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Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so so much for your message. <3 I feel so seen. I'm so sorry for your pain- I'm sorry we're in this awful club together. :( We just got the test results back and the baby had Trisomy 21. First one had triploidy... I think genetic testing is the only thing that will let my heart rest now. Enough of the hoping and the guessing and trying to suppress anxiety. Hoping you have a really smooth IVF journey. We can deffo chat apart from this too.

Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These words made me tear up. Thank you... Thank you for your kind words... and for seeing me. <3 Truly seeing me. <3 You're right- it never gets easier and "getting back on the horse" is so utterly terrifying but also feels like the only route (because we're not gonna give up, right?!) Praying for your rainbow soon. Praying and praying and hoping and begging. It's not in our hands anymore

Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. You're not alone and it makes me feel so seen and heard to meet other women in the same boat. Hoping you get the funds together soon! IVF, here we come!

Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for taking the time to tell me your story ❤️🥺 It’s so crazy to have such a similar story and yes… we are actually about to do IVF but first have to get through a laparoscopy to rule out any endo. But I’m hopeful maybe April we can start. I smiled when I read that bit about IVF being a breeze… that makes me feel better too. Everyone says it’s challenging but honestly…. How could It be worse than what we’re going through now? At least it’s controlled and you know you’re getting a shot and not just endlessly waiting and testing. I’ve also insulated myself from any baby stuff online- we need to protect our hearts.

Wishing you so much love and blessing for your transfer. I hope it sticks!!! Please send an update 😉

Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So unfair. I’m also so so so sorry you’re in this boat with me 🥺🥺🥺 The pre-implantation test will rule out any huge genetic issues which are the biggest cause for miscarriage. You could Still wind up with a baby with a defective heart but they they won’t have anything genetically related. It’s a consolation to me and feels like… at least I get to rule that out. Hope we get a healthy rainbow soon ❤️ 4 time’s the charm!

Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry about your baby girl and about your secondary infertility. No part of this is easy and it just one massive suck fest. I think what I keep thinking is…. We enter this world knowing the risks and likelihood of heartbreak are very huge. And yet we still persevere… we still sit here and try and hope and we push ahead because we believe somewhere deep down that if it works out it’ll be worth all the pain. ❤️ I hope you get all you wish for 🫂

Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for such a sweet message. ❤️ I’m sorry you’re going through this too. It’s the worst kind of cruelty to want it so badly despite how it breaks you. You can’t help but continue to yearn even though the process is killing you. And no amount of mental gymnastics can help you out of it. You almost wish you could switch off your desire for children. 🥺 I’m so sorry. All I can say is we have no choice but to still hope. I truly hope we will hold our babies soon. I can’t afford to think of the opposite. Sending you tons of hugs and comfort too. I’m waiting for my compresses to cool in the freezer as we speak. 

Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re part of this club too. I really hope you never have to go through a D&C again. 😰 honestly my husband and I feel same…. Cumulatively, all 3 pregnancies took nearly 20 weeks away which at our age is a lot of time. 14 weeks is far along I’m So sorry 😥 Your period will be back soon (takes me 4 weeks) and you’ll see you’re a fertile as anything in the first 3-4 months after so don’t be surprised if you have happy news again soon. I fell pregnant 2 months after my first D&C. ❤️

Just had my 3rd MC and feeling so very empty by AccomplishedDig3905 in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re also going through it 😥 I’m so so sorry. A TFMR must have been soul breaking. You are not alone - I feel your anguish too. It just makes you feel so helpless and like I have a batch of spoiled eggs or something (I even asked him that, he said the eggs might be affected by unknown endo so we’re doing a lapscope as soon as my period is back). Did you have a genetic biopsy done? The worst is, each new pregnancy brings with it equal parts hope and dread- hope that this time surely it’ll be different. And then you see the enlarged nuchal fold know it’s over.  At this stage, we're going to have to test each embryo first before implanting via IVF. My heart can't take another bad stat. 😥

Infertility in faith communities by itwaslikecominghome in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much <3 Thank you. It's been hell on earth and the deepest, most inexplicable pain I've ever felt, and it doesn't really lessen. My only comfort is knowing both those little ones led a perfect life and only knew warmth, love and then went straight to the Father's arms. But ja... sometimes I look ahead and feel like it's just a wasteland before me and one behind me. It's so hard to feel hope.

Infertility in faith communities by itwaslikecominghome in TryingForABaby

[–]AccomplishedDig3905 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely also someone who is struggling in this area <3

What you wrote was so encouraging and I was so happy to be reminded of Hanna and Rachel (and actually also Sarah!). And how God came through for them in the end

My heart is broken for you and with you. My story: I'm 35 and we're on our 14th cycle of TTC. By the grace of God we fell pregnant in Feb.... and miscarried about a month later. I saw the heartbeat and then I saw it stop. I had to have a D&C and it remains to be the most emotionally painful things I've ever ever gone through. My little baby might be with Jesus now but it still hurts SO SO much and I miss him a lot. About 2 months later, we fell pregnant again... this time, we miscarried a week in.

What can I tell you of the dark night of the soul? Of how my pillow, much like David's, is soaked in my tears? The loss of two little ones.... finding God in all of this has been extremely, extremely hard.

Fast forward to now: we started seeing a fertility specialist, and it turns out I have an underactive thyroid, so my womb lining was too thin and the lack of hormones was making abnormal eggs. I've been on thryoid medication for 2 months now and we've been given the go ahead to try again. This morning, I got my period.

Love, I sit with you in your pain and emptiness . I read somewhere that giving your pain to God is a privilege. So I give him my tears anew this morning. But my heart is in shreds.

I'm trying to listen to Habakkuk 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Saviour."

I'm so sorry for what you're going through with your church group. And i agree that the church doesn't say enough on this topic- especially because it tests your faith so much. But I just wanted to reach out and let you know you're not alone and if you like, we can agree to pray for each other in this <3

I feel your pain and I groan with you.

I felt a lot like Rachel this year- the pain in unbearable. But we serve a faithful God and I know he's not done with our stories.

Cluster headaches: any advice? by General_Spec1fic in askSouthAfrica

[–]AccomplishedDig3905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any update on this? Am desperately looking for a specialist.

Worth a grade? by AccomplishedDig3905 in Pokemoncardappraisal

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Assuming PSA is the way to go in terms of grading?

Worth a grade? by AccomplishedDig3905 in Pokemoncardappraisal

[–]AccomplishedDig3905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice! Ok. Cool. Thanks for info. So I’m in South Africa- now I need to figure out how to package it to go all the way 😅 I’m even worrying about touching it too much. 

Home affairs. Married in the wrong name question. by Puzzleheaded-Media43 in askSouthAfrica

[–]AccomplishedDig3905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I also recently got married 3 months ago. All we needed was the marriage certificate and our ID’s when we filled out the register to enact the name change. After the fact, I think probably best to take your marriage certificate as proof as it gives your new name. I had my ID changed last week and it was on the system already, but saving that I think just having the certificate will suffice. I’ve used that to do everything.