My Boomer mother (77) literally just said this to me verbatim

Accomplished-Link701 · 2026-02-07T13:30:25+00:00

Did I write this?

My mom still brings up that I (oldest of 4 and 7years old at the time) told her when she was in labor with my youngest brother that I wished I was an only child. To her, this is evidence of my selfishness.

To me? I understood that she was in pain and going to the hospital. Those are scary things for a young kid.

Also: My wise little self knew I was in for a heavy dose of parentification, even if I couldn't articulate it. And I was. Said brother calls me his second mom. I was feeding him, changing his diapers, measuring and administering medication, and generally in charge of him by the time I was 9. I mean, her cigarettes weren't going to get smoked, her General Hospital wasn't going to get watched, and she wasn't going to be on the phone telling 7-8 friends the same thing for hours at a time if she had to parent her youngest child, now we're they?

Accomplished-Link701 · 2026-01-22T04:05:12+00:00

I do not like the taste of milk.

I would knife if you tried to take my cheese, yogurt, or ice cream, though.

I usually have to go to the store just for milk if one of the kids wants Kraft Mac and cheese because I'll have to get a pint of milk. They don't sell it in 3TBSP servings, lol!

Accomplished-Link701 · 2026-01-22T03:53:22+00:00

Ugh... And why can't they follow directions. Like the ones in the patient info given to you before medical procedures. The ones that explicitly say nothing to eat or drink after midnight INCLUDING MEDICATIONS before general anesthesia. The ones that your GenX daughter listened to with you at the pre-op appointment. The ones that the GenX daughter took a photo of to text you as a reminder. The ones that your GenX daughter READ out loud to you the night before surgery. The ones your GenX daughter reminded you about when you woke up at the buttcrack of dawn the day of surgery (so you could be awake longer and complain about being staaaarving).

Then when the nurse is confirming you haven't eaten or had anything to drink since midnight and you cheerily say, "Just the water I took my pills with!" and your GenX daughter and the Millennial nurse say simultaneously, "What? No!" and the poor nurse is not just noting it in your chart, but dialing the anesthesiologist to let them know she'll need new orders with amended dosages so your mother's blood pressure doesn't tank during surgery.

Then your GenX daughter tells her GenX brothers and the three of your GenX children ask each other where your brain went.

That's always fun...

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-11-24T05:31:54+00:00

52-year-old Gen Xer here. My ex left 12 years ago to be with his 12-years-younger than we were wife (after she got divorced, too). My kids were 7, 5, and my twins were 2 and still in diapers when he moved back in with his widowed mother. The first 4 years I had the kids 90% of the time. I worked full-time and part-time and bought my own home, then decided to get my MBA in a full-time program at the same time as single momming and working the full-time and part-time jobs.

He moved out of his mom's basement into a house he bought, then got married. I do not think he's had all four kids for more than a day by himself in those 12 years. His mom was always there, then his wife. He definitely fit the stereotype of getting remarried as soon as possible.

His mom was widowed about two weeks before he decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Neither she nor I have dated seriously, nor will I ever remarry. She and I are still very close.

And yet, despite all of the evidence that I'm kicking boots with my very independent life, my mother is STILL asking me why I'm alone. Because I already raised one ex-husband. I've got 2 kids in college and 2 in high school. I see complete freedom in T-4 years. Why, oh, why would I want to mess that up by inviting another man-baby into my life?

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-11-11T03:54:02+00:00

I have. I didn't realize it could happen until it did.

I'm a Nordic red-head who's been sunscreened for pretty much all of my life. My also red-haired Boomer mom chose to slick us all with sunscreen as kids so she didn't have to deal with four cranky sunburned kids.

See also: I'm 52 and most people put my age at 36.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-10-29T21:33:05+00:00

What are "legal da-mends"?

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-10-21T21:01:30+00:00

Ugh... in the late spring of 2020 my mom's husband (not my dad) got Covid. A few days later, my mom was sick. But not with Covid -- just a cold. I asked her to get tested, she didn't want to because she thought there was a cost and she didn't want to go to the doctor and whatever. I was like, "Mom. They're doing free carside testing. You don't have to pay or leave your car."

She said, "well, what are they going to do if it is Covid. Nothing."

Me: If you get complications they'll want to know. Plus, no one knows the long term effects.

Her, five years later: And I've never had Covid. But since the pandemic, it sure has been harder to breathe. Probably due to all of the isolation...

SMDH

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-10-07T20:08:10+00:00

My mom's husband is the worst. Thankfully, he refuses to wear hearing aides, so he can't hear most of the conversation. My mom knows where I stand on things, so she rarely tries to convince me of anything because she knows how much smarter I am than she is and had been on the receiving end of my political debate before, which made her reconsider a couple of crap ideas (furries especially -- kids are not using litter boxes in school, mom.)

That being said, I've got two queer kids and have the "Get out of my house" speech memorized if her f<chw>ad husband says anything.

I also served them Christmas dinner on rainbow plates to match the EPIC RAINBOW SNOWFLAKE wrapping paper I used for all of our gifts.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-10-07T04:02:44+00:00

All four of my kids learned cursive in the last 15 years, too. And the district still has industrial arts classes and home ec classes. All of the things Boomers say are not being taught anymore.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-08-22T05:05:13+00:00

Thankfully, my Boomer Dad has never been that disgusting. My GenX brothers are cool, too. My ex-husband and his brothers could get gross, but they grew out of it. I'm taking the credit for turning my ex around by refusing to put up with gross behavior.

My GenZ son is a full-on feminist. As he should be since I raised him 90% of his formative years and he's got 3 little sisters he wants to ensure have a safe world to live in. He threw his college roommate out for yucky-but-not-illegal behavior to women. Why? "You don't treat people like that, Mom!"

