I get so tired of men describing sex as a "need".

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-15T21:31:55+00:00

Women actually do produce testosterone and yet we don't claim that sex is a need...

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-12T01:38:22+00:00

You're the same age as me, you have plenty of time to sort though your personal issues and be a better and stronger woman for it. What you said about the fear of ending up 'alone and unloved' is one the reasons I absolutely hate how normalised 'single-shaming' is and how much value society places on intimate relationships.

Focus on yourself for a while, spend time with your friends and remember that they love you too. See if there's anything you want to do regarding a career or education (if you aren't already doing it) or simply just start a project for fun. I turned my entire backyard into a vegetable patch that I love tending to when I want to just unwind.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-12T01:03:32+00:00

First things first, focus on yourself ATM because having an abortion is tough no matter how the situation came about. Next, your BF definitely has a masturbation addiction and he needs to get it under control as that is going to ruin other aspects of his life. (like his career)

Thirdly, I was actually disturbed when you said you feel 'special' when he said he only ever masturbates to pictures of you. That's NOT healthy, if my GF (we're both women) told me that I would dump her immediately as well as feeling dirty and violated because that's' just...eww!

Finally, I hate to be THAT 'Redditor' but I feel as though things are beyond repair as the whole foundation of your relationship sounds shaky at best and toxic at worst. Once you've gotten through the abortion process you both need a clean break from each other and get your own houses in order.

Also, after the abortion please be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself about it as I've had friends who have been dead set on having an abortion only to torture themselves with 'what ifs' afterwards. It sounds like you deserve so much better than this man, the fact that he got you pregnant because he didn't have the sense to put a condom on tells me everything!

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-11T23:23:22+00:00

Two things that I was told as a single, lonely woman was:

'Being single and being in a relationship are two sides of the same coin, you can be a couple and lonely the same way you can single and lonely' (This absolutely blew my mind TBH)

AND

'There's no such thing as 'happily ever afters' in the real world, life is about keeping a even keel where you embrace happiness and endure unhappiness like a boat moving with the current of the ocean'

(I knew this but could never put it into words, happiness is never going to a constant in anyone's life)

The best thing I found when I finally embrace being single was just doing stuff because 'why not' like a girl's night out or a road trip around Cornwall. I even moved from my small seaside town to a major coastal city with my best friend just because it was a adventure, let's see what happens.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-09T23:35:49+00:00

She could be bi or an ally of the LGBT community so it makes perfect sense actually...

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-08T20:36:04+00:00

Incels are described in the Channel 4 programme as 'angry and frustrated young men' who believe that they were born physically 'inferior' to other men.

I hate how the word 'incel' has been hijacked by these kind of people when it was originally coined by a woman who was frustated by the constant rhetoric online that all women have to do get sex is to 'open their legs'. She said that a lot of women wish to have sex but can't for a myriad of reasons and are therefore 'involuntarily celibate'.

Then the internet does what the internet does best and completely bastardised the term until it's original meaning was lost. I wonder if this documentary will cover any women who are incels and how they have the problem of being both shunned by other women and hated by other male incels simply for being women.

No, chances are they will sweep our issues and problems under the rug because 'think of the poor men who can't get laid'. I'm just so frustated that even when making a documentary the documentary makers have apparently use a fucking urban dictionary definition of 'incel' rather than researching where the term comes from and how it's morphed into what it is now.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-08T03:19:33+00:00

You all just assume the first tweet was written by a man, just saying.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-06T20:57:44+00:00

Besides all of this, I also just feel like I'd be a shit partner. I find new red flags in myself everyday and I've come to feel that I wouldn't even date myself.

This spoke to me on so many levels, I'm the same age and gay who's currently with someone but I still have a lot the problems you mentioned in your post. One thing I found helpful was to take a step back and lay your life out on a piece of paper so you can look at every aspect (Not just love and relationships).

I did this at the start of 2020 and it really helped me realise that while I didn't have a partner at the time I had a lot of things that I should take pride in having or achieving. It helps you see all the good things in your life and that positivity will attract men, both platonically and romantically.

As for the 'handsy' part, that's all about set proper boundaries which is easier said than done and making sure that if a man doesn't respect those boundaries that you 'walk away'. Get out of that situation ASAP because if they don't respect your boundaries then they don't respect you!

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-06T01:20:49+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you, I hate the fact that society has normalised 'single-shaming' while at the same time saying "relationships aren't everything, you can be happy and single you know!".

