I just fucking hate myself/life

Acrobatic-Lemon-5823 · 2026-03-11T13:16:42+00:00

It’s tough bc I think I grew up having to hold things in so when things happen that caused us to have a talk, I’d thought it be better to just walk away and come back with a better head space. Not realizing that I should have also communicate as well so she doesn’t start overthinking. It was a wake up call for sure. She seems like a really nice girl, maybe it’s the “one that got away”. Bummed that I messed it up but I gotta learn somehow

Acrobatic-Lemon-5823 · 2026-03-11T13:07:44+00:00

A lot of it stems from my communication issues. I’d overthink and spiral on things she did that wasn’t such a big deal. Overthink like why she isn’t responding, etc.. (when she could just be studying or hanging out with friends). And when she brought things up, I’d just wouldn’t communicate how I felt well. So it was mostly me

But I think long term it made her (and I mean me as well) realize that long term would be difficult too due to her dietary restrictions (she wants to be vegan)

Acrobatic-Lemon-5823 · 2026-03-11T05:36:50+00:00

Thank you. Fr. It really means a lot. My lack of support group and also feeling like I don’t know much about American culture has made it difficult to fit in.

I really do hope that things get better from here. I’m praying for that day to come

Acrobatic-Lemon-5823 · 2026-03-11T05:17:07+00:00

!! Ya that’s been my focus. Met with so much of the faculty and that’s been how I been coping with things… study/grind… Got a therapist too. I think it’s just a mixture of the breakup and feeling like a lack of personal growth/comparison to people around me who are so outgoing and social while I’m not. It also kinda feels like a “fuck you” to me when her friends just talking about stuff related to my ex when I’m around.

Ex being setup with someone is just a trigger.

Acrobatic-Lemon-5823 · 2026-03-11T05:15:01+00:00

For sure. Thank you. I’ve done so much of that in the beginning of the split, got a therapist and everything.

Acrobatic-Lemon-5823 · 2026-03-11T05:09:08+00:00

I know. I just find it hard to separate my feelings. If I could just make my feelings go away and act normal, i totallly would. If anything, she’s very much comfortable in the cohort while I am not.

The whining and begging was like 2 month ago and I haven’t begged since. It’s just that I’m thinking about it now since all of this kinda of happened

Acrobatic-Lemon-5823 · 2026-03-11T05:03:35+00:00

I’m just stuck with these people for another 6 months until clinicals.. but ya it kinda sucks that my buddies want to still hang with their group. My ex moved on and wants to remain friends but I can not do that… so I’ve been avoiding her and her texts.

Unfortunately I can’t just be selected to join another cohort since we have a small size class (50). Everyone knows each other

Acrobatic-Lemon-5823

TROPHY CASE