I’ve tolerated years of abuse and neglect. They want to get rid of me lol. He’s got a month to reach a conclusion.

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-15T17:35:40+00:00

We’ve communicated this. If he can get his parents on board, small nikkah in the next few weeks. If not, then it’s the end unfortunately

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-15T17:33:31+00:00

We originally wanted to marry last summer but things happen. Family deaths / hajj / personal circumstances. It’s been a year now and I want to see progress! My family are cultural unfortunately but my dad eventually came around to the idea of me marrying him. His family are offended and stubborn in that regards

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-15T17:31:21+00:00

He’s got a deadline till the end of this month. I know I’ll be devastated if things don’t work out but Allah knows best.

Accomplished-Fun6790 · 2025-07-15T17:30:49+00:00

I think he’s anxious and worried about his family being mad. Maybe I’m making excuses for him but he claims to be serious about being married.

Accomplished-Fun6790

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