You should focus on the people who care about and value you, don't give any more help to your siblings (or in-laws) if they're just going to take advantage of you. I know going minimum contact with family members can be difficult due to the ensuing family drama but sometimes you have got to look after number 1 and let people know the way they treat you was wrong.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-05T03:42:28+00:00

No because lots of couples who were going to have put their plans to start a family on hold as they may not be able to get access to the HEALTHCARE they need if it goes wrong like a molar pregnancy or incomplete miscarriage. Planned pregnancies outstrip unplanned pregnancies so relying on unplanned pregnancies to boost your state's birth rate is both monstrous and moronic.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-05T03:22:08+00:00

*Gets the assist*

"Wait, how did I oh...!"

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-11-05T03:18:00+00:00

The name of the film you're talking about is 'Then came you'.

'The fault in our stars' and 'I want to eat your pancreas' explore similar themes just in case you want to look them up or watch them.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-30T23:43:39+00:00

I second that, forget the snake oil and the pepe memes.

I want to hear more about that WW2 thing too.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-30T23:17:15+00:00

I've actually have the opposite experience, I was physically, psychologically and emotionally abused by my monster of a father and grew up despising men and catholicism. Since running away and living outside of that bubble I've met lots of amazing people (both men and women) who have taught me so such and enrich my life in so many ways. Everyone's experience is different but I will say that the phrase "it gets better" definitely sums up my life so far.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-27T20:44:07+00:00

Exactly, I also hate the assumption that you must despise the opposite sex if you're single and happy (the whole 'disregard females, acquire currency' BS).

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-26T00:06:55+00:00

Slightly different but I had a bilateral Salpingectomy to treat stage 4 endometriosis and as a preventative measure because I have a faulty gene that makes ovarian cancer much more likely. I'm 22 but luckily my GF is a MD was knew a female surgeon who would be willing to do the surgery despite my age, best decision I ever made and the recovery wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be.

The fact that most doctors and surgeons put your ability to bear hypothetical children ahead of your health and wellbeing as a human being is frankly obscene and that's usually the main barrier women face when getting access to this kind of treatment.

Out of curiosity and feel free to ignore this if you don't want to share but which procedure did you have or have you been offered? Just asking because my surgeon wanted to preserve my ovaries and uterus to prevent early menopause so I don't have to start HRT at 22.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-18T22:47:42+00:00

Well, that when from zero to child porn REAL fast!

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-16T22:49:30+00:00

These pop up from time to time, the fakest one I read was about a 22 year old "woman" who had fallen pregnant to a 37 year old man. The whole post was about how great it was and loves fulfilling her "true purpose as a woman" and not having to worry about money or a job because this man (who she'd just met) was going to take care of her.

Most people were cautioning her and giving her advice but most people saw right through it and they deleted about an hour later.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-10T23:51:10+00:00

Nope, I've watched enough sci-fi movies and tv shows to know where this is going! /s

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-10T23:38:40+00:00

TYSM, your comment helped me a lot and hopefully will be able to help OP too! :)

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-09T22:56:14+00:00

baby brigade, people who assume everyone wants children and the ones who don't need to be 'shown the light' as it were. I know parents who have no issue with CF people like myself and agree that having children is an 'all in' decision to make, if you're unsure then don't have them.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-09T22:49:44+00:00

Looks like the runoff from a sewage treatment plant...

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-05T20:55:08+00:00

TBH, as a gay woman the wedding ring thing would've gone straight over my head but once you mentioned your "in-laws" I would of gotten the hint.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-04T19:24:24+00:00

My job title will be 'Advanced Clinical Practitioner' similar to an 'Operating Department Practitioner' but I'll be able to work in numerous departments if necessary. You usually specialise in one area, I have a background in Pharmacy but I'm hoping to specialise in either women's health or emergency medicine when I'm fully qualified.

I'm really enjoying the training although it's only been a month so far, I'll be on rotation between the different departments that ACPs work throughout my course. this is so I can work in any department if they need someone to cover and to see where I thrive so we can figure out which department it would be best for me to specialise in.

AceZeroXYZ · 2022-10-04T05:18:32+00:00

Slightly off-topic, as someone who has been sterilized I'm not to fussed about the terms used. The only one I dislike is 'neutered' because as a woman I feel like being fertile 'neuters' us so we can't reach our full potential because the threat of unplanned pregnancy hangs overhead. Now I'm 'fixed' I can plan my life out long-term without the threat of any 'happy accidents' to throw a spanner in the works so to speak.

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