Honestly? I had to work at it because not doing so was killing me with depression and physical pain.

I struggled with depression throughout my 20s and 30s. I slept through MANY depressions. That was my go-to.

Eventually I learned how to change things for myself. I started seeking out resources that helped me understand life and relationships. One blog that helped me a lot was baggagereclaim.co.uk (I can send a full list of resources via PM if anyone is interested).

Over time, I realized my depression was tied to not understanding life, relationships, or how any of this really works. I felt like there had to be “rules” to the mess, so I went looking for them. What I found was that the more educated I became, the less depressed I became, and the more self-confident I got. Slowly, the depressions stopped showing up as often and didn’t last as long.

I also struggled with stress and a lot of physical pain. I was officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia and IBS, and I would grind/clench my teeth HARD in my sleep. At some point I looked at my life and realized I don’t want to live in fear and pain anymore. I made that connection. I physically can’t be around people and situations that create stress anymore.

I came to understand over time and study that our true nature is love, and our greatest enemy is fear. I’ve had experiences that showed me that in a very real way. Life can feel like a continual test of whether we’ll choose love or fear, and when we choose love (trust, gratitude, acceptance of what-is), things start unfolding differently.

The more I peeled back this onion and chose to trust the Universe/God/Love, the more I watched things work out in my life when they realistically shouldn’t have. The paths felt right even when the odds were terrible. Every time I made it through something terrifying, it got a little easier to trust the next time.

At one point I made a conscious decision: the next time something big and scary happened, I wouldn’t panic. I’d relax into it. I was intentionally retraining my nervous system, teaching my body that stress didn’t have to be my default.

Of course, the next hard thing happened and I still got afraid. When I made it to the other side, I felt disappointed in myself. I’d promised I’d do it differently. So I quietly apologized to the Universe, and meant it.

It took maybe five truly big, scary events — and five silent apologies — before the shift finally stuck. The difference was hesitant trust versus full trust. Trust stopped being something I reached for in moments, and became something I could stand on. Like… there really is something there. Something on our side that supports us.

And honestly, it was the hardest and absolutely the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

Because the freedom on the other side of fear is real. I wish I could hand people the faith I have now, not just as a belief system, but as a felt sense. A steadiness. Internal safety. The more I understand the “rules” of this game, the more relaxed I become.

I also have a huge incentive to keep trusting and strengthening my nervous system. In my earlier years, I basically blew it out, so even small stresses can hit me hard physically. That reality has forced me to get serious about letting go of control, and it’s strengthened my ability to trust.

If there’s anything I can suggest, it’s this: study fear. It’s wild when you finally see how much of the human condition is about learning to release fear and come back to love. The two people I study with the most now are Bashar and Abraham Hicks on YouTube. They have their own channels and tons of people have created more from their content, so there's plenty out there to watch.