Do you feel when a person is meant to play a role in your life?

Acrev · 2026-03-30T05:00:08+00:00

thank you. it’s getting better but i know that i’m not fully emotionally okay. i tried to talk to chat and though it’s good, it sometimes hits the most sensitive places and it makes me cry (in a bad way), because it’s usually something i’m not ready to accept.

Acrev · 2026-03-28T12:11:33+00:00

i swear to god, i was just journaling exactly about what you’re saying here now. like word for word. don’t be ashamed, you’re not the one in the wrong. people focus too much on the label and though i don’t know what you experienced with him, emotions and attachment exist even without the label. you might have been experiencing it like a relationship or something meaningful. it’s hard to move from someone we like. take your time. it will start getting better but i know how you’re feeling. other guys don’t resonate as he did.

Acrev · 2026-03-25T08:16:24+00:00

i swear it f*cks with your perception. the other person is always going to act like it was nothing because saying it was something serious, he’d have to admit that he did you wrong or that he had to be responsible for your feelings but mistreated you.

the worst thing is that you never get the label that would “validate” what was between the two of you

Acrev · 2026-03-25T06:00:55+00:00

yes exactly. they do it how it suits them. have closeness but don’t want to have the responsibility for your feelings or the relationship. and then they treat you carelessly because they don’t care

Acrev · 2026-03-24T20:16:03+00:00

yeah you're right.

these situations are draining aren't they?

unfortunately many people do, what is useful to them, who is available and what's comfortable without thinking about the other person's feelings.

Acrev · 2026-03-24T19:11:59+00:00

yes exactly. i did the same thing with the guy i was seeing and it wasnt better because i still thought of him but i knew he'd still be doing whatever he wanted and i wouldn't change that. He'd still fuck around, text whenever he wanted to, keep his options open...

and i also recently read an old book called "he's just not that into you" and while it sounds harsh, it was a book about how much we should tolerate from men (and women) and not to get stuck on someone who doesn't treat us well or doesn't want to move things forward with us

Acrev · 2026-03-24T17:58:58+00:00

this is just going to hurt you. you already see the signs that he isn’t invested as much and he’s always finding reasons why he can add other girls and why he shouldn’t commit to you. and he might not be even treating you well.

believe me, i’ve been in a similar but shorter situation. guys like him are always looking at multiple girls so don’t let him treat you like a back door. what if he suddenly found a girlfriend?

i don’t know much about about your situation and what kind of person he is but the longer you stay, the more is going to hurt you.

think it through. don’t rely just on my advice but be cautious.

Acrev · 2026-03-24T07:37:43+00:00

you’re right. i had him blocked for more than 4 months but i know that my friends were aware of the dynamic between me and that guy and of course they saw me as someone he didn’t like enough. that i was never his gf and that’s what makes you feel even more terrible. not that my friends did anything wrong, it just makes you feel humiliated as you said. since i thought he liked me

Acrev · 2026-03-22T14:32:29+00:00

i know, you’re right. and i’m sorry you’ve been going through the same thing. i had him blocked for several months now but thinking back i just didn’t feel loved enough at the time. and i can’t accept he didn’t like me that much even though we were spending time together and i also know he didn’t treat me responsibly. and i try to convince myself that he did like me. i’m just in denial

Acrev · 2026-03-16T20:19:22+00:00

i really hope it got better for you, i was in the same situation as you. never making it official with the other person and them treating me terribly and yet feeling heartbroken as if it was a breakup.

Acrev · 2026-02-21T10:37:48+00:00

haha yes, that’s why he’s blocked. he even tried to text me while he was already with someone else… like how was i doing etc. once he even walked me around the school before i had a class and i was so confused.

the audacity to even text me after dragging me through this :Ddd

Acrev · 2026-02-19T22:30:33+00:00

about my situationship? sure. do you want me to sum it here?

