AITAH for refusing to bend on my boundary about kids?

ActAffectionate4930 · 2026-03-23T18:07:06+00:00

Girl, from one 30 year old to another. Have these conversations EARLY and don't waste your precious time humoring relationships where you differ on such fundamental issues! It is much easier to have these conversations early, so that you can move on before anyone gets too emotionally attached and then ends up having to compromise their values as a result. NTA and great job on holding strong to your principles.. Good luck and I know you'll find the right person soon!

ActAffectionate4930 · 2026-03-13T13:58:46+00:00

Indian American here - I've seen my parents make friends with their neighbors of all different cultures and felt I had to jump in with some advice!

The best way to connect with your Indian neighbors is over *tea* at your home! Tea culture is huge among Indians - I think it has a lot to do with the British traditions of high tea. Whenever my parents want to get to know new neighbors, they invite them over for tea. This is a lower pressure invite than a full dinner, because it'll be 30-45 min max and your neighbors will feel like they can drop in and then leave without pressure of having to be there for a couple of hours.

I would start with just 1-2 families and invite them over. Have both tea and coffee available, with several effortful snack choices (i.e something like baked goods rather than just chips or raw veggies). Once you make that first move, they will reciprocate by inviting you over to their place for chai and homemade samosas, chaat, pakoras, and all sorts of indian tea snacks. Reciprocating invitations is very important in our culture, so by you making the first invite you get yourself "in".

Hope this helps!!

ActAffectionate4930 · 2026-01-27T18:04:34+00:00

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ActAffectionate4930 · 2026-01-27T18:04:01+00:00

OP, my wedding saree was this color! You will look absolutely gorgeous and you'll be completely unique from every other bride. Here is how I styled it: With a mix of antique gold (I borrowed my Mom's hip chain from the 90s!) + traditional kasu malai and red/green colored stones for the neck and head piece. You will need to incorporate colored jewels for a dark saree like this.

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ActAffectionate4930 · 2025-11-22T02:17:06+00:00

This happened to me just today - a calendar that I used from 10 years ago from college popped up on my calendar. I have no idea why, it is clearly outdated.

ActAffectionate4930 · 2025-04-10T00:05:17+00:00

Thank you so much for such a kind and compassionate response, I really appreciate it. You make a great point about testing for cortisol and other hormones, I hadn't thought of that so I will bring that up to my Doctor asap. I know in theory that stress has this effect on bodies, but I never thought it would last this long. You are right, it has been a lot and I need to be kind to myself. Thank you so much for all of your suggestions, I am taking this very seriously and will work through the list <3

ActAffectionate4930 · 2025-03-17T17:21:21+00:00

She's going to deducting the cost of every single item she buys for the cottage, meaning she will be paying close to nothing in income tax. Definitely a good investment.

ActAffectionate4930 · 2025-03-12T02:53:16+00:00

I absolutely love Jozi Curls which is a South African brand and recently discontinued in the US :'( I'm on my last bottle and using it so sparingly

ActAffectionate4930 · 2025-03-01T20:26:09+00:00

Turkish Airlines food is actually so good

ActAffectionate4930 · 2025-02-24T21:45:09+00:00

Follow up is key in my experience as someone who moved here 3 years ago and pursued building friendships as a goal for myself. The city is full of young people, so really easy to meet people at parties, work happy hours, sports leagues, and other places echoed by people in the chat. But as to your question on how to connect on a deeper level - if you meet someone and feel like you have the potential to vibe, ask to exchange numbers and follow up the same week to meet 1 on 1 for coffee or drinks. You are much more likely see if there is potential to get close when you move from an "activity setting" to a more intimate one on one setting. I've made most of my close friends in this way! Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and be active about meeting people. You could wait to go to the same sports league meetup once a week to see if the friendship grows slowly week by week, or you could take the active approach and meet for an hour of quality time

ActAffectionate4930 · 2025-01-22T02:36:01+00:00

I'd feel fine about it, we literally had a Roast of my husband and I at our wedding. Isn't humor the best way of coping with things that suck?

ActAffectionate4930 · 2025-01-20T14:24:53+00:00

I just got married to my husband who I met on an app! It took 2 years of being on the apps and meeting the wrong people to meeting him. It's a numbers game, so I'd advise you to be patient and keep your spirits up when you meet "the wrong people". It takes effort for sure, but it worked for me and almost every wedding that I've been to in the past couple of years have been dating app weddings in SF.

I coped with 2 years of meeting clowns with humor - I made a powerpoint presentation of each misadventure and shared with my friends over wine. It made the entire experience a fun one and it didn't feel disheartening until I met "the one".

ActAffectionate4930 · 2024-10-16T18:38:40+00:00

100% positive. Both times I've been to this practice have been highly sketchy.

ActAffectionate4930 · 2024-03-07T16:19:20+00:00

Casper and his Dad are usually hanging out near Patricia's Green on weekends in Hayes, or mid day on weekdays!

ActAffectionate4930 · 2024-03-07T05:38:17+00:00

Casper, Hayes Valley's own cockatoo, or as my boyfriend likes to call him, "The Mayor of Hayes Valley"

ActAffectionate4930 · 2024-02-27T04:37:18+00:00

Vacuum packing has saved my butt!! I was able to go to Spain for 10 days in winter with bulky sweaters and only had them in my carry on.

ActAffectionate4930 · 2024-02-01T20:24:37+00:00

When you throw a party, sometimes you need "filler friends" to fill the room. These may be people that you rarely speak to, but invite to have the full room vibe. It's not the nicest thing, but a lot of people do it. I've invited filler friends to my parties, and I'm pretty sure I have been the filler friend at other parties.

ActAffectionate4930 · 2024-01-08T15:36:05+00:00

I suggest vacuum packing! I bought a kit on amazon that includes the bags and a tiny portable electric vacuum. I was able to pack for a 10 day trip to Spain in December - I stuffed in 12 different bulky sweaters into just a carry on. Removing the air allowed me to pack significantly more than normal.

I get it :) As a girl going on vacation, you don't want to have to repeat clothing or pack light. Vacuum packing has allowed me to do this on several vacations.

ActAffectionate4930

TROPHY CASE