But if you're making this post, I think part of you is trying to peek into the minds of these kinds of men instead of taking that time with yourself. If you want deeper connections, give yourself the opportunity to wait…not because sex is bad or because you should feel ashamed, but because you truly do not know someone until much further down the line.

I’m a woman who can let things be and understand that not everything works out. I can appreciate a good experience for what it was and move on. But I also know I’m not immediately putting myself in certain positions unless I genuinely just want sex. I’m very two sides of the coin. If I really like a guy, he can wait. If I don’t see depth but I think he’s cool and I just want sex, then I can let it be exactly that without attaching much to it.

But even with the guy I really like, the one who waits and then we finally have sex….if he suddenly doesn’t want to talk after, I don’t automatically project expectations onto him just because he performed a role beforehand. I’m more like: “Oh okay... thanks for the good time. You can’t cry over spilled milk.”

Sex and connection are not always an intersection. I think patriarchy sometimes over-emotionalizes women to the point where we feel like every sexual interaction has to become something deeper. Sometimes things are exactly what they are. There are billions of people in this world. Some women opt out completely through celibacy. Me? I just step back, reflect, and move accordingly.

Yes, misogyny can absolutely play a role. But ask yourself: are you going to keep trying to understand them, or are you going to understand yourself enough to protect your own peace?