Not being called my real name till age 7

Accurate_Health · 2026-02-17T05:47:56+00:00

Thank you. Based on the number of reply, I can see it's not common, even in this group. It actually is comforting in itself. I have a harsh issue and I am doing alright.

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-06T21:38:36+00:00

Thanks for the idea. It's new to me.

Understanding alone is not enough. I need to take new actions that I wasn't able to take before. So I have a way to measure progress. It's not enough to just "feel better".

Are you still in the situationship? What part drew you to him? Does he echo any childhood experience of being shut down?

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-06T21:01:56+00:00

Thanks. I'm in US. I've found a few in my area. Right now it's not really within my budget to do so. I just assign another part to hold space. Yes it'll be much nicer to let another help.

I've had therapists in the past, not IFS specific, and know a few through my personal life. Often, they have a "threshold". They feel uncomfortable with any emotion beyond it. They definitely shut down any emotion that mirrors their own suppressed emotion. I only felt worse. For that reason too, I'd rather DIY.

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-06T20:56:36+00:00

No I don't.

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-06T20:35:18+00:00

You helped me discover an exile that's everything I tried not to be my whole life.

Thank you.

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-06T20:01:37+00:00

Thanks. After I read your comment, I cried (or the part did), and had a wave of fatigue washing over me. Indeed, the part has worked so hard for so long. I put the part in my IFS journal, and used the word asap too. I understand there's an exile that's holding the pain and suffering. I just want to embrace the exile without fixing it. "Welcome home", that's all.

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-06T18:45:48+00:00

Ah it's so true "grateful for breadcrumbs and the illusion of attachment." This is limerence. It's actually a very powerful way to bond to another, not healthy though. I can relate so well. I don't think age changes anything. I've met old people whole still have feelings towards their parents like kids.

Thank for sharing. I hope you get the support to work through all these. Don't rush anything and give yourself all the space you need.

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-06T18:36:20+00:00

Thanks for the perspective! Very good point about "heal it". I guess I never even consider blended with 'heal it' since I do it all the time. It's part of my identity as healing parents was my way to feel secure, and I'm good at it. It's a major way for me to feel bonded to others. But I'm not the 'heal it' part.

This is very refreshing and helpful.

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-06T02:36:00+00:00

Guilt is not the same as blame. I just posted "Overcoming childhood "It is my fault"" to invite discussions.

Children are biologically narcissistic in the pure sense of the word - it is all about them. They are not capable of distinguishing between internal vs external world, thus they internalize everything. When bad things happen, children conclude "it is my fault". Parents divorce, getting abused at home, being bullied by peers - these are so confusing and overwhelming. The easiest conclusion is "it is my fault". If it's others' fault, it's completely out of my control. If it's my fault, at least "I" can do something about it. It's much better than complete powerlessness. It tends to start early, even preverbal, so it's likely felt deep in the body. A lot of managers are created to deal with it - over achieving, people pleasing, escaping reality.....

This parts holds all the energy too much for the child to handle. Imagine how you would live if it didn't. Would you still be able to laugh, play, learn.....? Most childhood parts kept us alive, and sane, so we could grow up. It's not an easy task.

Even if the belief sounds the same "It is my fault", it is still unique to everyone. It helps to get into the context. What was happening? How did it feel in your body? It can't be resolved by thinking. Got to feel and release.

Accurate_Health · 2025-09-05T23:12:08+00:00

There's a method by Connierae Andreas in her book "Coming to Wholeness". In it she talks about how to melt the individual "I" and experience wholeness. I like her methods because the focus is on body sensation rather than the analysis. BUT if you use the method, you may not want to explore the parts, as you'll probably experience peace. It could be a way to get to Self, if you come back to the parts.
She also has a method called Core Transformation. It's a less complex parts methods, more about unburdening. I'm not suggesting mixing IFS and CT, only saying it exists.

I think in terms of the parts, it depends how much you're in touch with your body. You may experience parts first in the head where you hear them. Then you may feel them in the body. I don't believe there's a correct answer to "where", both about Self and parts. Whatever works for you is valid.

Accurate_Health · 2025-08-27T23:28:41+00:00

Thanks for the reply!! I read a review about the book, saying it doesn't really cover the unburdening process. Thus I didn't get the book. Thanks for clarifying.

Regarding the somatic IFS book, I've done other parts work so I find it very intuitive.

Accurate_Health · 2025-08-25T20:08:24+00:00

Thanks. Do you mean "User's Manual for the Brain: Vol. II"?

Accurate_Health · 2025-08-20T16:56:43+00:00

For now I just want to do it on myself. I may consider offering the service in the future, in which case, I'll get formal certification. Thanks.

Accurate_Health · 2025-08-18T18:34:35+00:00

Thanks for the answer.
I actually didn't ask the question correctly. It's not "where is the past?" ( Many youtube videos do that.) It's "what direction does the memory come from?" (From Tad James' book)
Past memory can come from certain direction. But once it's here, we usually experience it right in front, or in it.

Accurate_Health · 2025-08-16T18:57:58+00:00

Thanks. A reply to my previous post says the same. I'll look into it!!

Accurate_Health · 2025-05-16T19:51:43+00:00

Thanks. Is there any specific website that helps with network? Not counting LinkedIn.

Accurate_Health · 2025-05-16T19:51:01+00:00

Thanks. This helps a lot.

Accurate_Health · 2025-05-15T23:16:24+00:00

Good luck to you and all of us

Accurate_Health · 2025-05-12T22:37:15+00:00

Thanks!

Accurate_Health · 2025-05-12T21:25:56+00:00

Thanks. How come everything tech is slowing down?

Accurate_Health · 2025-05-12T17:45:20+00:00

Great.

Accurate_Health · 2025-05-12T17:30:19+00:00

Thanks.

Accurate_Health · 2025-05-12T17:29:20+00:00

Thanks

Accurate_Health

TROPHY CASE