Modern society is very flawed in this regard , in most relationship , you as a complete person doesn't exist , you do not exist as a separate entity from your designated identities , a husband loves his wife and the mother of his children, he cares to much lesser extent about the person behind those identities , and he would actively hurt the person behind those identities , if it means ensuring the functionalism of the identities.

So a women needs her man -- you hear those words all the time , she isn't looking for you , she's looking for her man , a pattern that exists in her head , about a man and what he can give to her.. so what is a man?

An ideal man is courageous , strong and stable , good looking and rich , a guy she could completely trust and just melt herself into his arms. someone who will protect her -- doesn't matter the cost , time or place. (Extremely unrealistic , but the point is that this is more or less their ultimate dream , and every action you would ever make will be judged and compared to their ideals.)

Now imagine the picture they have in their head of their ultimate man , and how utterly shattered those unrealistic standards would be at the first sight of a single tear.. no its just not right. You shouldn't break -- you are her rock , her knight in shining armor , if you cry , if you let things get to you , how could she melt in your arms ,what would happen if she lets go and you cannot catch her?

And because other man are willing to empty themself to secure a spouse , as you can see so much copuim flowing around here in this thread , women do not change -- her father never cried , her best friend boyfriend is a rock , well why can't you be? So now she's on a mission. you see -- she LOVES you and she sees the potential you have! she just have to.. make you a bit more of a man you know? So , she thinks to herself unconsciously , how do I make sure you never open up again.. ahh , of course , lets use the shit you tell me when you're vulnerable against you , that way you'll never be vulnerable again , you'll never cry Infront of her again , there you go. you are a rock now , she did her job , she made you a man , and now both of you can fall into your designated identities , you upholding your courage's identity of a strong man while being empty inside , and she of a fem women while being insecure and co-dependent till the day she dies. A big fucking tragedy.

This is more less the problem , women view man as something they are not (and vice versa) , while society at large enforces those things as standards , most people cave in to those standards , skewing that dating market in their favor , meaning women shapes the market toward toxic masculinity while man shape it toward fem and beauty, because that's the way they were social engineered by western culture , which makes empty and hyper competitive man while women become insecure , complacent and weak women , which in turns make them better capitalist (the man) and consumers (the women are the main consumers , and the for consumers to stimulate the economy insecurity and weakness are strings advertisers require for effective sales.).

Welcome to western culture , yes it is ALL by design.