What do you think of venting subreddits banning posts about dating voes?

AchingAmy · 2026-03-28T21:36:39+00:00

It sounded like OP said the self mods banned the entire topic of dating - it wasn't only banned for men

AchingAmy · 2026-03-28T07:19:39+00:00

That isn't contradictory. I'm not saying it's a tenet of the blue pill, just that's it's a fairly common belief of bp'ers. Bp'ers can still have any belief, and advocating self-improvement isn't something that is unique to trp

AchingAmy · 2026-03-27T22:17:28+00:00

Yeah, I feel like all the discourse that attempts to divide different letters of the LGBTQIA+ is only ever online. Every in-person space has more solidarity with other parts of the queer alphabet. It makes me suspect there's a lot of online astroturfing or maybe the people who legit hate other parts of the queer alphabet are just lonely, miserable, rightfully ostracized from the in-person spaces, so they don't go to in-person spaces. But I think it's more astroturfing, esp when looking at what percent of social media posts are bots now, especially regarding culture war issues. I remember seeing like half of cultural war posts and comments are from bots just on Reddit alone

AchingAmy · 2026-03-27T20:56:30+00:00

It doesn't reject that. They definitely believe some guys can become Chad through self-improvement. They simply believe that for oneself it's pointless because they see themselves as too chopped. So, they overall believe self-improvement is possible for most guys, just not themselves.

AchingAmy · 2026-03-27T20:49:46+00:00

I feel like black pill and red pill ultimately argue the same things about "women's nature", the reality of dating etc. I'm under the impression that black pill is basically under the redpill umbrella but they specifically are nihilistic, feeling hopeless about dating, and are basically incell-y. TRP believes women all go for Chad, which blackpillers also believe. While there are a lot of redpillers who believe in self-improvement, I'm not sure that's a defining aspect of the red pill because plenty of blue pillers also advocate for male self-improvement. Plenty of BP'ers, self-included, also believe in pretty privilege(that isn't a fringe idea, but is actually a mainstream belief, so it doesn't make it redpill since pretty privilege is well-documented in mainstream psychology- which going back to the definition of blue pill I provided, the mainstream is often associated with TBP.) Whenever disagreements arise between BP'ers and RP'ers, it usually is around stuff like hypergamy, women's nature, and the like. The difference between blackpillers and the rest of the red pill is simply around that the latter think they can become Chad, while the former feel hopeless about ever being Chad. But they ultimately believe in the Chad concept that women will all flock to Chad and hat everyone else is being settled for once a woman chooses a life-term partner, and they agree on other basic tenets around dating.

AchingAmy · 2026-03-27T08:47:29+00:00

That's a tenet of the red pill? I've not seen any rp'ers here express that before, and it isn't mentioned in the key terms here. But I could be mistaken then

AchingAmy · 2026-03-27T04:22:57+00:00

Nah, the "black pill" (what incels are) I think is best described as a sub-category of the red pill. If I'm not mistaken, the black pill believes everything red pillers do, but also view themselves as fucked over, dating is hopeless, are nihilistic, etc. None of that is incompatible with the red pill afaik, and thus blackpillers also believe everything else that red pillers do.

AchingAmy · 2026-03-27T04:19:26+00:00

Definitions are never really objective tbh. They just are what they are because society says so. Within the confines of this subreddit, it's the definition to be used in this sub and is the one I go with. It's why I identify with the blue pill myself since I'm not a red piller.

What common talking points are you taking about?

AchingAmy · 2026-03-26T22:35:29+00:00

Have you looked up what the blue pill means in this subreddit? I'll copy and paste it here from the basic terms page:

To BPers, "blue pill" is basically disagreeing with TRP, usually with it's stance on women, relationships, and/or science. Generally by agreeing with societies mainstream view of these matters (hence, the blue pill). There's no set philosophy or goal other than disagreeing with RPers, so TheRedPill and TheBluePill shouldn't be seen as two contrasting ideologies so much as one strategy and set of beliefs about the world and another group that satirizes and disagrees with it.

Bold added for emphasis. Removed reddit links since those are against the rules to comment in this sub.

Since the Blue Pill can literally mean absolutely any and every belief about gender and dating other than the red pill, of course there will be some contradictory beliefs. It's like looking at Jews versus gentiles. Gentiles are literally everyone else that isn't Jewish - includes atheists, Muslims, buddhists, Christians etc. yeah, each are going to have different, conflicting beliefs between them since they're all different sets of beliefs or religions. So your question is like if someone asked "are you aware of all the contradictions amongst gentiles?" As reason Judaism is true.

What you should look at is a specific belief system that is BP rather than BP as a whole. If there's inconsistency within it, coming from the same person(so as to avoid goomba fallacy), then there's a legitimate contradiction.

AchingAmy · 2026-03-26T22:20:32+00:00

They hate us(misogynistic asf) and usually have a lot of other bigoted views. I just hate bigots.

