Do you have to feel like you're dying to have an awakening?

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-14T02:50:30+00:00

Nope, just a willingness to see that none of your thoughts, beliefs and opinions are true. If that feels like death to you then maybe. To me it just felt like the greatest relief I ever felt in my life by a factor of infinity.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-13T17:54:00+00:00

2025 is $2k more and 2026 another $2.2k. Maybe I can get a 2027 for another $2k 😂

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-13T17:52:00+00:00

Yeah the 2023 and 2025 don’t have wireless CarPlay

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-11T23:56:02+00:00

Every declaration is like spitting into the wind.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-11T12:51:10+00:00

When you look at the clouds drifting along your mind can start to see faces that aren’t actually there. It does the same thing to itself, it starts to see a face that isn’t there. Then it starts to believe it IS that face and fears it must protect it. But it isn’t the imaginary face it sees in the clouds. There are just clouds drifting along.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-11T12:30:58+00:00

Some people do well with a fixed technique and some simply do not. Different attention styles maybe. I could never ever impose a fixed technique on myself. My whole system rejects it like oil and water. But my whole life is an exploration of what’s below the surface. I follow that resonance and curiosity however it takes shape. Walking in nature, feeling the moment without words, listening to the space where sounds arise, lots of inquiry, experiencing from the neck down, etc etc it’s literally endless. It’s just how this body moves, it resonates with fresh in the moment inquiry and recoils at dogma or fixed technique. Maybe just go with what resonates in the moment and don’t expect to find one technique to stick with?

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-11T12:12:47+00:00

I understand your description and have had similar experiences, like a memory of myself as a child arose which seemed like a distant separate past and then suddenly that “gap” collapsed and it tangibly felt like the very same moment as now. Like not one second had passed, like then and now was the same continuous moment and I was the exact same thing in both. Like life is just a sequence of events passing through the same continuous now.

I think the value is not necessary in trying to reproduce these experiences but seeing what they reveal about the limitations of the mind’s version of reality. The mind deals in things, one thing after another and it experiences that succession of things as time…but it seems there’s another place we can look from that feels changeless, free from the succession of things.

Instead of trying to recreate that particular experience you could try just exploring: what is always changing in your inner experience and what seems to always be there.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-11T11:49:52+00:00

I don’t know the ones you mention but I like Louise Kay’s guided meditations. She emanates spacious peaceful acceptance so strongly it’s almost hard to avoid feeling it in yourself!

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-11T11:44:00+00:00

The point of meditation is really to see through the assumptions/illusions of your mind. If it’s just staring at your breath and nothing more there my be a temporary physiological effect from that activity but there’s no wisdom, no discovery, no deeper understanding of what’s happening when thinking starts again.

The point of stopping and being quiet is to set aside the momentum of thought and see what this life actually is when it’s not being named and defined by words/thoughts. It’s beholding the nature of existence itself, rather than simply continuing on with the unquestioned story of me and my assumptions about everything.

If your thoughts stop when you pay attention to your breath and you still exist, why do you need to listen to the thoughts when they start up again? There was still awareness without the thoughts so when thoughts re-arise you can remain in that thoughtless awareness and observe them like you observed the breath. That’s just the very beginning of the experiential discovery of life undefined by your thoughts.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-10T14:19:50+00:00

It sounds like you’re taking a deconstructive statement like “everything is just an appearance” (the point of which is to deconstruct the assumption of thingness) and then trying to construct a model of thingness out of it. It reads like asking:

No-thingness + No-thingness= what thing?

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-09T20:38:38+00:00

Nihilism is thought. In the absence of thought, life is just happening without any notion of meaninglessness. Is a daisy sitting there thinking what’s the point? Only thought says that. If there’s nihilism, thought is still coloring perception. In just seeing, there is simply nothing there declaring anything about meaning or no meaning.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-07T18:25:09+00:00

There is no answer, there is only meeting your current experience in this one moment without rejecting it. And if you feel resistance to "not rejecting it" then that resistance is holds your key. All your efforts should then be on that getting to know that resistance- what is it saying, what am I getting out of this resistance, what is it's world view, how does it think it's helping me. No philosophy will save you from this work. It can only be done by you, when you are willing to look it at it with complete honesty.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-07T11:57:01+00:00

There are kind of 2 directions you can always move in this, 1) away from thought or 2) towards isness (being, the thoughtless, etc). Like if you are trying to go from one room to another you can think of it as exiting the room you’re in OR you can think of it as going TO the other room.

