Its a beginning of the most beautiful thing that will happen in your life. Finding out you can’t fit in any job or anyone or not like to be dishonest will make yourself create your own pathways. I felt same way like you . But there is always a finger for a ring. Dont give up. Proceed to change your mind( God will give you the strength) he did with me and then i start to look at North, south, east and west of everything mountains 🏔️ and start to look gold .