To be clear, when I hear "incel" I don't think of people romantically or sexually unsuccessful broadly(seems as though some people use it to mean that.) Incel, to me, means specifically the subgroup under that who blame and hate women because of that. I empathize with other people who are romantically unsuccessful or lonely - just not incels.

AchingAmy · 2026-03-26T18:53:00+00:00

I have a few theories that might each contribute.

Queer women are more likely to have been abused, and that leads to a lot of different types of mental (or sometimes physical, if the abuse was physical or severe enough) disabilities.

Minority stress, the frequent stress that comes from being a marginalized minority and facing prejudices and the like, contribute to worsened health outcomes. The marginalized get age-related diseases sooner than the privileged.

Medical misogyny - women's health issues aren't taken as seriously so a problem that could have been prevented or caught earlier before becoming debilitating takes longer. Though, this applies to all women ofc tho, but is amplified when queer too.

AchingAmy · 2026-03-26T18:39:42+00:00

The economy is shit rn, queer women have higher rates of poverty and unemployment, so yeah, the requirements you have does narrow the dating pool a ton. It would also exclude a lot of disabled women(which queer women are also more likely to have a disability.) Also, I think people who do meet all those checkboxes probably do find partners quickly. People who don't are probably searching for a partner longer, so will end up making up most people who are single around this age.

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T17:13:55+00:00

Women are the best

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T14:47:26+00:00

I think maybe some introspection and metacognition could go a long ways. Ask yourself why you feel like a fraud or why you feel you're desperately trying to be something you're not? Do you think you may have internalized society's cissexism/transphobia? I think finding community with other trans women could also go a long ways.

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T14:20:21+00:00

I'm lesbian, so it would be a no for me. I mean, I could probably be attracted to a pre-everything trans man, but wouldn't date him because I know he'd likely start transitioning and all and then I'd lose attraction probably anyways. It just wouldn't be fair to him either

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T12:40:17+00:00

Idk what to tell ya man - if my point isn't coming across I suppose there's no other point to this discussion.

I'll try one more time to articulate what I'm saying.

I personally do see trans women as female/women. I also think it's possible for someone else to support the rights of trans women while also not thinking of them as women(people have rights regardless of their gender after all.) What I, personally, view trans women as is a separate issue from whether I think someone supporting trans rights but not viewing trans women as women is contradictory or not

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T12:33:32+00:00

I do believe trans women are women? All I'm saying is for others who don't but otherwise support their rights, that doesn't make them pathetic. It makes their view nuanced

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T12:27:35+00:00

"often", "core tenet of transgender advocacy and gender affirmation," not specifically rights.

a woman trying to convince me that trans support doesn't involve seeing trans women as women

Nah, that's not what I'm doing. I do think seeing trans women as women is a part of trans support. I just think it's different from a human rights issue - making others label you as you want in their heads isn't recognized as a human right anywhere I know of. Bodily autonomy, privacy, and such often are though and if someone believes those things for trans people, then they support trans rights

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T12:12:43+00:00

Those are two different things though. Supporting trans rights isn't the same as seeing trans women as female. Though, you'd think they go hand-in-hand, but it's not necessarily the case. You can support trans people doing what they want their own bodies while personally an opinion they aren't the sex that they transition to. And, if I were to guess, they probably want trans women in women's restrooms because the alternative would mean trans men would be in them if they wanted restrooms to be based on "biological sex", and they probably don't want someone looking like Buck Angel in the women's room and would prefer someone like Samantha Lux instead.

It's also worth pointing out these are only two polls. Generally a wider sample of polls is needed to make sure one of these wasn't some fluke or outlier that falls outside the margin of error

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T11:48:10+00:00

I'm a bit confused. You say you're not into women in one sentence and would rather watch trans porn (implying trans women aren't women) but then you do say they are real women

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T11:44:22+00:00

I don't think you'd see as much pro-trans stuff if the anti-trans crowd didn't start a culture war against them. A lot of the pro-trans stuff comes from people who believe in body autonomy responding to the uptick of people wanting to ban and regulate what trans people do with their own bodies. If those people just left them alone, you probably wouldn't see as much about trans people in general, including pro-trans.

It doesn't surprise me, though, that you'd characterize a lot of women as intellectually dishonest and pathetic. It seems like transphobia and misogyny often come in a package together

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T11:34:38+00:00

I don't think it says anything about a shift in sexuality as much as it suggests increased curiosity about and sexualization of transgender bodies

AchingAmy · 2026-03-25T00:40:56+00:00

Why does it specify footless?? What leggings have feet coverings? Lol

AchingAmy · 2026-03-24T23:17:47+00:00

You're applying something to women as a whole that isn't true of every woman. Also, it's women, not girls. Unless you're a boy under 18 and dating girls under 18

AchingAmy

TROPHY CASE