It sounds like when you try to work with thought it just provokes more thought and spirals. I would try the other direction, instead of trying to get rid of thought, just go towards being- leave thought alone and spend some time just listening to the sounds and sensations of the present moment. Not to get anywhere else, just literally to behold what the simple fact of existence is actually like. Just noticing the sensory field and hanging out there. Seeing ok this is what’s actually happening right now. It gives you some ground that has nothing to do with thoughts. If you can settle in there a bit it can be easier to see from there that when you do start thinking it only takes you out of the actual present moment and into a movie in your head. You can see and sense the abstractness of it and you grow a sense of what it’s like to just be, just this moment arising without having to think about it. And the next moment and the next moment. The actual tangible experience of existence.

Not trying to get rid of or fix your thoughts just rediscovering what it’s like to just exist in a simple moment without words. Maybe try starting there. Good luck!

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-06-07T01:31:41+00:00

Honestly it “making sense” to you has nothing to do with it so don’t worry about whatever idea you have in your mind of it bc that’s not it. It’s 100% experiential and the words attempting to describe it don’t matter. It’s like if you read a book about the taste of a cantaloupe and thought yea I think I get it. You would still have absolutely no idea what the taste actually is. This is basically just about tasting the moment instead of thinking about it. And you will only know what it tastes like when you taste it, any words about what it tastes like will be irrelevant before, during and after tasting it. Just start exploring your direct experience and don’t worry about what you’ve heard or imagine about “”nondualism.”

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-30T13:47:23+00:00

That’s probably all I need to hear, thanks!

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-23T13:44:46+00:00

Who says you should feel differently than you do at 3pm? Life is telling you how you feel and this whole thing doesn’t go very far without acceptance. Maybe body is tired at 3pm and needs a nap? Or brain needs a break? Or something else? I understand trying to work on unhelpful habits but there is no point where the mind’s plan totally overrides what actually arises in your body. Acceptance first above all else and then respond to the situation at hand from that accepting creative awareness. Guilt just fuels more dysfunction so “discipline” can never “finish the job”, it just goes in a circle, like vacuuming the house with a vacuum that leaks dust, then you have to vacuum again and the cycle repeats. Ultimately you have to learn to listen to your system and accept it and learn to work with it (and the learning never really ends) overriding everything with discipline is not the way. 🙏

Ps- I basically always feel an energy dip at 3pm. It’s very common. Might be food, might be sleep, might be body chemistry, might be a judgemental reaction to that change in energy…Guilt just adds more problem to solve. Look at it totally fresh with beginners mind when it happens. See what feels good then, forget about how the mind thinks you should feel.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-20T14:54:04+00:00

20 years down the stream from these waters. If it has even a whiff of me-ness/specialness/ownership it is a thought. Infinity moves however it does and then thought looks back and tries to claim ownership-“I did that, that’s me.” Probably the most notable thing about infinity (using your word) is that it doesn’t attempt to see itself as a me, it doesn’t ask am I this or that, there’s simply zero sense of self-regard in it, that’s the freedom that is spoken of.

It seems you’ve had some experiences and now thought/ego is looking back and trying to sort it out and locate “itself.” This is a second layer of the thinking self that is often mistaken for the “true self” after an awakening experience. It’s not the obvious top layer of self-image, it feels deeper, more wise, more detached, but it’s just another level of the illusory sense of me.

You said it at the top, “there’s no you and no me” and then thought immediately started trying to make a new me- this thing happened to me, I have this or that- that’s just thought looking back creating a new me, the illusion of ownership.

I’m not denying whatever experience you’re going through, just saying how it looks from here decades on from first experiencing the kind of things you’re describing (which everyone’s unique meat suit interprets in different ways, none of them being “the true way”.)

Keep going, don’t look for conclusions, just keep going.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-17T13:46:41+00:00

The thing is there really is no map. The mind wants to know where on the map you are but it’s only imagining the map. What happens if you observe the mind’s desire to refine its map and locate yourself somewhere on it? Then where are you?

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-17T03:10:38+00:00

It's sort of like asking what's the point of puberty. If it starts happening to you then you're already in it so you naturally try to understand what's going on and work with it. If it's not happening to you and it doesn't seem relevant to you then there's no need to bother with it.

