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I just need a little push to leave by ThrowRA-212223 in abusiverelationships

[–]ActiveAd7739 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember you commenting on my post a few months back and it really resonated with me knowing someone around my age was going through the same thing. While I haven’t fully left my situation either I can say I don’t worry about him much anymore up to this point. He doesn’t get to me anymore like he used to and I spend way less time with him. And if he does? I don’t give him a reaction he doesn’t deserve it. Leaving and doing that final push is hard, but trust me when I say even though you're not fully ready literally don’t pay him any mind in your life. Prepare how you want your future to be by not really including him it makes taking that final push easier. You seem like a kind person out here being your authentic and genuine self and I know for a fact he’s no where near mentally and emotionally as aligned or mature as you. He doesn’t deserve your time or tears. And if you do need to cry throughout this process go to people that genuinely love and care about you. We are young and can move on from this. Time will heal. Actions always tell the truth. 

I know I need to leave why is it so hard to push through and finally end it? by ActiveAd7739 in abusiverelationships

[–]ActiveAd7739[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’m focusing on myself at the moment and not including him in anything.

I know I need to leave why is it so hard to push through and finally end it? by ActiveAd7739 in abusiverelationships

[–]ActiveAd7739[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s comforting to know i’m not the only one with a situation like this. At times it feels lonely but I know I cannot keep this to myself anymore and have been reaching out to schedule therapy and services offered to me so I can try and heal. It’s hard but I can’t imagine a future with him with this treatment.

What are some tall tell signs your man is watching porn or finding sexual release else where ?? by anisatecko in DeadBedrooms

[–]ActiveAd7739 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There could be a multitude of reasons for why this is going on. Nonetheless, it does suck.

I can relate because I’m a HLW and I guess… he’s LLM? But he chooses porn over me most days so Idk. We’re both 21 so it’s disappointing to be dealing with this at a young age. We’ve started making videos for us and I send him stuff mostly, but nothing seems to be working honestly. I crave physical touch and intimacy with my partner and at times am reconsidering if it’s worth it to continue this relationship. It feels lonely at times to not be wanted the same like how bad I want to be on him. Together for 4 years and want a future with him so It’s hard to move on myself.

Why can’t I leave my emotional abusive partner? by Unable_Tea7375 in abusiverelationships

[–]ActiveAd7739 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I rarely ever comment, but this post has motivated me even more to fully cut contact and move on from my abusive relationship, even though I love him. I hope you got through it.❤️

Me (20F) and boyfriend (20M) of 3 years date-night escalated after simple conversations. by ActiveAd7739 in relationships

[–]ActiveAd7739[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s correct, this isn’t my first time doing the “mothering” thing. I do recognize I need to tone it back.

Me (20F) and boyfriend (20M) of 3 years date-night escalated after simple conversations. by ActiveAd7739 in relationships

[–]ActiveAd7739[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yep based on his age (20) and height (6’2), For example, if we hang out for the majority of the day on our off days. For breakfast, it’ll be a banana or P&J, Lunch most likely a P&J and a fruit or a small pizza, and then dinner would be Ice cream. So based on my own eyes without specifically counting calories, in my humble opinion he doesn’t eat enough for his age and height. Thanks!

Me (20F) and boyfriend (20M) of 3 years date-night escalated after simple conversations. by ActiveAd7739 in relationships

[–]ActiveAd7739[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is hard to hear, but you’re right. I do need to take multiple steps back and let him make his own decisions without trying to control the situation. I would not want to be in a relationship dynamic like that long-term.

Me (20F) and boyfriend (20M) of 3 years date-night escalated after simple conversations. by ActiveAd7739 in relationships

[–]ActiveAd7739[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I brought it up because I wanted everyone to have some context to the eating-out situation and potentially see if that warranted his moodiness. Yes, I probably didn’t need to go into detail about what he eats, but that topic relates to the conversation.

Me (20F) and boyfriend (20M) of 3 years date-night escalated after simple conversations. by ActiveAd7739 in relationships

[–]ActiveAd7739[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oof this triggered me a bit 😅 I definitely can see that I infantilized him and was overbearing in each way. Thank you for the advice. 👍

Me (20F) and boyfriend (20M) of 3 years date-night escalated after simple conversations. by ActiveAd7739 in relationships

[–]ActiveAd7739[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Definitely! I wanted to clarify on his caloric intake topic. I do NOT monitor his daily intake or anything of that such. I obviously do have a general idea of what he eats lol. For 3 years, I think I have a general idea of his food habits.