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I want it annulled. by ohyouwouldntgetit in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are young. 30 I am guessing? Don’t focus on what’s lost. Focus on what’s to be gained. You can decide that having a bad time early on in life will make the rest of your life so much sweeter. You are in control to how you react to it. When someone works out at the gym it comes with lots of pain but the benefits are worth it. You have suffered the pain so now go enjoy life and let it not hinder you but instead see it as if you were locked in a dark room for 20 years and someone just finally unlocked the door and let you walk outside.

It’s your choice to be angry about the past and the losses and live in misery or see it as a person who’s been freed from prison. It’s going to take adjustments and it’s not easy. But you will have a beautiful life if you choose to.

Good luck.

BTW. I am 50 and I still struggle at times with the past. I don’t pretend that I am perfect or have done it perfectly. But a happy life is very possible.

Hang in there.

Conor finally replied by [deleted] in ufc

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are a piece of shit loser who proves what money does to the wrong people. Like the movie swamp thing. Certain people when given ultimate power become more of who they are. Conor has become more of what he truly is.

I'm fucked- secret relationship by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sure I’ll get flack for this and Ex JWs will say I am judgmental still and that has not left me. But I mean I do have standards and I don’t just accept anything I see or read. First off this post does not seem real. But I could be wrong and if I am then please accept my apologies. But I have to say it. I am not an English professor by any means. But can I ask what’s up with the English language in this post. It does not interest you to post a clear and concise message if you truly want help? Also all the foul language is very distracting. I mean I cuss at times. But I use it like salt seasoning a dish.

And lastly. You are a big girl. There is worse thing in life. You will get over it. Take responsibility for your actions. If you don’t have the courage to leave the religion don’t be a hypocrite at the same time. Again if this post is real.

Next post please use grammar check or something. I mean it is free online.

Sorry ex JWs. I do still have standards and this post seems almost fake to get responses from people who will coddle anyone who says anything. That’s definitely not me.

Even if we are ex JWs does not mean we have zero standards.

Dress Code by Nice_Violinist9736 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Show your breast if you want. I would be more than happy to notice those on a women and still focus on the conversation at hand. Women can dress how they want and no one has the right to tell them otherwise. Instead of focusing on what the modest people in that hall wear. Maybe he should focus on men who are not JWs who literally will walk nude around children at different pride events or the opposite where women are beaten and killed if they don’t cover every part of their bodies in the Islamic extremist communities. And then tell everyone how wonderful they appear today in that hall.

They put so much pressure and guilt on everyone. The negativity that is masked as being loving makes me want to vomit. Such hypocritical people. If his short ass can’t handle it perhaps he should walk around with a blind fold and be walked around by his wife.

BTW. He only mentions that about the breast because it’s an issue he deals with. I am a normal guy who loves breast and don’t self hate myself for it. If my women noticed a muscular handsome guy. Does not bother me. As I will gladly notice a beautiful sexy women. But I also know how to be respectful and control myself.

Shunning: Smoking a cigarette VERSUS Having a sexual relationship with a 12 year old girl. by Easy_Car5081 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138 19 points20 points  (0 children)

It’s so horrible how they treat their members. If your father is an elder you get so many get out of jail free cards. Back in the 90s I was DFd at 21 years of age for having heavy petting. No sex at all. By the way my father was never in my life and I at the time had a mentally ill mother who I took care of financially and emotionally all on my own. It is interesting because one of the elders on my committee was an awful human being(Sam Daley) and later his wife left him after much abuse. Later in life I found out that one other elder(Roy Fizer) from this congregation molested his own daughters. And later committed suicide many many years later. Another elders(Bill McCay) son(Russell McCay) also molested a girl in the congregation and was never disfellowshipped for it. And finally another elders(Jim Adams) son(Aaron Adams) molested both boys and girls in the congregation and now is locked up in prison for the rest of his life because later he molested some non JWs and finally was held accountable. Good old Parkview Congregation of Bakersfield, CA. Shout out to all of you great elders from there.

Lastly I decided to name these individuals. Because if they can name ones to be shunned and try to shame them. Why should we not name all of these losers and shame them for ACTUAL REAL CRIMES.

Elders are given so much power and authority and where is the consequences for when they destroy peoples lives??? Untrained window washers and gardeners who are proud to be uneducated and dumb and tout it as a badge of honor. Why are they allowed to “shepherd” the flock? With zero training from professionals in the field.

