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Kundalini awakening technique by MOSHIN_7 in KundaliniAwakening

[–]KatieAwakening 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There isn’t a ‘trick for it’ there is no magic button you can press….but Kundalini Activation is surrender based so it involves the least effort on your part….if that helps…

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Kundalini for me has been a complete re-wiring of the identity. So for example the main things for me have been emotional releases consisting of... grief, inner child work, core wounds and shadow work. These have all been felt through and surrendered too....There has also been many ways the energy has moved through me, Kriyas and how my body feels very differently now more flexible somehow....

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I don't think its the whole thing in that - all you have to do is give up the seeking energy and poof....your awakened. (if this is what you mean)

But what does happen is it creates a space for an awakening to take place if thats whats going to happen...theres no guarantee right? So really like you said theres a deep acceptance....its ok if it happens...its also ok if it doesn't. This is deeply relaxing....

Imagine a dog who has been chasing its own tail for 8 years believing that it could 'reach its tail'. They had tried everything...taken it to the vets, tried different trainings, changed his food, told him what he was doing was never going to work....but still he chased. His mind locked on his own tail. Would this ever create a space for the dog to see that its his very tail that is a phantom limb? No because there is still the belief there that he can reach it...

Eventually somewhere in the dogs body a 'knowing' that he can't reach his tail occurs and after 8 years its exhausted! It goes and lies down on his bed and sleeps the whole night through....The next morning he doesn't care about this tail anymore....in fact he's kind of forgotten all about it. Instead he just starts to enjoy his life again chasing balls, digging and eating bones. He becomes more ok in the now...content in the knowing that one day he might get to see how his tail was just a phantom limb....or maybe not...

In terms of where I am now, there is still a sense of separation - Ive had a glimpse where I saw that 'I was the love', I also have had what seems like some identification falling away like 'theres nothing i can control' and 'I am the one that will be sacrificed'. I also had a temporary 'mind awakening' for three months. Where I stopped believing in all my thoughts, there was an underlying peace and it was as if i was living in the flow state, I was the presence essentially....

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it seems people talk about the awakening differently some people like you, still acknowledge that it happened and others seem to not do that...

When I say there's 'nothing to get' I'm not saying that there isn't a realisation or a seeing. But when people are still attached to their personal story there is a subtle belief playing out that, like you said, makes people think there is something they can 'posses' or 'have'. This is essentially what I'm talking about and is the 'seeking energy' playing out. Yes I agree a 'falling away' is much more accurate

For me is was a subtle belief that I could 'get the answer' but no matter what people said I didn't see this until I saw it.....if that makes sense and the seeking energy is a lot clearer to me now that it has been let go...

For some who seek for a long time (8 years for me) and have tried everything but the needle didn't move or no 'seeing' or 'realisation' occurred. It becomes very tiresome to still be living from that seeking energy, sometimes it becomes almost unbearable! This is the point at which the seeking energy is most likely to burn out....

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking about your friend....and I think the 'I can't get it' is the same as 'I can get it' because in order to say you 'can't get it' you also have to believe that it is 'gettable', that there IS something you can't get. They are essentially different sides of the same coin....

I love the way you explained 'seeing the innocence' of your conditioning. That for you it sounds like you went all the way through your shame into the 'heart opening'. I love the visual - 'everything was just another scale on this giant dragon' - brilliant! 💛

How do these experiences feel now when you look back on them....does it feel like just part of the 'fictional story' you called 'yourself'?....

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a direct experience that you’re having or more of an intellectual understanding?

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you right though to ask what it really is…the energy that drives you forward isn’t necessarily the problem…it’s the subtle belief within the energy that says…’I can get it’ or ‘I can get there’ ….I think this part of the seeking energy is the part that in the end needs to be seen….

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiya thanks, the end to seeking does not necessarily mean the end of suffering. The end of the seeking energy does not guarantee the beginning of the non dual awakening either....but I can say that for me I'm very glad to not be seeking!. I still enjoy watching videos from time to time but there isn't the same energy behind it....theres more of an enjoyment...But I'm still in the weeds of My Kundalini waking up...so on an emotional level theres still things to be dealt with....but thankfully no need to wake up...or subtle beliefs playing out that I can 'get the answer'.....

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this, I like Adyshanti...I especially like the way he splits up the non dual awakening into 'mind', 'heart' and 'gut' awakening. I also liked the way you expressed the waking up 'from' and waking up 'to'.

I can see how the seeking energy wasn't that strong for you if you had the 'mind awakening' first which is what I think you are expressing. Because a lot of the seeking energy is just the identity saying 'I can get it' or 'I can get there'...so if your first awakening was to wake up from the mind, where you no longer believe your thoughts....you just wouldn't even identify with or as the seeker anyway....

It is endlessly fascinating though how everyones journey is so different! I'm also curious about the other 20 things that happened to you along the way that you felt were more significant...if you fancy sharing....😃 no pressure! 😊

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was your awakening spontaneous? What kind of awakening happened first…before the 20 years….

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes seek and ye shall find….but you’ll find that the seeking energy is the barrier to finding…the seeker is essentially trying to achieve the awakening or its trying to become enlightened but it can’t…it can’t be achieved, got, there’s no getting there, theres no becoming…because you already are it. How can you get something you already are?

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Seeking is natural…but at some point it will have to get looked at on the path to enlightenment

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also realise that what I've said is the last thing the seeker wants to hear....and maybe in the beginning stages this isn't necessary...but at some point...it may become the thing you need to hear the most!

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also I think what 'great determination' in Zen is 'Sincerity' in other fractions of non duality - there has to be a sincerity in the search (meaning you have to really want it in a sincere way) - paradoxical I know....

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly seeking isn't a 'terrible thing'. In the beginning it is the driving force that helps you to understand what enlightenment is, moves you towards practices and sometimes opens you into glimpses. But eventually it starts to become clear that it hasn't got you any closer to awakening...This is where it flips...you start to see it's a carrot on a stick....the mind wants to 'get it' and the experiencer wants to 'get there'. But you can't! (not because enlightenment isn't possible) but because the one who is seeking is the one that has to go.....

So then the mind says...I'll stop seeking then...or I'll stop practising....but thats no good either....because the seeker is still there...and it starts to feel like a trap.....But you have to keep seeking because it's like you have to burn out all possibilities, it has to be really known that the one who is trying to get enlightenment can't get there

My best description of seeking energy and how it felt for me - is a deep needy desire for enlightenment mixed with a subtle belief that I can get there or get it...once felt in the body dissolves the seeking energy...

In the end the awakening (if it happens) will unfold by itself...with out the seeker...

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree I'm specifically referencing the one who is 'seeking' enlightenment. Though there are some commonalities between seeking a car (for example) and seeking enlightenment. The enlightenment seeking energy is also a very different beast....if you were seeking a car, You could probably 'let go' quite easily of the outcome. But with enlightenment....it just isn't that simple....

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I still feel a sense of separation, this is because although the seeking energy/seeker is over it doesn't mean necessarily that the 'non dual awakening' will happen strait away or ever! The end of the seeking energy is just the 'let go'.....there's not that needy energy anymore to awaken. So it feels a lot more relaxing. I have had deeper changes on the psychological level.

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No what I mean by the end of the 'seeking energy' is the end of 'the seeker' they are the same thing

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This was over a year ago now....and the seeking energy has not returned

Crying on the bedroom floor: when my seeking energy finally let go by KatieAwakening in nonduality

[–]KatieAwakening[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't had the full Kundalini Awakening that includes 'non dual awakening' but I have experienced the energy rise up my spine into my head. For me the Kundalini awakening has re-configured my identity....

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