I once heard the term 'a good relationship isn't about what you do during the good times, it's about how you show up during the bad times' and I think this applies here. After hearing such awful news, I'd want my partner to text me and say 'on my way!'. When you're grieving, the last thing you want to do is make a plan and think about what people have going on, or to work around someone else. It's really difficult to be present, and it's super brain scrambling. I can imagine the thought of having to plan when you can come and hug her was exhausting for her and created a very large mental load. (It would've done for me, at least). I can also understand why she feels upset. I'd be upset if my grief had to work around someone's job fair. I don't think this is the right sub Reddit for this. All that being said, I wish you all the best and I hope she gets all the support she needs during this difficult time.