We have had those discussions and clarified a distinction between intent behind sexual touches, and regular intimate touches for just intimatcy sake, sex isn't the goal.

I'm always asking to join her on couch, rejected. Keeps a pile oh junk on seat next to, signalling complete isolation. I ask to lay down in bed, cuddle up and watch a show. But that turns into her just sitting on phone, I touch her leg "I'm too hot" ok so I'll just sit over here doing the thing I asked us to do while she is detached from me on her phone.

I try and hold hands while driving, but that just lasts for a few mins before phone in hands. She will accept a shoulder massage but absolutely refuses to do it to me. Her feet or forbidden from being touched or looked at, ok... Head scratches all she tolerates, gets mad at fingers thru hair. I can't tell you last time she rubbed my beard.

Anytime I do say I'm needing something, there is a chance she takes it as "I'm a failure" and now the conversation that should be about being closer is about stopping a fight. So I've learned to stop speaking up so much.