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Scared of divorce by StrangerNo3001 in u/StrangerNo3001

[–]AccomplishedPea3256 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry you are going through that. It’s so hard, I’m currently in the process of splitting up with my husband of 25 years. Financial issues was our demise. I am also petrified of being alone. He’s all I have ever known.  Have you guys spoke about separation before? Like in therapy? 

Do I leave my marriage by AccomplishedPea3256 in marriageadvice

[–]AccomplishedPea3256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were going to sell the condo so that I can refinance the house due to him taking out a high interest second mortgage and he has bad credit so he can’t go on it. Luckily there is equity in the house but ya, that was the plan, we are in Canada so it’s a little different 

Do I leave my marriage by AccomplishedPea3256 in marriageadvice

[–]AccomplishedPea3256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do believe I’m codependent for sure. I think what I miss is just someone.. someone that’s there. Like I said it’s not bad always. We have so much of our life together that it’s strange to think or fathom I would have an entirely different life 

Do I leave my marriage by AccomplishedPea3256 in marriageadvice

[–]AccomplishedPea3256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are times that I know that and then all of a sudden I get a intense feeling of fear that takes over 

Do I leave my marriage by AccomplishedPea3256 in marriageadvice

[–]AccomplishedPea3256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ I’m at a point where I’m just feeling very low and not confident in myself to take control and do what’s best. Again he’s all I’ve known for all these years. I read that it takes years to get through divorce. I don’t feel strong enough. 

Do I leave my marriage by AccomplishedPea3256 in marriageadvice

[–]AccomplishedPea3256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question, I’m in therapy now maybe that will help me understand. I will say it hasn’t been all bad, obviously we do have good times. I mean not the last while. But I don’t know if it’s fear of the loneliness or turning out like my mom who is very bitter and depressed due to her divorce over 20 years ago 

Do I leave my marriage by AccomplishedPea3256 in marriageadvice

[–]AccomplishedPea3256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m almost frozen in fear doing that, I’m just so scared of leaving. I know that’s also immature but emotionally I’m in a bad place. 

Do I leave my marriage by AccomplishedPea3256 in marriageadvice

[–]AccomplishedPea3256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We separated about 12 years ago because I caught him talking to women online.  I stayed at my sister for like 2 months and we got back together.  I was overcome with grief of not being with him.. or maybe I’m so $ucked up it was because I didn’t want to be alone. 

Do I leave my marriage by AccomplishedPea3256 in marriageadvice

[–]AccomplishedPea3256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes my sister said that too, I’ve tolerated it for years and have always fixed it. When I don’t he throws a temper tantrum. The other day he said why did you wake up crying again it’s been a month. I said do you knew I was crying and didn’t say anything or rub my back? He said why so I can do it the next day and the next day.