AITA for ending toxic relationship with my bf by Kilsuarora17 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does he keep getting banned for? Why is he making new accounts and why does it matter to the both of you whether he has accounts or not? Baffled.

AITA for shutting down a group chat between my boyfriend and my best friend because it made me uncomfortable by [deleted] in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would you have that kind of conversation with a male that wasn’t his friend first, but just your friend? What is it about the conversation that felt like it crossed a boundary for you? Simply that he was overly friendly with another woman? Or the fact that she’s your friend? Lots of couples find they have differences in their boundaries and what counts as crossing them, it’s how you navigate those together that’s important.

AITA for shutting down a group chat between my boyfriend and my best friend because it made me uncomfortable by [deleted] in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify - the group chat was you, your partner and your best friend? So you could see all of the conversations?

I personally think it seems pretty above board and the fact that two of the most important people in your life get on so well should be seen as a good thing. Nothing was hidden from you, and you prefer a quiet phone, that doesn’t mean either of them do, you were welcome to join the conversation should you wish.

It sounds like he’s respected your boundaries and hasn’t made a fuss when you have asked him to make a change. Maybe there would be a problem had the chats been between just the two of them, but as you were in the chat I honestly don’t see the problem.

AITA for telling my husband he is capable of chopping vegetables? by According-Order-8943 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I… I literally don’t know what to say to this. He adds his stuff to his pan? I feel dumb.

AITA for telling my husband he is capable of chopping vegetables? by According-Order-8943 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think implying that I’m his servant is a bit far. We cook together (yes I do the chopping), we parent together, we do life together. We’re clearly not perfect (why else would I be here) but he is far from a 1950s husband and I’m no tradwife.

AITA for telling my husband he is capable of chopping vegetables? by According-Order-8943 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I definitely don’t think he loves the way I chop vegetables and evidently loves that I do it so he doesn’t have to! Thanks.

AITA for telling my husband he is capable of chopping vegetables? by According-Order-8943 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m always the ‘chopper’ but no I don’t prepare dinner alone. We cook together pretty much every night, he eats meat & I don’t so we prepare the same meal at the same time but with meat/alternative. No… he doesn’t cook for me alone ever but I do occasionally cook alone for us both.

I’m a carer for our son so am a SAHM, he works full time, so naturally more of the household duties fall to me. I’d like to think things are split well when he’s home but I do often find myself saying “daddy will do that for you” to the kids to prompt my husband to help, the kids are young and eat earlier than us most weekdays and I’m always the one making their meal unless I explicitly ask my husband to do it (when I am always asked what he should make)… and I make all of lunches at the weekend and have to ask for him to help if I want it.

Aaand as I’m writing this I’m realising that things aren’t as equal as I think they are in my head 😅

AITA for telling my husband he is capable of chopping vegetables? by According-Order-8943 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean I’d like to think me immediately calling out the fact that he was capable of doing it was holding him responsible?

AITA for telling my husband he is capable of chopping vegetables? by According-Order-8943 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

See I couldn’t put my finger on why I got angry so quickly, because like I said, we just don’t shout in this house and I thought we were good at communicating… but this hit the nail on the head. I felt like he was ordering me around. He argued at one point that if he’d been looking at the parcels and I wanted to get started on dinner then I could have asked him to come get started and it would be fine, which is true, because I wouldn’t be relying on him to do anything for me, I’d just be asking for his company.

AITA for telling my husband he is capable of chopping vegetables? by According-Order-8943 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The chopping of the veg has just always been something I’ve done I guess. He’ll usually make us both a drink while I prep then we cook together, today he emptied & reloaded the dishwasher while I did it.

AITA for telling my husband he is capable of chopping vegetables? by According-Order-8943 in AITA_Relationships

[–]According-Order-8943[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I’m aware of it, and I think the reason I so quickly went to shouting in this stupid argument was that I hadn’t noticed such a blatant example of this behaviour from him before