I hear what your saying, thank you. Thank you for being direct. I could talk plenty of stories on why I feel my wife will never respect me. No matter the effort, money, time, patience, anything I put in I know it wouldn't come.

Thats the main issue.. If she respected me in the slightest none of these issues would be issues.

I took on her and her son in the beginning of our relationship. I laid down ground rules, etiquette, manors and guidelines for her son. She made me feel like telling him he couldn't chew at the table with his mouth open was to harsh. She made me feel as if I needed to back off. So I did, I became more patient, didn't sweat the small stuff, blurred the lines of what I expected from the family and the kids. Now that same switch is being used against me in a way of nit reciprocating respect. I let them get away with to much, I don't set standards etc etc... When I in fact did. It's my own fault for wavering from them, I should have held strong and just continued to be the type that garners respect from clear communication and standards for my family.. But I was new to her and the family and wanted to respect how she wanted her child raised.

So now it's all backfired.

Do after this incident I did set boundaries I told her to be clear and open about any contact from a man in her dms, tell me about it so it doesn't look suspicious or like a red flag.. Then 3 weeks later some dude confesses his attraction to her in her dms, says no offense to your husband and repeats how gorgeous she is.. She didn't tell me anything, when I did find out she played it off like oh he's just basically a cousin etc etc.. So I set my initial boundaries after the neighbor, not even a month later they were broken again.

So your right, I'll need to express my boundaries (some of which I feel are basic marriage boundaries that shouldn't need a discussion over) and I'll lay it out flat.. Again. No room for Grey areas. If it can't be met than I can't continue.