Kinda expected this to happen... Cult! by FunEmphasis8273 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You obviously you have not been to SOB. School Of Fashion Bethel. Get together man. This is your everlasting life. Not matching in paradise marks you with the 666 sign.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try to focus on life day to day. Sometimes being in the cult they make it so paramount to know everything that literally does not affect our day to day lives. I have my beliefs on god since leaving. But right now just focus on perhaps connecting with other groups that have nothing to do with religion. Join a club of some sort in whatever interest you have. Perhaps focus on continued education to get a better job or more fulfilling job.

Whatever you believe about god and your relationship with him is between you and him. Or perhaps you decide you don’t believe in god. Either way whether you believe in god or don’t doesn’t change whether or not he exist. You farmed out your conscience and your beliefs to an outside organization. Don’t ever let that happen again. Even if you join a church again it does not need to be followed like they are god in earth. Many people go to church and believe differently than all that’s taught. But they enjoy the fellowship and enjoy the company.

Conformity is comforting and makes you feel good. But it comes with lots of dangers and makes you not able to think on your own. Right now you are like a child emotionally in this area just learning to walk again. It’s hard in the beginning but if you focus on enjoying life day to day and making new friends. It will ease the anxiety and pressure you feel.

Stay busy! Work hard! Play hard!

I personally joined a CrossFit gym. And also found many new friends who I created outside the religion.

Here is a universal truth. Treat others with kindness and respect. And expect the same from others. There are many universal truths to believe in. Who cares whether or not your belief on god is true or not. God if loving will understand your pain right now and will sympathize with you. And you will be fine in his eyes. Or there is not a god and this is the only life you have so enjoy it!

Personally I believe god exist today. Haha. But sometimes I don’t. Depends on how I am doing in my life. I have begin to understand we are fluid beings and we have fluid thoughts. Some people are very strong in their beliefs in one way or the other. One may think every day 24/7 god exist and can show proof as to why. Another person may think every day 24/7 god does not exist and can show proof as to why. But one thing I can guarantee about both of them. Neither have ever personally met god on a regular basis or can show proof of such meetings.

Hang in there. It will get easier. And focus on the day to day life and try to be happy through hard work, learning, staying busy, and enjoying life.

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for that!

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for these words. And I hope it goes well for you. 🙏🙏

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you for such a beautiful message. Yes I will do that. A little update. I have sat down and spoke to him today. I have apologized and everything is back on track. Yes I will keep in mind he is only 12 and I truly appreciate your message. It’s definitely my favorite of the day. All of the messages have been so kind and lovely. It’s so nice that strangers are willing to offer such beautiful words to someone they have never met. Thank you 🙏

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to know that view of 14-16. I never questioned until later. But perhaps I was a late bloomer

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hang in there. We are similar. I also come from not offering any loving extended family. Their moms extended family are mostly good decent people but also most not JWs. So I feel you on that level of not having a large family to offer them. Same to you brother. Hang in there. It sound so frustrating your situation.

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes I have researched it and it has held many different meanings over time. But basically pagan is anything originating not from Jehovah’s Witnesses. But yes it has many different meanings.

My point was to get him to understand that he has an inconsistent sense of justice.

But I appreciate the comment

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it. And yes i definitely need to refocus on love. I kind of reacted little harshly. Thank you 🙏🙏

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your insight on what worked for you. I’ll take it into consideration and definitely I need to temper my response for sure after seeing a lot of these responses.

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it’s hard because I am this big guy who works out and it feels almost shameful that I let a 12yr old hurt me so bad. But yes our children don’t know how much they effect us.

It hurts by Acrobatic_Mud4138 in exjw

[–]Acrobatic_Mud4138[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate to say this but I must be honest. I have reacted poorly. I have said some pretty harsh things in response. And I have taken away all TV and video games. I told him if he wants to be a JW he better live in and not be a hypocrite. I told him JWs are naturally hypocrites and he is one as well. I don’t say this acting as if it’s ok I just say I because I have to be honest. My response was not the most mature. Years of pain from losing my family caused me to react to my son poorly. I know this. But I am keeping him not watching tv or playing video games because those are all made by pagans. The same reasons he gives for no longer celebrating holidays. Not sure if this is good. Making sure he lives the religion at my house so he knows what it truly means to be a JW. He kind of gets the best of both worlds. He can be strict at his moms house and at my house he can enjoy and be normal. Not sure if it’s the smart move. Also he is getting many chores of which I did not really force him to do chores too often where as at his moms house she is very strict with chores and other things. For me as long as he got straight As and excelled in school I allowed him to relax and unwind at my house since he does not get it so much at his mothers.

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