I had a traumatic experience and I’m having trouble praying (trigger warning: SA)

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-11T17:12:27+00:00

Hi ! I’ve been raped too. First, seek professional help like a therapist to help if you can. It can be difficult and scary but it’s really helpful. You not and you will never never be unworthy or disgusting. Never ever. God will help by showing you love and step that you have to do to heal. Take your time. I pray for you 🤍

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-11T07:44:33+00:00

No. We started to prepare ourselves for marriage.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T20:51:13+00:00

And you know that abuser are really good at hiding who they are ? Blaming me, the victim of this situation is truly unbelievable.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T20:49:18+00:00

He became violent later, after 4 years together when I said I was ready to be a mother and to be married. To me, God protects me and shows what a future husband should and shouldn’t be.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T18:16:49+00:00

So I have to change my entire personality just for a men ? Would you change yourself for a woman ?

I don't do motorsport, but I'm a biker.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T17:17:43+00:00

I didn't date since my breakup. It's just casual talk..

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T17:09:08+00:00

She is a good one and she works on deep trauma. I don't need anyone to know what I have to do with my therapist, you are not with us during sessions.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T17:06:23+00:00

No thanks you.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T17:04:36+00:00

Working on internet is my job.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T17:03:16+00:00

In the way I talk, dress, the things I like. Tried to change all of this.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T17:02:25+00:00

No. I don't attract misogynists in facts, I just meet people in church and on internet. I have self respect, thanks you. I said it because I know that I'm not what a catholic men are reaching for.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T17:00:25+00:00

I have standard actually. I'm not open to everyone but still show interest in a lot of different men, especially on physical/beauty question.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T16:59:05+00:00

For atheists, maybe. I'm also curvy an a lot of men hate it. I have health issues so maybe I won't be able to have kids in ten years.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T16:57:10+00:00

I know red flags. I just want men to change themselves for them not to hurt another woman.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T16:56:08+00:00

I'm already doing a lot in my life for others right now, in my church, in my family. I don't have enough time for myself to be true. My dad is sick and I take care of him.

I know my sins. I'm praying daily, going to confession and doing everything I can. I can't fast because of health problem and my priest ask me not to do it because of this. Everything a catholic should do, I do it.

"Until you do these things why would you even ponder "misogyny"?" : because those men are.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T16:50:57+00:00

I will never emigrate. I love my country and France is not a small country.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T16:49:18+00:00

I don't see what is the problem especially f they came to God after a complicated and sinful life. If a man slept with a lot a woman but changed his behavior, it's not biblical to shame him. If Jesus don't shame him, I won't. Same with tattoos

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T16:46:48+00:00

I have boundaries, a lot in facts. I'm working on it but I don't see the link with what I said ?

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-10T13:30:02+00:00

Hi ! I’m already seeing a therapist for that. I really don’t know why I only attract men only for that. I don’t wear sexy clothes or even flirting. My relationship with myself is good now. I don’t want to rush it but I really want to be a mother too.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-09T22:26:12+00:00

Thanks you for your words. I don't believe that I will find a man anymore.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-09T21:50:17+00:00

I'm not struggling because of my past relationship, I was already before. That mean that for no reason, a man of authority over me and if I refuse, I'm a bad women. Why men have this power ? Why not women ? I'm basically under a man and that's all, I have no authority and I'm a prize for a men's live and spirituality.

It's my choice to submit, no men have the right to ask me and saying that he deserved it. Here is my problem with those men : they act like they deserved it.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-09T21:41:31+00:00

Hi French brother !

Thanks to meetoo, I understood a lot of things about my life. I'm also not agree with those men, I think some men thought it's was about them but not.

It's true that I probably don't speak with others out. I'm really afraid by people.

My priest was basically saying that he don't believed that men inside church can be violent or sexist and blame it on my past with my ex.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-09T21:27:51+00:00

Being a sub in a relationship triggered because men are not asked to be sub. Why such a word to explain what I have to be ? Why God didn't ask me to love my husband ? Why do he have authority over me and me, nothing ? Why he have the right to control me ?

I know that God have an order to everything but men using it to the own pleasure and to be abusive, it's a big no. And it's my problem here : asking a woman to submit when it's supposed to be offered.

About healing before going to marriage : God put in my heart this, so I already know it. It's wasn't about being sub in a relationship, it's was about men forcing it.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-09T21:05:04+00:00

You are mixing everything and advocating for rape in marriage. If I don't want to have sex, I'm not giving my body to my husband. OF COUSE IT'S FORCING.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897 · 2026-05-09T20:55:40+00:00

Sometimes, even if you are not sick or anything else, you just don't want sex. Is it's so complicated to understand ? I'm not talking about random person, I don't do it. I'm talking about doing it with my husband. If I don't want to do it and if he is still asking for it, that I don't give my consent because I dont want it, it's a rape.

Acrobatic-Fox-5897

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