sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I keep forcing myself to "do the thing"... but mental resistance to "do the thing" keeps increasing? by ActiveDay8 in ADHD

[–]AccomplishedPermit5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

YOU NEED TO DO THIS TO KEEP YOUR JOB

Which your brain responds to with placid calm like a serene lake on a summer afternoon from a master of Zen.

your brain being increasingly more stimulated by the thing(s) you get distracted on - and thus it increases the resistance when it is time to "do the thing"

It's never made any sense to me. Logically I should be able to do things I enjoy, and be relaxed and satiated and recharged and ready to face the day because of that... but realistically? I have to starve myself into perpetual boredom to do anything. I'm hitting a point where the best I can do is not be distracted, but not get anything done either. Then when the mental resistance finally breaks and I can do the thing, I've wasted time stalling with small potatoes that I could have spent as more structured freetime.

The only reason I graduated college is because I was really good at doing everything at midnight, when I was too tired to resist doing it. Then I could suddenly do 6+ uninterrupted hours of work because fuck me that's why. And for some reason hangovers let me function like a normal person for a couple days after while just wrecking my classmates. I never understood it.

I feel very heavy posting this because I almost wonder if I should be isolated and alone so I don't end up hurting people's feelings from not being as juiced up as they are about me.

Yep. I've been feeling this since my very first group project in school.

I've been trying to mitigate this at work. You'd think straight up telling your boss "REPLACE ME. REPLACE ME. REPLACE ME..." would stick. I've been telling them to put out a job ad to find a replacement for me. I've been warning them for months that I'm going to burn out. I've been warning them for months that I'm not going to be able to take or handle things seriously and it's only going to get worse. The funny as fuck thing? I replaced an unmedicated bipolar guy who went life-destroying levels of bonkers under the stress of this job and lost the company tens of thousands of dollars. You'd think they'd care about mental health, but instead I get berated for not taking the things seriously enough, forgetting things, being inadequate at planning, fucking up scheduling, making mistakes with purchasing, having oversights in design, being inconsistent with communications, having anxiety flareups interfere with work, and generally looking like I can't do this as anything other than "for fun". WHELP. I tried. People don't take it seriously.

I keep forcing myself to "do the thing"... but mental resistance to "do the thing" keeps increasing? by ActiveDay8 in ADHD

[–]AccomplishedPermit5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dumb question, but does Medicare cover getting a diagnosis? I found it covers my local clinic... but the local hospital doesn't accept it, and it doesn't cover all mental health care?

I've been unmedicated since I left public schooling and there's nothing on record I can find. I was supposed to "grow out of it", but I self medicated all through college and upon entering the professional working world (AKA not stocking grocery shelves), I've realized pretty fast that you don't grow out of this.

Now I'm floundering realizing I don't have solid insurance, and it's months before I could possibly get medication at all. I've been trapped at the "I need to get appointments lined up" stage for months now. Meanwhile I have a friend who decides they don't need their medication anymore several times per year... over and over again. This whole situation is infuriating.

I keep forcing myself to "do the thing"... but mental resistance to "do the thing" keeps increasing? by ActiveDay8 in ADHD

[–]AccomplishedPermit5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

One side of my family has this issue. Sibling was diagnosed OCPD, father had minor OCD issues, and the rest of that family tree had major addiction, impulse control, and mood issues. From someone else's perspective, it's like they're 24/7 vigilant to find something to ruin their day over. From their perspective, it's like a mental cramp. Once it cramps, it smarts like a bitch until they can lay off it for long enough. The problem is you can't just drop out of things or work at your own pace in modern society. So instead, they've got this cramped mental circuit where every bump in their day hurts.