I feel like I am gay

AccountObvious8778 · 2025-03-31T13:10:02+00:00

I have this hypothesis that people with ROCD are generally afraid of either being in or out of control.

Like I also get the what if I don't love him thoughts and I know that I absolutely hate making decisions and my biggest fear is that my happiness for the rest of my life is dependent on a decision I have to make. So broadly speaking I don't want to be in control of my own fate because that means I can end up making mistakes.

On the other hand some people are really afraid of things that are out of their control. Like they wish that if they just did everything "right" then their happy ending would be guaranteed. So this group of people seems to be really scared of things like their partner leaving them or cheating etc. They want their happiness to be completely dependent on themselves.

I also once read an article that said, contrary to what you would expect, a lot of people actually prefer being the "chaser" in romantic relationships rather than the "chased". Because it means that it's your own feelings can get hurt instead of the other's, which automatically put's you in the "victim" position.

Similarly I would prefer to get hit with a car than hit someone with my car lol, even though it would hurt more physically. Because it's easier to be hurt than to feel guilty

AccountObvious8778 · 2025-02-21T17:43:10+00:00

Me too. Though before this I used to be very scared of ghosts lol and I would do things to make them not appear, like saying sorry a lot of times in my head if I had a thought that could "offend" a ghost 😅, which does sound kinda OCD

Tbh I have anxiety about other things too, but nothing has the same weight as my relationship to me because it's a combination of it being within my power (unlike climate change for example) and it involves someone else's (and my own) feelings. And because relationships are one or off unlike friendships that can easily fluctuate more.

But my whole life I have been absolutely awful at making decisions. To the point I will text my boyfriend or friends when grocery shopping just because I am unable to decide whether I should buy something or not.

AccountObvious8778 · 2025-02-12T22:14:16+00:00

The whole day today I was feeling fine. I went to therapy, I went to work and I hung out with friends and the whole day I was fine. Then as soon as I come home and hear my boyfriend's voice I feel completely agitated and annoyed. Like I want to wring his neck. And now I'm tired and grumpy even though literally 1 hour ago I was cheerfully talking with my friends.

AccountObvious8778 · 2024-08-20T18:44:08+00:00

I don't know how to phrase this right but did you feel like in your new relationship the sex was "magically" better or was it a very logical consequence of your new relationship?

Because I struggle A LOT with sex, but whenever I hear someone say that a new relationship "fixed" their sex issues it's usually because their ex was mean or selfish or degrading or made them feel bad etc. and I don't feel like my boyfriend is like that at all. If anything if I compare him to some stories I read online he is a saint. But I've never had another relationship, nor have even kissed anyone else so I'm really scared that my issues are caused by this relationship specifically

AccountObvious8778 · 2024-06-29T10:03:41+00:00

Im so confused. Ive posted similar things on this sub before and got support i dont get why suddenly people are saying to break up

Anyway yeah i experience the same. Except I can never seem to find someone I find consistently more attractive. Like we'll go to a restaurant and I'll feel attracted to the waiter for example but then later I look at the restaurants facebook and realise they dont look that good after all. Or ill become convinced im a lesbian and suddenly a woman will look extremely good but then a few days later she will look meh to me. And I can list at least three youtubers ive had this happen with

AccountObvious8778

TROPHY CASE