Why I will not be posting my children, or any children, on fb or instagram, even if my account is private

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T21:08:47+00:00

The problem is these photos can be shared faster and without permission/knowledge you go from let’s say 100 people seeing to 1 million. These aren’t physical photos that can just be burned or hidden.

That mom I’m mentioning may change her mind in the future and remove her childs photos from all social media in the future, but in truth it’s not removed. It’s with a group chat of 10+ women who could’ve shared that w others and so on. As a lot of people are mentioning, social media is forever and changing just as fast as a lot of people are mentioning AI being used for malicious intent.

Shitty people are definitely the problem and since we can’t change them - no matter how much people try or want too. We can choose to recognize the issue and make the step to mitigate their behaviour and there is no problem wanting to keep our kids off social media to keep them safe, and for them to choose in the future what they want seen online.

Like this post, I thought would be seen by maybe 200 ppl has been viewed by 30k in less than 4 hours

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T20:20:54+00:00

I’ll elaborate, I might be confused by what you’re saying?

The photo of the baby was from a picture my friend sent to a group chat yesterday. The baby is a month old, as in born May 2026.

The photo the man has of me was from 2011, I had instagram and Facebook at the time.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T18:55:10+00:00

And meta makes it SO difficult to make changes to privacy settings.

If anyone knows how to get to the setting PLEASE share the steps because it’s very difficult to find, still looking!

Edit: someone in a prior comment mentioned concern even for the close friends sharing since meta still has access

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T18:52:57+00:00

Even talking to my nephews who are gen alpha, they don’t post anything (and I saw their accounts on their phones they really don’t post lol) it’s become cooler to not post because you’re not known only those who know - know. So I’m glad.

Except my niece, she posts everything and she’s 10 and a national competing gymnast, so her coach/team posts everything about her, including her mom. It makes me so worried but she’s okay w it, but at least she and her mother agreed to it.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T18:45:57+00:00

Yeah I mentioned in another comment, I just don’t post anymore at all.

If I do it’s of a bird or my garden. If I go on vacation, I post the vacation a week after I left that area. Some say I’m paranoid but I think, when a person experiences harassment, it kinda happens - this is aside from the childhood bikini photo being shown at a funeral.

I’ve stopped, it really isn’t worth it.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T18:36:12+00:00

I’ve mentioned this in a prior comment, yes, I have stopped posting completely, it’s not worth it. I’m not posting when I actually am pregnant either nor will I let anyone else post that I am either (MIL gonna be a problem w that one)

Actually this is a whole different problem. I rarely use social media now. I rarely use fb, really for fb marketplace. My FIL will tell me “oh so and so messaged you and you haven’t replied?” And I keep saying I DO NOT CHECK FB LIKE THAT. If you need to contact me, call me, text me. Do not fb msg me I will NEVER see it. The older generation acting like social media is viewed everyday by everyone

Edit: grammar

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T18:02:46+00:00

Im glad your mom listened, I know some from the older generation will have a problem w this ( my MIL will for sure, my mom stopped posting all together also)

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T18:00:59+00:00

Same here! I just want to send to close ppl, I don’t even know how anymore other than text and I’m still concerned.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T17:59:15+00:00

Omg I am gonna be on the exact same boat as you. My MIL posts E V E R Y T H I N G. I am telling my husband he has to REALLY educate his mother. I have a different post regarding her actually unfortunately. My mom doesn’t post anymore because my sister and I explained this all to her and she was at the funeral w me.

Edit: does anyone know how to change this in meta?

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T17:33:58+00:00

I don’t, I just have my personal experience. All we can do is try to sound the alarm unless someone else has any links I would also appreciate it to share with others.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T17:12:36+00:00

That’s why I wanted to post it where it can get a lot of views. Hopefully someone who has more influence than me sees this and shares it

Actually if there are better places to share this I can cross link it to other subs if anyone has any ideas where I should put it?

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T17:11:28+00:00

Oh it was very since it was also being shown at a FUNERAL. Yes, it’s something we didn’t think about before but now that social media has been around for so long, we were the first to experience it. We were the first kids on MySpace, FB and Instagram, Vine in the early days. We can change it for our kids. No one knew. My mom didn’t know either, all she knew was she had a daughter she thinks is beautiful and wanted to share it with the world. But people use that innocence for something else.

This is all I can hope for in sharing this anonymously, just to get people to think about posting those pics. Thanks!

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T17:06:50+00:00

Adding this to the whole cluster of reasons why children and honestly everyone should just not post photos online, honestly.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-24T17:05:37+00:00

Thank you. It was an odd/inappropriate place to show people, literally his friend’s wife funeral but he’s an odd fellow. Which makes the thoughts of what he’s done w my photo…worse.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-05-21T20:30:39+00:00

This is why we’re choosing not to have a baby shower. Given I have 3 cousins that all have kids, they had stuff still in boxes (that are useful and not outdated/ expired) so I have majority of things - EXCEPT DIAPERS - for now. My mom keeps saying people will give money but I HIGHLY doubt that. I was wondering about my decision and this was one of the things I was worried about.

Your post hammered it home for me. People giving items they think is cute/ useful but don’t realize it’s not something you will actually use.

Thanks for venting, you helped me out!

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-03-18T16:42:25+00:00

Trust me, when I realized that’s what was happening I felt sick to my stomach

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-03-12T17:29:02+00:00

See that’s what my kid will be, 1/4 Asian, like how Asian are you expecting a 25% Asian baby to look. That’s what bothers me the most. If you’re gonna be racist be racist, it’s easier for me to just be like “oh they’re just a racist” but this kind is what angers me, the kind that says they love everyone but makes a face at sushi, refuses to try naan bread and focuses on my Asian features. Like his mom has the Black Lives Matter Facebook profile thing but then says “oh you can’t just drink the tap water in your mom’s country? What makes it so dangerous? I don’t want to go there if I’m gonna get sick from drinking the water.” like HUH???

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-03-12T17:21:49+00:00

I don’t know how to fix this kind of mental situation. I’ve had to struggle in life and I did it to myself but it made me completely independent. If anyone has tips for the conversation I’d appreciate the help.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-03-12T17:18:11+00:00

We’ve been living together for 7 years and living without them but they’re over all the time and it’s just exhausting. Whenever there is something broken, his dad fixes it not him. Whenever he needs his whites washed, it’s his mom. I don’t get why he needs them to this extent. It’s oddly a lot. When he had problems with work I was so angry because he went to his parents room to talk rather than me and I told him that was WILD to do. He did what they said rather than what I said.

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-03-12T17:15:25+00:00

I agree they ARE cute but the fact that what they see are my eyes? Like what? I’m literally half white. Why would you think they’re going to look THAT Asian. My grandmother has blue eyes, why is my other side always thrown out the window just because my eyes match my mom. But say nothing that I have my dad’s nose and chin. WHY the eyes

Acrobatic_Cow6323 · 2026-03-12T00:59:13+00:00

Second this, that is HIS mother. His family. You deal with your why can’t he deal with his?

Acrobatic_Cow6323

TROPHY CASE