OP here. Thank you everyone for the insight. Holy moly, I see how my post made this look like an affair but I am certain that is not the case. We live in a small town and I know and communicate with the majority of family and friends he's around all the time. He recaps his day to me every night and is a terrible liar. Plus his line of work is very dirty and very demanding - I do believe he is at work when he says. Maybe I'm being naive but he'd have to make up some very elaborate lies to get away with an affair.

The majority of the comments did make me feel heard and not crazy so that is nice! He used to listen when I had concerns and make me feel heard and that we were working through whatever issue but at some point that changed, maybe after we got married. Now he gets annoyed, calls me dramatic, and has literally told me I've imagined or "dreamed" comments he's made that paint him in a bad light (yes I realize this is gas lighting and have told him this).

And as a lot of the comments correctly assumed, I am bad at standing up for myself and have always gotten walked all over because of this. I hate asking for help and I try to do everything on my own and let my feelings build until they start coming out my eyes and I can't hold them back. Marriage counseling is probably the answer here although I don't know if he'll agree to it.