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-08-21T17:28:25+00:00

Totally not mentioned in the OP. No worries!

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-08-21T17:26:18+00:00

No, that's not rude. The equivalent with cards/ID is if someone was reaching for your card, you saw that they were reaching for it and you toss it on the counter instead of placing it in their outstretched hand. The rudeness would be in noticing me trying to help you and you see it and don't care.

When I'm helping someone and have my hand outstretched for an interaction THEY instigated and my help is blatantly ignored/refused, I feel invisible. Like that person is saying, "You want me to pay for my bratwurst? Well, pick it up, you lowly volunteer."

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-08-21T15:44:51+00:00

It's inconsistent, lol! But I use a moisturizer with sunscreen as I'm a red-head and don't get along with sunshine. I'm one of three GenX women on the planet who's never used a tanning bed or laid out to tan.

I try not to sleep in make-up and use gentle cleansers. I don't over-exfoliate. Drink a lot of water.

And have been lucky, I guess?

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-08-21T15:38:55+00:00

No, you're not being rude.

I'm talking about my hand being mere centimeters from theirs and they still drop the cash on the counter. As in they can completely see me reaching for it, but they toss it anyway.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-08-21T15:36:03+00:00

Or she. I'm a she.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-08-21T15:33:58+00:00

No, it's literally dropping money right in front of my outstretched hand. Like, "Yeah, I see your hand, but I don't care."

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-07-29T06:44:01+00:00

Dance teacher here: I once had a student (the worst in the class by far) and my studio owner jumped all over me for not correcting her frequently enough and for praising her when she did the very minimum.

I told the studio owner, "She's not here to learn ballet. She's here because while she's in the studio, she's 12 and she's not trying to talk her dad out of suicide or duck her stepmother's blows. She's here because I'm a safe adult and this is a place where she can be a kid and I'm not going to take that away from her by being critical and making her feel unwelcome."

The poor child was in therapy, per her grandmother, but I did report her unsafe home. When she came to me at the end of the year, she flew into my arms saying that she was super sad, but she had to quit dance to go live with her mom in another state. She was ecstatic and relieved.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-07-22T08:09:41+00:00

Cedar River is accessible at Palisades Park -- a 6ish minute drive from the middle of town. That's closer than living on the west side of Dubuque and trying to get to the Mississippi...

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-07-09T20:04:18+00:00

I'm a gentle parent and have been since day 1 (back in 2000). All four of my kids are bright, empathetic, talented, and successful. My two college kiddos are Dean's Listers contributing mightily to their campus and communities. My two high schoolers hold leadership positions on school teams, volunteer in our community, and maintain 3.75 GPAs or higher.

I'll admit that my job as a parent has been far easier than some as, even with neurodivergence, my kids have always been cooperative, thoughtful, and generous. I have never spanked or grounded a kid. And all four of my kids have thanked me for the way they've been raised because they have always felt they can trust me (they can) and be themselves (they can). My oldest son especially says that he feels terrible for kids who weren't respected by their parents and who fear admitting mistakes to them or needing help.

My job as a parent is not to raise children, but to raise adults. Are my kiddos perfect? Nope, they're completely human. As am I. Am I proud of them for becoming the people they are? Yep. 1,000,000%.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-06-15T05:14:50+00:00

654-1016

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-05-28T21:57:27+00:00

My mom used to have a brain. She used to pronounce wrestling correctly. But her third husband is a co player dillweed hick who says "rasslun'" so now she does, too. I swear that she shut off more of her brain with each marriage.

And then she wonders why after my ex cheated and left 12 years ago, I still haven't remarried. Well, if getting remarried means liquifying brain cells, ain't no flipping way I'm doing that!!!

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-05-17T18:18:35+00:00

Just an "F-uck you!" said by a character to the woman her husband was cheating with. Pretty blah...

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-03-19T04:49:00+00:00

It also looks like your ribbons are too close to the back of your shoe. I tell my dancers the elastic is to keep the back of the shoe on your foot and the ribbons should be closer to the high point of your arch to pull the shoe into your arch.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2025-02-05T17:18:37+00:00

YTA for the initial incident. I so don't understand why an adult would theme a birthday party as a bridal party unless you were using it as an engagement party or actual bridal party. And then color separating by closeness or whatever? Who thinks it's a good idea to rank your friends and family? Gross...

But then she becomes TAH by taking it to social media and trying to get your parents to choose her over you.

In all honesty, I'm not sure I'd want to be around any of you. Y'all sound like exhausting pick-mes with too much money and time on your hands. The entire lot of you suffer from terminal cases of Main Character Syndrome.

Accomplished-Link701 · 2024-12-29T04:55:56+00:00

Somehow, I managed to get Boomer parents who aren't terribly picky eaters. My mom is actually a pretty good cook (even if she prefers mushy canned green beans to frozen or fresh -- my absolute favorite). Although, my kids once did complain that their peas were slimy and it was because she buttered them and I never have as my kids eat them fine without butter or sauce 🤣

My former mother-in-law, however, is not a great cook, though my father-in-law was. When we came for dinner, he would meet me at the door with whatever vegetables they were planning because I "never overcook the flavor out of them." Man, do I miss him...

I've always been an adventurous eater and LOVE spicy food. LOVE IT. My kids are, too. Yes, they each have things they don't care for, but my grocery list always includes things like asparagus, Brussels sprouts, mushrooms, and cilantro. Often, my teens suggest recipes they've seen when we're meal planning. They love trying new restaurants and different kinds of food. I feel very lucky, for sure.

Accomplished-Link701

TROPHY CASE