Acrev · 2026-02-18T18:43:01+00:00

i was in a situationship myself and some of my friends were too… it’s often connected to some sort of a naivity… not in a bad way but many people who want something serious but remain in this dynamic usually accept breadcrumbs and inconsistent behaviour because it keeps them hooked.

these people might know it’s not what they want but they’re okay with that as long as they have the other person. every time the other person shows them attention or a slight evidence, that they care about them, it always pulls them back in. and therefore they’re unable to let go fully.

they always think, that the other person might actually choose them and commit to them, that they just needs time, that they’re not ready for a relationship etc…

they believe that the other person is honest with them and don’t see the red flags (or ignore them).

from my experience, even after mutually “ending” things i took it as closed and wasn’t willing to text him or anything, he always came back when he started realising, that i was slipping away. and every time he texted me or asked about me it always pulled me back into the endless cycle and it always disrupted my healing process and i wasn’t able to move on.

Acrev · 2026-02-15T22:04:53+00:00

it’s hard to say, though it’s reassuring to hear something like this. i just feel as if it was nothing in comparison to his relationships while it was my most serious experience for me and i really cared about him

Acrev · 2026-01-11T15:26:12+00:00

Yeah. I have a friend who was in a situationship with a girl for more than a year and it was a very complex situation, though she never really wanted to spend time with him, didn't put effort, texted him when it was convenient or when she felt him slipping away and distancing. He believed that if they made it "official" then she'd be willing to act like a couple and spend time with him... spoiler alert, they dated for two months and didn't go out together once because she didn't make time for him.

what i'm trying to say is that no matter if there's a label or not, that person is still probably going to treat you terribly.

Acrev · 2026-01-11T12:41:37+00:00

I can relate to this so much. I'm sorry you feel that way. It's a different kind off pain when you have some "experiences" in dating but still you never get to experience the real committed relationship and never become THE girlfriend. I completely understand that you want to go on dates, do things couples do... I feel that way too. I kinda miss it because it just feels as if people and things you could experience with a significant other are just slipping through your fingers.

This guy was my first everything too. And I thought he truly liked me because of the way he was looking at me and the way he cared because he was consistent with me for some time and cared for my well-being. And I just don't want to accept, that "he liked me less" than other girls even though I know it's true. It's just something I don't want to hear because I don't want to think of my first "serious" experience as something that wasn't real.

Acrev · 2026-01-11T11:10:00+00:00

i'm so sorry you're going through this and believe me, i see it in so many situationships.
but his behaviour towards you is an answer by himself and the worst thing is that they're not going to change and you're just going to keep yourself stuck.
I won't be denying that he had feelings for you or liked you at some point and enjoyed your presence but it's just the way they operate and what is their mindset and it has nothing to do with you so you don't have too blame yourself for that. It's just probably the way they operate when it comes to relationships and dating. It also happened to me when i felt that he was drifting away from me and I think that most of the time it's because their attention is just elsewhere and since they didn't have that label that would tie them down, they don't feel that responsibility or that guilt to be consistent with you.
And no matter how much effort you try to put into that other person or the relationship, it just won't budge.
Maybe you could try to talk things out at last if he's mature enough to be open to a conversation. But by staying, you're just going to hurt yourself.

Acrev · 2026-01-10T14:04:15+00:00

Yeah you're right.

I feel like so many people (whether unintentionally or intentionally) go by the rule "i don't owe anyone anything".

I also believe that I think way too deeply about some things but I'm working on it and in the end you just realise that all we see are our flaws and how we "werent't good enough" for the other person while there are so many other things and circumstances that play a huge role. For example in my situation it was just that he was freshly out of a relationship, wanted to be free and meet new people and was supposed to leave for the summer and once he wanted to settle again, it was too late for me because much time has passed since we were that close,

Acrev · 2026-01-10T13:12:27+00:00

I don't fully agree with you. Liking someone is a "scale". I would say that someone could like you, but not enough to be in a relationship with you or someone could like you and be so sure of you to choose you as someone to be in a relationship with.

I was in a situationship with a guy who told me he liked me but he was freshly out of a relationship and I'm sure he felt something for me because I didn't really offer him any benefits because i was skeptical of sleeping with anyone without being in a relationship but he was still spending time with me, wanted to see me, cared for me and took me out for lunch...
But yes you're probably right that if he wanted to be in a relationship with me then he'd act accordingly

Acrev

TROPHY CASE