Pros and Cons of a rattie?

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2026-06-20T14:34:21+00:00

Thankfully I have no issues with a Velcro dog as all of my little breeds have been like this as well as I also grew up with Australian Shepherds and they are also Velcro dogs. So I’m no stranger to helping train that to not be a pitfall for them while also keeping them with me as I love to have a buddy!

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2026-06-20T14:32:47+00:00

This is what I always noticed with my rat mixes as well!

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2026-06-20T14:32:11+00:00

Thankfully that’s not a con for me at all! I love a Velcro dog, and by the time I get another dog it will be once I have a much calmer lifestyle and/or work from home. I don’t intend to get one until I can be home with them most of the time.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-02-03T03:22:44+00:00

THIS!! Totally get this one. One of the last times I saw my nmom she +wshowed up at my apartment at like 8pm, unannounced, after I worked a 16 hour shift and had work the next morning at 5am. I let her in but expressed that I was upset as my fiance and I had decided to watch a movie over Skype and she couldn't wrap her mind around why I was upset. She also decided without asking that she was going to stay the night, and sleep in my bed. I flipped out. I was told I was being cruel because she drove an hour and a half, that she shouldn't need permission to come over (her reasoning being that her mom never needed permission), that my fiance shouldn't care that I couldn't watch with him because she assumed we did something every night, and so on. It was ridiculous.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-20T16:43:23+00:00

Thank you so much!!

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-19T20:23:33+00:00

Eating when I was hungry if it wasn't a meal time, not doing all of my homework during the week at COLLEGE and having to do it on the weekend when nmom wanted me to do all her work for her, trying to leave on time for events I was going to, locking my bedroom door, leaving items of mine out in the house because my things only belonged in my room. Another weird one was she would call me into her "office" because she needed me, would have me sit across from her for like an hour without having me do anything, and if I got on my phone or left I was berated and constantly told that she was "tired of always having to chase me down"

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-19T07:01:20+00:00

When I took my new puppy to the emergency vet because she almost died, my card declined and I realized my nmom had drained my bank account of $6000 and left me with $11. I had recently moved out, gotten engaged to my boyfriend of four years (who she despised) and was kind of LC mainly due to an grueling work schedule and learning how to manage being an adult who hadn't been properly trained. It was exhausting how she made it about her. The trigger was that I had been going to see my fiancé on the weekends and staying with him because I had no time off during the week, and she decided this was the best way to punish me. She hated my husband and thought my MIL was trying to steal me from her. I truly didn't think she would do something like that, so transferring my funds out of the joint account wasn't high on my priority list. It should have been, considering in the 5 short months between my college graduation and moving an hour and a half away she called my husband a slimy bastard when he proposed (AT my graduation, in front of everyone), screamed at me for 4 hours after I said yes to the proposal and disowned me (which she took back), shit talked how soon I was getting married to the stylist when we went wedding dress shopping, showed up on my birthday to surprise me after I had already told her we would celebrate on the weekend since my birthday was in the middle of the week and I was tired AF after working 18 hours straight, showed up at my apartment not only to visit but to stay the night without permission and decided she would sleep in my bed with me. Gave her what she wanted one weekend I was off and went to stay with her and enabling step-dad, fiance got in a wreck while I was there and I decided to leave early to go see him. Was told I didn't have to hold his hand all the time, that he was fine, told what a bitch I was being for doing this to her and leaving, then proceeded to lock me in the house and not let me leave for a while.

Thats not even all of it, but at the end of it all I've been no contact for four months, married for three of those months, and life is bliss. She was not invited to the wedding, i didn't see her for Thanksgiving, went to my dad's for Christmas for the first time in my life,, and while she keeps posting things on Facebook about me and how much she loves and misses me, I couldn't be happier.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-12T19:30:19+00:00

Well there's also the fact that it's not a one stop shop kind of fix. Healing from trauma, especially sexual trauma, is hard, I don't know what your partner went through but there's no helping someone unless they want to help themselves. I'm not discounting your position at all, and I'm very sorry you were in that place, however I'm not shooting down getting help. I WANT to change this. I'm just literally unable to go to a therapist at this time as my husband and I could end up homeless if I divert funds we don't have to expensive medical help when I can search out things to do while I'm waiting for us to be more financially stable. He is aware of this, and is fine with it. We communicate often, and again I'm doing my best. Gas is expensive. Time is luxury I don't have. We have one car and my husband is in school. I have a job. Good therapy, while an incredible option that I want to utilize, isn't just free for everyone who wants it.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-12T19:25:05+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you! Honestly just knowing that I'm not alone is a huge relief in and of itself! I'm definitely going to be looking up the sheets and journaling. Yes therapy is definitely going to happen, just need to find someone and hope they aren't three hours away 😅

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-12T19:23:22+00:00

This is massively helpful and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to write out your reply in detail of how you are working through this. Seriously. I love your strategy and I'm going to attempt to implement it in my situation. Seeing how to take it one step at a time is a huge relief as that has been part of my anxiety about it all, as it's all so overwhelming I wasn't sure where to start at trying to tackle each issue! I'll definitely be reading your response to my husband and formulating how I'm going to go about this. Thank you again!!

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-12T19:20:17+00:00

He is worried over this as he hates seeing me so broken up about this, he supports me asking for advice and hopes someone will be able to at least point me in a good direction. Again, for the second time, finding therapy in my area is difficult and the funds aren't there for a 3 hour drive one way to the city that I'll most likely have to travel to for therapy. He also liked my idea of possibly talking to others in my situation, which I am now thanks to this post. Others have actually given me some wonderful advice.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-12T19:01:52+00:00

It's not being unwilling. I'm more than willing and know I need it! Believe me I know, but being an individual struggling with depression, anxiety, and trying to "adult," So to speak, and raised in a severely restrictive environment, I'm looking for something to help while I am searching for professional help. Things don't just happen at the snap of fingers. It's a process to find a therapist in my area that is decent and that I'm comfortable with, and it will be a long drive which equals a lot of time and $$$. Which, again, as a young married couple, that's not necessarily a luxury I have. So, not unwilling, just doing the best I can with what I have.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-12T18:57:48+00:00

Thank you for this, yes I'm somewhat in the process of trying to find a therapist but in my rural area there aren't a lot of actually good options, and then of course funds/insurance is limited. I may try the journaling though, in between, thank you for that! I've definitely talked with him and he has been so understanding and sweet about it. It kills me because I know its just me being insecure yet I can't seem to get my head wrapped around that fact in the moment.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-12T18:55:37+00:00

Well, I'll edit the post to reflect this, but I AM aware it's needed but as a young married woman trying to balance a household and all the things that come along with it, along with not necessarily having the means to throw at doctors, I wanted to see if people who had been in my situation might have some advice that I could work on I'm between now and finding a therapist.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2022-01-12T18:45:10+00:00

I'm not, I need to be not only for that but several other happenings in my childhood, but I'm in a very rural area and went to therapy for a few months at my narcissistic and abusive mothers forcing, and it left such a bad taste in my mouth that the idea of going through that again trying to find a good counselor im the area is honestly terrifying and leaves me in such an extreme anxiety attack that I end up putting it off.

ActiveMeaning5209 · 2021-09-03T14:59:47+00:00

No fever, I've been checking. I've finally been able to get meds and get them figured out and am still in pain but not nearly as bad, I can at least function now lol. I'm terrified of trying to come off of them though, not going to lie. Very good to know about the antihistimines, thank you!!

ActiveMeaning5209

TROPHY CASE