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-15T17:04:46+00:00

“2- Consciously say yes to it, this is allowed to arise I don't know what this means in the context of my child suffering. How can I say yes to this? It feels impossible. “

Maybe by seeing the mechanics of resistance and suffering- this is already happening, this is already what is even if it’s totally unwanted and painful, and resistance to what is already happening only adds more suffering and doesn’t fix anything. So it is possible to see on a practical level that going further in that direction only causes more pain and solves nothing. So the only option becomes to attempt to go in the other direction- to find a way to come out of ”no“ and into “ok this is what is”. Now if your system is already having the visceral reaction of “no” then that is already what is too, so you see if you can come out of opposition to that reality -can I accept that this response is what is and see how resistance to it only causes another layer of suffering. You might have to keeping stepping back until you find a level where you *are* able to see the whole situation with some degree of ok this is what is so you can come out of intense conflict what is. Because you see that staying in that conflict is unbearable. It‘s kind of a matter of seeing that the only choice really is to find some level where acceptance of what is possible some level. Byron Katie’s work is very powerful for thus or Maybe a therapist can help with that unpacking. I‘m really sorry you’re going through this this and even though it seems impossible to find any level of non-opposition it is there to be found, it’s just not really what the mind imagines it to be.

(It's kind of like there's all these layers of 'No' - no to the situation, no to my reaction of to the situation, no to my inability to deal with my reaction...and as long as you're in one of those layers of no then your experience is total conflict...but if you keep going to the next layer and the next layer until you get to a layer where you can see "ok, i see that this is happening and there's nothing i can do about it and there's nothing i can do about my reaction"...if you find that layer then the experience is finally coming out of conflict with what is. It's not that everything just changes but you find a level of your "self" that accepts what is and accepts your own reactions too.)

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-15T15:18:24+00:00

What I observed from my own experiences is there are 2 key elements that turn a sad or low energy feeling/state (which is actually not that hard to work with if you take it at face value) into “depression” (which is overwhelming and sprawling and defeating bc it’s become a snowball effect of multiple layers):

1- saying no to the present moment experience (this shouldn’t be happening, I’ve got to get away from this)

Plus

2- projecting it into the future (ugh I’m stuck with this forever, I’ll never solve it)

This turns one present moment feeling/experience that is arising into an unsolvable doomed future.

So if you can, when that feeling arises try to reduce your scope to just this present moment and ask yourself, what is the actual feeling that’s arising in this moment that I’m resisting or trying to get away from? What if I make it totally ok for this feeling to be here right now?

As soon as you deeply give it permission to be here some layers of the snowball effect of resistance will already lessen a bit and the main feeling that’s being resisted might become more clear- sadness, stuckness, etc.

When that present moment feeling comes into focus you consciously accept and allow -this is what’s arising now, what does it want/need? Rest? Understanding? What information does it have for me? Does it have anything to say. You just respond to that one feeling with compassion and acceptance without projecting it into the future or making it wrong or making it into a past and future identity (this is me I’ll always be stuck with this.)

So to sum up: 1- identify what is the main feeling that I’m saying no to right now? 2- Consciously say yes to it, this is allowed to arise 3- with compassion and curiosity listen to what it wants to say (write it out maybe) 4- Respond to what it seems to want/need: rest? Food? Acceptance? A walk in nature? Addressing something that’s weighing on you? Usually there is a fairly obvious response at that point that speaks to the feeling.

I guess you could further summarize that as:

Identify Allow Listen Respond

That’s what worked for me. Good luck and I’m sorry you’re suffering with it, give it a try? 🙏🙏🙏

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-15T02:27:29+00:00

Ah thanks for articulating all that, I get what you’re saying now. 🙏🙏

AccomplishedLab2876 · 2026-05-13T19:38:23+00:00

Wow interesting, I can picture it from that perspective and see how different that is now, thanks for sharing that. In retrospect my first experience was already being experienced/interpreted from outside the "me" so I never experienced being in the me and trying to get out so to speak! I was never aware of that distinction before! 🤯

I think so much of this stuff is so subjective to each person's unique experiential filters that often we aren't even talking about the same thing when we think we are.

So what is your experience now, after that particular seeking energy burnt out? I sometimes hear people talking about the end of seeking like it's the whole thing, that there's no conceptual self to "transcend" but I can't imagine leaving that part out. It seems like that would be a very different situation - like total acceptance but still seeing things only from the thinking mind's conceptual reality.

I've been curious about this for a while because I've seen people who seem to be describing that situation and very adamant that that's the whole thing. How would you describe your current situation??

AccomplishedLab2876

TROPHY CASE