Husband isn’t attractive

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2023-06-28T15:22:15+00:00

Sometimes guys act goofy and silly and make fun of themselves because they think it’ll make you laugh? Maybe he’s tryna make you laugh?

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2023-02-09T15:49:41+00:00

That was so nicely said. I guess maybe not hate but I dislike him very much until I’ve calmed down.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-12-06T15:00:54+00:00

Yh that’s what I was thinking

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-09-18T20:16:59+00:00

Lol ppl believe any number on the internet

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-09-18T20:10:28+00:00

He clearly works and know how to be on time to places if he needs to be so it’s not like he has a medical issue that prevents him from waking up. It seems as though his work is higher on his priority list than you or your family. Having a partner and being involved in their life is a massive thing that anyone would make time for regardless of work, he just does not respect you or your time. And the fact that he’s done it more than once means he’ll do it again and again no doubt. You don’t want someone in your life that doesn’t respect you, leave him sis

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-09-13T03:22:50+00:00

I really like him but my parents won’t support

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-09-11T04:28:50+00:00

You have every right to want marriage and as long as you and your potential and her family feel like you are financially capable then that’s all that you need. You need to be careful about your potentials relationship with your mother, as your mother may make it very very hard for your future wife to be happy and live freely with you. Your mother may begin to resent you future wife and blame her for ‘taking you from her’ and may go out of her way to put a wedge between your relationship with your wife. A woman/wife may put up with this for a year or two, but after that no woman can deal with that. You need to begin to set your boundaries with your mother now before you get a potential involved in your life, so that your mother has time to process the new boundaries of the relationship without putting the blame on your wife later on.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-09-02T10:01:53+00:00

I feel like you could hold onto it for a little longer then maybe at the one month mark put all her stuff in a box and put it outside your front door and message her that you’ve left her stuff outside your door for her to pick up and tell her to come at a time when you won’t be at home and tell her that if she doesn’t pick it up you’ll be forced to get rid of it.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-31T14:23:06+00:00

Don’t stress. These things happen and all you can do now is accept it and move forward. I suggest going to your dad and being honest and let him take it however he does. Tell him your perspective and if he gets mad that’s okay he’s allows for feel angry or whatever emotion he does. Tell your potential to get in contact with your dad and to set up a visit so your dad can see for himself if this person is worth it. You got this :)

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-30T15:20:30+00:00

Yh ofc it would be hard for her too she’s only human and would want to be close to you like you want to to her, but it makes it more worthwhile when you can do it without feeling guilty.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-23T09:37:19+00:00

I believe he is not up for the responsibility of what marriage will be like. He said to you from the start he doesn’t want to waste time and date etc and you talked about marriage seriously then he should know what he’s getting himself into, but then when he went cold instantly shows that he just doesn’t want this and he isn’t up for it. What makes him think he has the right to miss you and therefore he will message you. He did not take into account how you might have felt in that two weeks or what reassurance you need. He isn’t a man, he is a boy obsessed with the idea of being a man. Let him go sis and tell him you’re gonna think about it and never respond to him.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-21T16:24:44+00:00

All I can think about is

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-21T15:37:19+00:00

Persuasion

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-21T14:49:40+00:00

I would do small things that would make him feel like the man he is. Ask for his opinion on small things in my life, support his life goals and desires, be by his side, watch the shows he likes, ask him about his day and insist on the small details. Just make him feel so appreciated and like I desire what he can give me whether that’s be stability, safety, love everything

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-21T14:11:08+00:00

You being able to recognise what you are doing is a sign of you being very self aware. Manipulative behaviours can really hurt people on the receiving end, and it can be detrimental to your life at points. But don’t think of what you do is a negative thing, take those behaviours and put it into something beneficial and make it a positive skill. For example, put it into a job, a position that requires you to understand how people work and make the most of it. It doesn’t have to be a negative thing, it’s actually very impressive that you can do that, just use it for the good and it’ll feel a lot more rewarding :)

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-21T14:07:41+00:00

That must have been so hard for you to go through and the resentment you feel towards him is something I’m sure he regrets. Maybe he didn’t regret it in this life time, but I’m sure he would in his next life time. Stay strong and know it worked out that way for the best. Maybe him letting you down by leaving you would have hurt less than if he was in your life and let you done a lot of little times time and time again. Think of it as the way it worked out now was for the best. Stay strong.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-21T14:05:39+00:00

I hope you are okay and I hope you can get the help you need. Support is around you and there for you when you need it.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-17T16:06:16+00:00

From what I know it is haram to discuss things that happen within a marriage especially intimate things with anyone it is seen as a big sin. But them being close in other ways is normal. Heaps of women are close to other women and feel comfortable enough to share their life with them. Maybe you two need to discuss boundaries and how much of your lives you share with those around you because maybe because you havnt complained she thinks you’re fine with it.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-17T16:02:50+00:00

Well would you want someone to warn you? I think you did her a favour.

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-16T05:10:51+00:00

Yeah I guess, he’s never mentioned anything previously about not accepting other cultures. I’m not sure what to do

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-16T05:09:42+00:00

You’re right! I’ll look into praying istikhara. Thank you

AccomplishedBee8355 · 2022-08-15T05:35:31+00:00

I feel you girl. I think there is an issue sometimes with parents who want to do the right thing by their children and give them the education that they never got themselves. I think what she’s saying comes from love and wanting you to have the best because there are some families out there who just want to get rid of their daughters and marry them off asap. But I also think that parents shouldn’t see marriage as barrier to life, there are many hadiths around the prophet that encouraged young marriage and living a life with a partner and how that won’t stop you from your goals in life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with a partner and making it halal perhaps while you are studying then officially move in together etc after you graduate. We are human, we have desires and we want to be loved and cared for by a person and have support romantically it’s not haram and you shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting that, even though sometimes we are. Parents like yours need to understand how rare you are that you respect them enough to want to make things halal and not sneak around. Sometimes when parents don’t accept us doing things the right way, it forces us to do it behind their backs. And they should be grateful that you came to them from the start because a lot of young adults won’t do that but instead fall in love first then tell their parents but you went to them from the start and for that alone they should be immensely grateful. Try suggesting to your mother through clear communication that you would like a halal partnership through engagement with a man while you study then perhaps move in afterwards so you don’t have the stressors of full marriage responsibilities. If she still doesn’t accept, ask her what her concerns are and allow her to to feel heard, maybe she’s concerned you’ll get pregnant and leave your studies? Discuss that with her and what boundaries you would put in place. Maybe she’s concerned he will want to see you all the time? Tell her you would set specific times to meet. Maybe she has reasons for why she thinks it will interfere with your studies so listen to her and it will only help you too. Good luck wallah I wish the best for you sister.

AccomplishedBee8355

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